NOVEMBER 19, 2008 8:30PM

101: "Teenager on the Job"

Rate: 15 Flag

Jack told me his army stories during the seven months when our produce shifts overlapped.  While he rinsed and diced, I wrapped and priced—listening to every word. 

 Travel, women, independence, adventure.

Jack wore camo and came home to blondes and beers.  Jack’s friend Tommy died in an exercise at Fort Benning.  Jack never went to war.

 I got my diploma. 

 Mom begged me not to, but I signed up anyway.

 I went to basic.  

 A year later some Arabs crashed some planes and everything changed. 

I wish I’d listened to my mother’s pleas, but I can’t say that out loud.

........................................................................................................................

Thanks Somyr Perry for getting this going.  I'm really enjoying the experiment.  As the "101's" I've read on here demonstrate, we've got a lot of gifted writers in our little online neighborhood.   

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Comments

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This is flash fiction at its best.
Bam! Now that showed me good. Btw, I took your advice and updated. Give me a sec and I'll add yours to my growing list.
I wish you had too. But I'm glad you are here now.
Terrific! The last sentence is my favorite.
Edgar, thanks for the props. Loved your 101 story.

(rated)
Brave and honest commentary EA. I would feel the same I'm sure.
rated
Whatever you learned in your experience must be valuable to you.

rated
That last sentence--whoosh! Great job.
Your tone sounds real authentic. You're indeed a gifted writer.
Can I just say thank you? Would that be enough?