"Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams,
The one they picks, the one you'll know by."

(Crosby, Stills, and Nash)

There have been quite a few posts recently about men and women, and I've been thinking about gender differences/similarities. On Fireeyes' post "Men, What Do You Really Want?",  I asserted that in my experience there were at least 10 assholes for every "decent" guy. Then I looked at my son and felt a sharp pang of guilt. My son is almost 13 and just entering puberty. He is all awkward limbs, peach fuzz, puppy dog eyes, and tender heart. He is incapable of hurting anyone intentionally. It feels horribly disloyal to make such sweeping generalizations about men the way I did on FE's blog, and the way I have many times in the past. What does it say to him that I would make such a remark (although I would not have said this out loud in his presence). What does it say about me as a mother?  

In all honesty, I have known many outstanding men. My husband, my father and his brother, countless male friends gay and straight. All these men have enriched my life immeasurably and brought me great love and companionship. I know I am being very unfair to judge men so harshly.

But then, I think about my grandfather who - in a rage - beat a cow to death with a two-by-four, who tormented my father as a boy, and who molested me as a young teen. I think about my sister and the many other women and girls who suffer verbal and physical abuse at the hands of their boyfriends and husbands. I think of the man in a nearby town who recently murdered his wife and their four children and shows no remorse. And I wonder - is my view of men really all that skewed?

Then I think of my daughter - 10 years old and so full of life that her small body can scarcely contain her. I hope that the men in her future treat her with the respect and dignity she deserves, and that she responds in kind. I pray that I can teach both her and her brother well.