Thanks for clearing that up, Drew-Silla.

Other synonyms are overly obedient, cowed, and 'whipped', per the urban slang dictionary.

I'm taking this information back to the fuckmuppet tribe.

*kicks over your tiki torch

The Urban Slang Dictionary is usually worth checking out in these cases. Do you think I'd have a leg to stand on if I sued you for using a phrase I coined in the title of your Golden Age post?

Thank you so much for the definition. I get so confused when these subtle discussions go on. Fuckmuppets, indeed.

Do we have tenure here? What are the rulez? Must we have EPs that are less than two years old?

Arson is WRONG Amanda!

Tenure is granted upon joining OS. Retention of said tenure is contingent on not engaging in instances of repeated, incorrigible fuckmuppetry. EPs are awarded in an inverse ratio to the relevancy of the post in question.

Fuckmuppet makes them sound much cuter than they are.

Can one be a fuckmuppet and a fucktard at the same time?

I like some whine with my cheese!!!

WISCONSIN, IT'S ABOUT THE CHEESE, SO EAT THAT, CALIFORNIA!!!

:D

**Wanders off for some cheese**

I believe I credited you with your entire phrase, "Passive Aggressive Fuckmuppet" in the comment section of my post. It may be the first use of the entire phrase in the history of the English language and based on my attribution, you could end up in the OED.

So, you can either thank me or sue me -- your choice.

Mrs. Michaels, my personal reaction to unrestrained fuckmuppetry is projectile vomiting.

Larry, only if you leave a box of Thin Mints on your way out.

And Tinkler, there's no use in trying to wow me at this stage. I know you're still seeing that "wife" of yours you cocksucker.

I'll thank you then Nick; you were a gentleman about it. I wonder if I'd be able to get the phrase in Wikipedia?

*puts tiki torch back up, apologizes (passive/aggressively) and runs off with thin mints and some of Larry's hair.

*puts tiki torch back up, apologizes (passive/aggressively) and runs off with thin mints and some of Larry's hair.

does it twice

I too am wondering what gives OS tenure? Is is participation in some all night silly vicarious drinking games, drunken OS meetups, the flame war sidelining or a fabulous return from flounce? I have a few of those. Working on the others. I did drop the F bomb at someone late one night, that has to count for something.

Oh please, everybody knows I like to suck on chickens already!! GAWD!! WE NEED NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

**Wanders off grumbling about finding a new media secretary for his campaign**

Pffffft!! Everyone knows I like to suck a chicken or ten! Bring the public some news!!!!

**wanders off muttering something about needing a new head of media for his campaign**

I'll give you two grabs at the Thin Mints Amanda, but only one at Larry's hair. We don't want to lessen his roguish charisma by unevening his coiffure.

Rita, those are all activites that can enhance your tenurehood, but dropping the F Bomb doesn't sound like you at all. It only counts towards possible promotion if you did it with malice aforethought or were on some sort of street drugs.

Tinky, the chicken sucking is viewed as a plus for candidates in Wisconsin. They're little better than animals up there, almost Canadians in fact.

Why won't you answer my PMs? Is it the chlamydia? Listen, the doctors have said I'm no longer contagious, though the copious amounts of discharge will continue for a while yet.

"The fuckmuppet derived a warm glow from belittling others while posing as a paragon of civility." or: "A gaggle of giggling fuckmuppets gathered for a grand gang grope."

I'd say the above might describe you and some others, last night.

I would never discuss you or anyone else in the terms you used last night and today discussing me, us and our opinions about a feature we, open salon members lost . not asked for or demanded or dreamed and pulled out of our collective fanciful asses, but lost.

you don't agree? then make a point. or don't. use terms like fuckmuppet and show what you're made of.

Amanda has the evidence on the drop of the F bomb. There were not street drugs involved although I am not against them. There was some blog hijacking going on and I lost it. Gotta count for something.

Stellaa wrote a list! ha!

but your F bomb isn't on it :(

Yes Trey, copious amounts of discharge sound wonderful. Maybe you can get a job at www.stdfetish.com.

Rita; counting for something is what it's about. Or should be, at least part of the time.

