Everybody has to have a hobby


Chicago, USA
November 09
Looking for a place to leave pieces of her heart, and fill in the blank spaces.


Eleanorr's Links

AUGUST 16, 2011 8:53PM

The Old Married Couple on Pine Haven Drive

Rate: 12 Flag


When they moved to Pine Haven Drive, they were the young married couple on the street.  Both working, taking the kids to daycare and soccer and ballet lessons.  They were thrilled to have a two-car garage and a large metal swingset, with a fort, in the back.

Now the kids are grown, and the swingset was taken down years ago.  Recently they removed their pool and put in a new drive-way to replace the old one, which after thirty-five years looked like Stonehenge.  They hired a landscaper to spruce up the place.

They come outside every night to water the new grass. Things were fine until the landscaper finished and she decided they needed more watering equipment.

The new patch in the back yard did fine with the back and forth sprinkler, but the front yard had patches of new growth covered in straw, plus the strips along the new driveway.

What they had just would not work.

The old woman made a trip to the local hardware store and purchased a store-brand light duty 75 foot hose.

That night when things cooled off she and the old man stood in the yard, -- both of them deaf in one ear and each with one bad eye -- they had the following conversation at a decibel range higher than the old Iron Butterfly concert they attended in the early 1970s.

"Give me six more inches," she yelled.

"I don't have six more inches," he said bad.

"Well, get the kinks out of it," she said.

"This is the most g-damn kinky thing I've ever seen," he said. "Wheredya buy this piece of crap?"

Meanwhile the families on either side had been enjoying their yards on this nice summer evening, but suddenly both sets of parents were cleaning up the toys and bicycles and herding the younguns inside.

"I am begging you, I just need six more inches," she said. "You wouldn't know a good six inches if you fell over it."

"What," he screamed, "I can't hear you at all, because all I can hear is an old crow squawking."

And when they aren't watering the lawn, the old married couple serves as the Welcome Wagon for Pine Haven Drive.

Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
Hmmm. Eleanorr, that is a racy little story you got there. ~r
Do you charge your neighbors an entertainment tax?

The neighbors went in to make popcorn and get cushions for their lawn chairs.
Couple old hippies. Gotta love 'em.
So, Eleanorr, did you hang around long enuf to find out if the old lady got her six?
i, also, would not know a good six inches if i fell over it.
i bet you were red in the face laughing.
Then the couple went down to Subway to get a footlong.
Haha! I am laughing out loud here!