Well I'll be damned I'm able to sit here thankful that I was finally able to sign in and read some posts.

 While others are: "reflecting and looking back" on this past year. I sit here and say to myself, "so what lucky food are we having tonight and tomorrow," and serioulsy… Read full post »

Yep its been awhile since I've written anything. With Salon acting up the way it is, why bother I say. But, my therapist says I need to spend 20 minutes doing something constructive while I am in this manic episode to try and slow myself down. When I am in one… Read full post »

The memorial for my Dad SUCKED! The super twins were in charge and DID NOT wait for my daughter and myself to get up there. Which she specifically flew home for. They new it, because they all went out the night before with her. The memorial DID not turn out the… Read full post »

Finally some partial happy news to report:) I pick up my baby girl at the airport tomorrow morning and I get to spend part of the day with her and then return her to the airport on Monday morning:( hey I get the weekend with her. Its for a sad reason… Read full post »

Here I sit on day two with a headache, day six of giving myself permission to bounce from one shiny thing to another. Only this time I don't want to bounce, I want to sit at this computer and write damnit! I don't care if I have a dull headache, I'm… Read full post »

First day of therapy with a new therapist. I really like her, she asked questions and wanted to get deeper into why I am the way I am and why I can't get out of this rut.

According to my therapist my homework for the week… Read full post »

I have a million thoughts running through my head right now. Last night nightmares, this mornings nightmares where I couldn't breath. DBT class tonight and yes she is going:(  She posted on her FB page that she was:(  Its only 11 in the morning and class starts at 4:30./… Read full post »

On Sunday I couldn't decide on what snack I was going to make. Well, I opted to make mini Carmel apple cakes. Then sent them with B for his staff meeting. Cinnamon rolls are still calling my name, but they take so much to do and I have no ambition, energy… Read full post »

Since B cant decide what he wants to do today. I think I will make some cinnamon rolls. I have several employees where he works hinting around that they would like some. It will give me something to do.

I may make some cookies, its a… Read full post »

Slept until 10 this morning. Have no idea why. Got up and made B's lunch and then went right back to bed after he left. I'm still tired. I think its i'm bored not so much tired.

Maybe today I will go for a drive, not sure where yet. Maybe… Read full post »

Went and spoke to my therapist about my dilemma that might start on the 14th. She thanked me for the heads up and said she would stress the rules of the group and if she finds out that she is going and telling the other one, she will be… Read full post »

Yesterday was an adventure, before the day was done, had made a trip to Glenwood to get some office supplies for B:) He is so cute in his new position. His truck pushing days is slowly coming back to him:) Who would of thought that my office manager skills would ever… Read full post »

Today is a new chapter in our lives. B started his new job today, no longer a truck driver. Decent hours, decent wages. He was so excited about this new position he woke up 2 hours before he needed to be there, got ready and then spent 30 minutes… Read full post »

I realized something today. Not sure if I should mention it to my Psych Doc, or my regular doc. When I go out for a day or even a few hours. I am exhausted, whipped and tired the next day. Doesn't matter if I have a Pepsi or not. I use… Read full post »

On Sunday April 1, my family lost a great man. Even though he was our Step dad, he was still the world to us four kids and our children.

 He took us in as his own, helped raise some of his Grand children and loved us all in his own… Read full post »

I think that it is unbelievably unfair for a person to work hard all their life, clear up until retirement age and then some, for what they have, serve their country when asked, willingly in our military and then when they are elderly and disabled and  no longer able to care/… Read full post »

AM I BEING SELFISH? I realize I have to look out for my health and sanity. My son is involved and I'm feeling horrible, but trying to stand my ground. You see I have already had to take care of one family member when they were dieing, rearrange my life, my… Read full post »

Seriously what is my problem, since moving from a 1300 square foot house to this tiny apartment in August of last year, I have had no energy what so ever. Every day is struggle with me. Its getting worse each day. I have no get up and go, no motivation, things… Read full post »

Have you ever been in the mood to do something, yet you can feel that wall of laziness stopping you? In turn your bored with everything? Then your mind starts beating you up because of it.

Then you have radom thoughts running through your mind, of why… Read full post »

For those who were waiting to hear about court yesterday....hearing was to set a hearing. Yep were going through the same process as last year in front of the same judge who sided with us last year. Was praying this year would be different. WRONG......We go back again next Thursday:( please… Read full post »

Yeah I know, absent again from where I find solace, and calmness. Hey in my defense, as we all know, every now and then LIFE does seem to get in the way, of ones calmness and solace.

I've been blah, pacing, crying, freaking out over things with Attorney's, collection agencies,… Read full post »

After I posted yesterday's  post, I had to jump in the shower to start our errands for the day.

While in there, a calm came over me, and my lawyer self kicked in. I rememberd that I needed to call the court clerks to ask about discovery for us. So… Read full post »

So I finally managed to pick up the paperwork that sat over on BD's desk, screaming at me yesterday late afternoon. It was an axiety filled day for me.

 I finally started doing the responses, while doing them it dawned on me. Guess I better call the court and see… Read full post »

Well the paperwork arrived yesterday in the mail......

Castlemienhold and Citi are once again taking us back to court on August 3 to see if they can get a judge rule in their favor this time.

Round one, we won, they perjured themselves, made asses of themselves, and to top… Read full post »

As I sat here this morning, going through my Facebook pages, I was actually looking for apost that I had done last month..re-reading everything I have posted on those pages for 4 months, was well, boring to me....... then emailing a friend on  yahoo as we discussed 'bullies'.

As I was… Read full post »