Foolish Monkey, the primary difference between last night and the behavior of fuckmuppets is that fuckmuppets disguise their snideness as calls for civility, or as bravery in the face of those mean old OSers who don't happen to agree with their kindergarten take on what OS should be, or as "speaking out against McCarthyism" or whatever the fuckwitted rallying cry of the day is. I on the other hand, and many of the people I admire around here, am a bitch right to your face when it suits me to be one. Since you're at least speaking forthrightly, I'll go ahead and give you a "Fuckmuppet But With At Least Some Honesty About It" button. Now curtsy please and don't forget to collect your Thin Mints on the way out.

Stellaa, you left off #9: Learn that not everybody who disagrees with you is trying to "repress" you.

but art james is. :)

Other uses are: strawman, slave, drone. xox

oh aren't you a piece of work.

you don't agree with me and resort to calling me names and then you think you can say anything that pops into your smarmy little noggin and it's all okay because you've maintained your high level of snark.

drusilla, you're nasty for the sake of it, clearly relishing being nasty. your name, your demeanor reinforce your vile little self created little cyber personna. sadly, you don't even have the good sense to see it. which makes you not nearly as smart as you wish you were and pretend to be. you wouldn't dream of talking this way to people offline. but you do here. so that makes you not only a fool, but a fake and a coward.

Oh-oh, Foolish Monkey. I fear she's going to take her button back. And wouldn't that be tragic????

That's the spirit Foolish Monkey! I'd like to chat more with you but my browser keeps crashing so I may not make it back. Rest assured though, you presuming to know what I would or wouldn't say offline is hilarious.

Stellaa, I'd add the list, with Robin's additional definitions, into the post but my browser keeps going down. It's something I picked up in OS I think, maybe from the fuckmuppets. Help!

And hi Kit Kat! My browser is working for right now, so please feel free to break out Kate Yaeger and get a little freaky.

Why you got to be so mean Drew? Are you trying to repress these people?

I would not assume that she doesn't talk this way to people in the offline world. I know quite a few people here who have no problem calling crap what it is both here and in person if warranted. I'm one of them. I can provide testimonials.

Oh yeah?!?
Well, I once at the still beating heart out of a man from Tulsa.
And STILL made it to my kids soccer game on time.

*ate

unless you're a female gladiator, Laila Ali or a big man with bigger fists, in the real face to face world, one is tactful and discreet.

or perhaps you have no teeth.....gnashing your overworked gums or whatever you do when you're not typing evil little epithets.

Amanda - you are a woman after my own... uhhh... heart.....

Amanda, you crack me up, you ruined your punch girl...

Speculate away Foolish Fuckmuppeting Monkey, you're a hoot!

There are more nutrients in the liver Amanda.

Ok. Stellaa 's list
Number 1 and 2, check
3,4, no.
5,6,7 yes agreed
8. always
No it is not about me. But how many friends I can get to back me up.

75% works for me Rita. I've never seen a post that was a direct attack on me either, though I've gotten my share of insulting PMs.

And speaking of insulting, where did that Fuckmuppet Monkey go? She left her whizzo button.

You can count on me to always be, ahem, behind you Rita.

Nope. I didn't see the monkey go by on my way in. Whose button is this?

Kim, you two-timing bastard ewe!

I'm moving to Canada!! I got an offer, forty acres and all the wine I could drink from the udder of a yak!!!

WHAT A COUNTRY!!

Buh bye you suckers!!!

I'd say fuckers, but I like you folks, not enough to make love to you, but fuck ya? HELL YA!!!

**Wanders off to go make love to nana's stuffed yak**

Just in case you thought Kit's apology to me for appropriating my identity and doing the nasty was sincere, think again. I have just about had it with the bullshit around here.

I told you about Rita a long time ago don't you dare come at me like that now muckfuppet. The mountain meant a lot to me Drew, and it always will. You know that.

The button's up for grabs Abby. And after all the time I spent gluing sparkles and elbow-roni on it.

Tinklyinkler, stay away from that yak! You know how Nana gets when you besmirch his critters.

And speaking of critters, what's all this about ewes? I smell bro-mance in the air.

