I have a new pet peeve--dating couples coming to potluck parties. 

I'm planning a Thanksgiving party here in Daejeon, Korea.  I've told everyone who is coming to bring a dish to share and an obscene amount of wine. ( How much wine do you ask?  So much wine that Robert Mondavi questions his manhood.)  That's what I have told the folks, food and wine.  My friend Ken supplied the turkey, which I will cook.  We'll also have a salmon with fresh herbs, lemon, and olive oil for my friends with an antidolean diet.*  My friend Allison is the co-host and she is sorting out the dressing, some biscuits, and a few other things.  Allison and I are hard-core foodies and have been for some time.

To arrange such a dinner in Daejeon is an unusual thing.  Most apartments that ex-pats live in are unable to handle 20 people and most Korean apartments do not have ovens.  Luckily my apartment is about 24 pyung (850 square feet) so I can accomodate everyone, at least standing or sitting on a couch.  I bought a commercial electric oven a while back so I could make pizza.  The previous oven was suitable for baking things or roasting chickens but it couldn't generate the necessary heat for a decent pizza (500 degrees Farenheit) so I bought the one I have now.  

 So I have both--an oven and some space.  I like having guests over so for me to host a Thanksgiving party was a natural.  It's a potluck so I am going through the list of people to coordinate what they might bring.  1st Guy Dating a Girl says he's going to make about a dozen biscuits.  "Great" I say "What's your girlfriend bringing?"  "We were bringing them together."

Hmmmm...

2nd Guy Dating a Girl says he's making antidolean potatoes.  "Great" I say  "What's your girlfriend bringing?"  "She's bringing wine." "Great" I say "Everyone is bringing wine, what food is she bringing?" 2nd Guy Dating a Girl says "You have to bring food and wine?"

Hmmmm...

Married people know what's what.  Married people bring a ton of stuff.  They've been through the trenches, hosted parties themselves, and understand that quantities are needed in order to keep a party going.  They also know that Thanksgiving is a festival and festivals tend to be excessive.

Single people are woefully aware that they have to bring at least enough booze for themselves and a drink to spill.  Plus they have to bring enough food so the married couples don't look at them like they are deadbeats. The old college spirit of BYOB is alive and well with the single people.

I just don't understand what happens  in the dating stage.  1st Guy Dating a Girl was certainly going to bring a lot of wine for his girlfriend and himself, but if a single guy walked into a potluck party that featured roast turkey, baked salmon, Chinese noodles, three kinds of potatoes, fried rice, two kinds of gravy, tapenade, deviled eggs and four desserts (one by a pastry chef) with only six biscuits in his hand, he would be embarassed.  2nd Guy Dating a Girl was planning on a pot of potatoes and one bottle of wine as a two person contribution.  What happened to the BYOB?  Were you only going to have a couple of glasses of wine the entire evening?

I wanted to tell both guys that they have to rethink their planned contributions because they should bring something that should honor the moment and honor the effort that the people have collectively spent for this holiday away from home.  I wanted to tell the guys that if their girlfriend was sleeping with me, they don't have to bring anything, however they are not so they should come with something in their hand.  It is, after all, a potluck.  Either they are invested or they are not.

Instead I just suggested a Costco pumpkin pie would be nice to have and if you travel from Yongsan Station in Seoul, you get out at Seodaejeon Station, a three-minute walk from Costco.

Gotta have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.

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Two equal-sized slabs of salmon, cut and squared

Sprinkle fresh dill and thyme on the salmon, salt and pepper, and rub with a nice flavorful olive oil.

Sandwich lemon slices on the inside with the skin side out.

Roll the whole thing in nori or gim