Here's a little conspiracy theory, Mr.  Keillor, which isn't even theory: 

The federal government funds NPR, the only media source desperate enough to prop up your lame vaudevillean-type humor programs, at the tune of $258million annually, while only able to net a revenue of $159million on its own annually.  You're a typical liberal in that the only soapbox you can afford is one that is owned, bought, and sold at the taxpayers' expense. 

Get a life.  I'm sick and tired of paying for your boathouse on Lake Woebegone.