This has no particular focus and I am writing this on the fly. There will not be a version 1.2 or later. In fact, be happy that you got a version 1.0. It's not yours. I own it and reserve the right to cancel it, make changes to it, modify it or start going into your home and reading everything on your computer without warning beyond the EULA, because it's mine on your computer, so there.
Hasn't the Spam for: WATCH! ^^Live %Streaming Team A vs. Team X** Free PPV, taken another noticeable rise in the feed lately? Well, it may not be *the* answer, but I have started to fight back. At least four times a day, I look at the "Recently Posted" feed on the left hand side of the Cover Page. I then quickly right click and "Open in New Tab" all the sports video Spam feeds and take the entire list. Once they are opened in the tabs I flag each and every one of them and list as my reason for flagging: "Just look at it, for fuck's sake!" Submit and move on to the next one.
Yeah, yeah, I know, it's not as spectacular as setting myself on fire, but goddamnit, I'm am burning up over it. Help me fight back the rising tide of spammers by becoming part of the Open Salon Spam Flagging Team. Only you can prevent spam fires.
I have been casually noticing the adverisements in the boxes at the base of our posts lately. Just now I saw one for "The Sims 3." The slogan is, "Play with life." Catchy. On the front of the titles in the Sims 3 panoply is, "Sims Pets."
So I was wondering, just as I have with Ken and Barbie when playacting was real and not virtual, "Where's the expansion packs that make sense in this day and age?"
For example, where are the expansion packs titled:
"Corporate Raiders?" You get to choose between being a CEO, CIO, CTO or CFO and you can play a High Stakes Financier, a Real Estate Tycoon or an Oil Baron. Further additions to this expansion pack will most likely be based on customer feedback, but it's a pretty good bet that Contract Attorney: Arbitrage and Mortgage Securities Trader will be included in the next release. And don't miss the downloadable digital content that lets you play: Defense Contractor, Private Security Firm President or Bankruptcy Attorney! Fun!
"Political Scandals?" Now you get to play at being a crooked politician (are there any other kinds?) You have to figure out how to get your message out to your "peeps," build a warchest of campaign funds, demonize your opponent while spending as few dollars as possible. This expansion pack comes complete with two sets of books for you accountant types.
But wait, there's more! Using a virtual Twitter feed, which can really post to the real world, you have to navigate the virtual landscape between your spouse, your illicit lover (now including choices for LGBT!) , L-Street Lobbying concerns, and your constituents, and still hope to increase your "base." Exciting!
"Street Thugs?" Don't just sit on the sidelines, reading the news about all this rampant crime, become a part of the problem with Street Thugs! Yes, now you, too, can carry an illegal concealed weapon and wreack havoc amongst the neighbors. This pack comes with extras! Included inside are: A mask, a set of fake lockpicking tools, a Slim-Jim (not the food, silly! It's for carjacking!) and a fake Minnesota State Police badge and one genuine Monopoly (tm) Get Out of Jail Free Card!
And my personal favorite, the amusement park expansion, in the same vein as Bible Land, Opry Land and Fantasy Land, titled:
"Toxic Waste Land?" Imagine the thrill of riding in the heart thumping, fear inducing 55 Gallon Oil Drum cart on the "River of Sludge!" Or who could forget the breathtaking panorama as you ride over the skyline of "Burning Oil Fields?" (Don't forget your respirator mask!) Shake, rattle and roll to the earthshaking wonder of shaped charges and tons of dynamite as the Mountain Topper Exposition treats you to a shock and awe not seen anywhere else beyond a battlefield! Don't miss it!
Just some odd bits of random juxtaposition here.
Social gaming. What is that, really? It used to be called Parlour Games and we played things like Monopoly, Sorry, Mousetrap, Ants in the Pants, Trivial Pursuit, Home Jeopardy, canasta, pinchole, bridge, charades and other such things. Today, social gaming is getting an invite from your brother, sister, friend or a total stranger to, "Play Slots at Zynga for free!"
Are you fucking kidding me? Is there anyone here who really thinks slots are fun when you're sticking money in them for real? Honestly? Who the hell wants to sit in front of their computer, clicking a mouse button to run a virtual slot machine? The house always wins, that's the rule, right? We know that and if you can still find a quarter slot machine, you figure, "I'll dump in maybe $10.00 worth of quarters (one roll) and when it's done it's done. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky."
A virtual slot machine payoff? Holy SHIT! I won! But what did I really win? Nothing, right? It's virtual money and means nothing. If I spend actual dollars and win, I might come out ahead, even if it takes me forty minutes to get a payoff with my roll of quarters. But a virtual payoff of fake dollars? Fuck me sideways, but that's just not going to do it for me.
Okay, I'm done now. Just had to get these out there and posted. At the very worst, it should at least get a better rating than the misguided and humorless post: What's Up With Open Salon post yesterday, I should think. That was more a waste of time than the virtual slot machine.
Remember: If you squint your eyes and grit your teeth, maybe they won't know you're not smiling. (No revisions, posted immediately and no preview -- I'm living on the EDGE man!)