Emma, I've seen Kit Kat's recent remarks. I was struck by how she made them in response to perfectly respectful, well-reasoned comments on your part. I can get her being hideous to me, I ask for it, but she seems to save her real rancor for people who are reasonable with her.

Drew what happened between you and me and nan has nothing to do with how I feel about Rita.
Got it, muckfuppet ?

I guess the truth hurts.

Damn. I might get tenure after all.

Hell Rita. It's yours for the taking. I saw one lying around on the floor here somewhere. Just pick it up and put the damned tenure on for muckfuppet's sake.

I'm not on the Golden Committee (they're the ones who decide which OSer's tenure is extended or terminated) but I'll put in a good word for anyone who can tell me why my browser keeps crashing.

Are you using Safari?

I'm putting my Iron Paw down, enough is enough is enough, if you people want to, get into the hot tub, make out with each other, slip the tongue, Mr. Montana likes it when you do that, but this horse shit lately has to stop, right now, I'm serious, really.

Ed just sent me a message stating, "You better get your whores under control!! Otherwise, I'm coming down to the 'Gutter' and putting my foot down up your ass!!

Did you read that? Up my ass!!?? Something I enjoy very much but not in anger. And the powers that be think you're all my whores, even the ugly ones!!! The ugly ones!!!

Actually, seriously, the Eds are getting off on this shit, makes their site seem popular, the place to be, the place to get sexy with yourself. So go back to your tattoo parlors, your massage joints, whore yourself out to each other, play some chess too. The kind of queens we use will not excite you.

Sorry, wrong script, **throws it away and grabs the original** The Man is going to put a foot up all your asses if we don't stop being pricks to each other. We need to love each other, kissy kissy and fucky wucky and all that.

No more hurt feelings. Emma, I got you Batman costume. Kit, here's your electric guitar. Nana, you french kiss everybody, but make sure you shave your ass!! We don't want too much hair glare in the camera.

Drew, you get the 12 inch vibrator out, the one with the AnalPleaser, you say "WHAT A LOVELY LITTLE TEA PARTY!!!" and look right into the camera when you say it.

Uh, the rest of you, pretend to be excited that the IRS agent has entereed the room but then turn hostile and rip him apart. The part of IRS agent will be played by old new lefty's realsex doll.

And action.....

**Wanders off for some pop tarts and Citizen Kane** ROSEBUD....

**fade to black**

Credits roll....

"Rough Sex" begins to play.

I have no idea what this is all about, so I have to assume it's about me.

Bastards!

Giggle!! And will you make Trey STFU 'cause he's making my tummy sick and I might throw up all over those ugly boots of his.

Thanks for clearing that up. I kept seeing it pop up and was worried who it was suppose to apply to.

I read all of the criterion and I'm not completely a fuckmoppet! WAAAHHH!

This is worse than not being a singalady! WAAHHHHH!

*runs from room to tear up home made fuckmoppet t-shirt that she was going to wear to the VA today*

It's ironic actually. Everyone who has commented here are tenured members in good standing. Except for me. The Golden Committee has informed me that my tenure is in double blind secret jeopardy for being such a bitch. Bring back the four hour feed? Down with muckfuppetry? Remember the Maine? Fuck it.

Tinkler-Tot, get back here, and bring the yak with you!

::camera pans across blood-spattered floor::

*slow fade to black*

~~queue up "Too Drunk To Fuck"~~

"Who's whizzo button is this?"

fuck, all this talk is making me want to moppet the floor. The worst job.

I remember the fuckmuppets well. I always liked the two geezers on the balcony, Pigs in Space, and ANIMAL!

I miss all the good parties!

Don't worry guys, you can still catch The Muppet Show in syndication in most areas.

I can't believe you'd be so rude as to call people names. I never resort to such meanness, except on those occasions when I do, and especially when I'm posing as someone else. That's just how we roll in Joisey.

Drew Sillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

AMANDAAAAAAA!!!!! Please don't be such a stranger, I was starting to wonder if you still love me.

And CzarSilly, how nice to see you in your real persona! Well, nice is too strong a word, but it is a surprise. How are things with the Girl Scouts?

Good lord. You are one of the few people here I truly miss when I disappear for a while.

Drew...I loves ya.

Persephone! It's been about forever since you've been around; I hope you're well.

Fuckmuppets

Assjackets

and

Asshats

Always love adding a new word to my vocabulary! B.T.C.

Expanding your vocabulary can be fun. And Progressive Liberal has given me a new one as well; assjackets!

Welcome aboard Inquisitive Canuck. Be careful in the playground though; the slippery slide can give a nasty burn and the teeter totters are just covered in fecal matter. Always bring some Purell with you and you should be fine.

What, this old thing? Stop it Jeff, you're making me blush;)

So what do you call a little ugly dumb piece of shit who is so bitter going around scribbling shit posts about nice people here? What do you call someone who no one wants to fuck? Drew-Silla! What do you call a defeated home-wrecker who is out of a job (they told me)? Shit-muppet Drew-Silla!

You seem to have an obsession with the word "shit", which suggests you may be a coprophage. If so, my condolences. Regarding your insults, they're seriously subpar. I can hear "homewrecker" or "someone no one wants to fuck" on Housewives of Orange County for Pete's sake. E for Effort though.

"subpar" eh? Your teacher told that before she kicked you out of the blow-job class? Face the fact that you are a reject and stop your obsession with nice people. No matter what words you use, your POSTS and comments show you are a low life who's dying for attention messing with respectable OSers.

Even a failed miserable angry bitter home-wrecker like you must be nice to others. Be nice now, you hear!

That's right Judge, I'm a homewrecker. ~rolls eyes~ You really need to work on the quality of your bile; I'm putting a note on the margin of your assignment, "Must Do Better."

You failed at that too; you only have one way to go: Up. Be nice! You read my post; you don't even know anyone who can do better. You need therapy.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Craze Czar thinks I don't know who wrote the vilest thing about my husband and I that I have ever seen. Not sure what I did to "deserve" that but it's a line that I don't think has ever been crossed before at OS. I have a very long memory and well, you know what they say about the worm turning.

Craze Czar has a particular sort of dementia. He says rotten, scabrous things - sometimes as himself, sometimes while posing as me - which he thinks will go unnoticed. Or perhaps he thinks they make him look clever. Either way, he's a fucktard of the first water.

Me too Stellaa. Me too.

Any word that ends in "muppet" is cute to me!

Since you guys are defining things, what is the difference between a liberal, a progressive, and a progressive liberal? What about conservative, moderate conservative and neoconservative? I would like to speak intelligently about these things... No made-up stuff. I really am unclear about what is what.

Well then, Kit knows all about "mean" and stealing people's identities and false apologies and passive aggressive bullshit and stirring the shit among "friends" and gloating over the results. Oh yes, indeedy. She thinks other people's pain and sincerity is funny and grist for her very peculiar humour/sanctimony mill! She really isn't entitled to wear the halo of "civil" she so pretends to, but oh, how she tries. The thing is, not many are buying her act any more. Once burned by that particular sociopathic bully, twice shy.

Well then, Kit knows all about "mean" and stealing people's identities and false apologies and passive aggressive bullshit and stirring the shit among "friends" and gloating over the results. Oh yes, indeedy. She thinks other people's pain and sincerity is funny and grist for her very peculiar humour/sanctimony mill! She really isn't entitled to wear the halo of "civil" she so pretends to, but oh, how she tries. The thing is, not many are buying her act any more. Once burned by that particular sociopathic bully, twice shy.

Oops, sorry for the double post. The devil made me do it.

I wonder what Monkey Sue would say?

Monkey Sue. The very sound of that cutesy crap makes me want to hurl. She'd probably say stop stealing my fucking identity!

And now I know. Whew! This was posted two days after I joined OS. I should have been paying attention. I could have saved my ego a tailspin or two...Thank you!

You're welcome Susan. Sometimes a tailspin is just what the ego needs, provided it's followed by an ascent; it's a therapy I use often in my personal life, though never intentionally.

Fuckmuppets of the world unite!

I'm still waiting for your PM...

This is the last thing you posted?

I am saddened.

Your sadness grieves me Jay. Maybe it's just the season, but the melancholia has been worse lately, alas.

And Veronica, as T. S. Eliot used to say, "Pimpin' ain't easy."

thank you! r.