Tomorrow I will go to the office and will be asked several times, "So, how was your weekend?" I typically respond, "Too short." But I know how disappointing that answer is for those who genuinely care about me, as well as those who are super curious about what a transwoman does that is different than what everybody else does. If you, dear reader, fall into one of those groups, read on. I love my life. I find few others who can honestly say that, and maybe hearing what I do will help others to be able to love life too.

When I got home Friday evening, I changed into more comfortable clothes and went to see Rosalinda, the mother of Alfred "Ariana" Dibble, the transwoman who was murdered three years ago just two miles from where I live. Rosalinda and I have become very close, and I adore her family. Several times she has mentioned that not only did she not know her son was living part-time as a woman, she regrets that she never saw him, or even a photo of him, dressed as Ariana. I have had a photo of Ariana for a few weeks now, and I am making commemorative buttons to give out at Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) with small photos of both Alfred and Ariana side-by-side by side.

I printed a copy of the original photo and one of this button, so she could know what Ariana looked like, as well as to be sure she was okay with me making these buttons. She was thrilled and commented that Ariana did a better job with her makeup than Rosalinda herself could do. Then she began to cry, and I hugged her, while simply allowing her talk about how she loved her son and how sad she is that justice was never served.  Once she got her composure again, she decided that she needed to introduce me to one of her sisters - Esther. I had met her mother last weekend, and although she spoke no English, and I speak Spanish only "un poco," she charmed me so much that I loved her immediately.  Ariana had a wonderful grandmother.

Esther was warm and quick to serve me a cup of tea and offer me virtually anything she had. I have always found the Hispanic community to be so very kind and hospitable, but this family surpasses all I have ever experienced by a mile. We sat in the kitchen, and Esther shared her sadness, along with many memories of her nephew, with me. Rosalinda and I were there for well over an hour.  When I got up to leave, Esther hugged and kissed me, thanking me for doing this for her nephew and the family, and she gave me a small "ship in a bottle" from her personal altar to the Virgin of Guadalupe. Her altar takes up an entire wall of her living room, and is magnificently beautiful. After taking Rosalinda back home, I went to Kinko's to print some TDOR flyers for a meeting I had Saturday morning.

I was the guest speaker at the Greater Lodi Area Democrats (GLAD) monthly meeting on Saturday morning. I spoke for about twenty minutes on what it's like being transgender, about founding the Stockton Transgender Alliance last February, about the TDOR service in November, and especially about how our straight allies can help us to eliminate violence against LGBT people. There were many excellent questions, and they actually voted to become co-sponsors of TDOR, even though I had not asked them to. 

After the meeting I came home and made a list (I am a compulsive list maker, no apologies) from several lists that I had not completed, just to see what all still needs to be done to prepare for TDOR. Then I changed clothes and drove up to Sacramento for the 30th Anniversary celebration at the Thelema Lodge where I am a member. The celebrations didn't start until 6 pm, so I went to The Merc, the most transgender friendly bar I have ever found anywhere. I had called a couple of friends, one of whom said she might be able to drop by for a visit, but she wasn't able to come after all, so I had a drink, and read from "Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence" for about an hour. I wanted so much to be a nun when I was young. Of course I learned rather quickly that it was never going to happen, but that didn't squelch my heart's desire to enter a women-only community. This book has me in tears virtually every time I pick it up and read a story or two. 

I began to think about a lesbian cousin of mine (she was never a nun) who lives in Portland with her partner of very many years. I hadn't talked to her in well over five years, so having another hour before I had to leave for the Lodge, I called her. She had not heard that I transitioned, and was not only accepting and supportive, she was genuinely happy for me and said she wished I could come over right now so she could give me a hug. We talked for over an hour and it was so incredibly beautiful to connect with one who was in all ways a dearly loved cousin and one I looked up to during all my school years and beyond.

The Lodge celebration was incredible, reuniting with friends I hadn't seen for what seemed like ages, perhaps having a bit too much wine, but soaking it up with artisan breads and an assortment of gourmet cheeses over the course of the evening. There was a slide show of highlights from the past thirty years, as well as a very special ritual/ceremony that left me breathless and feeling the presence of the divine mother in all her power and beauty. I was there until well past 11:00 and wasn't home and in bed until after midnight. Let me remind you that I'm too old for that! But it was worth it, connecting with dear sisters and planning an L.A. road trip for January to meet my supervising bishop.

This morning I went to church (I'm attending a Unitarian church these days). I wasn't going to go, but I have an elderly friend that needed a ride and I couldn't let him down. When I got to the church, I was surprised to see Zing sitting with a friend of hers, and she invited me to sit with them. Zing hasn't been to church since well before our separation and it was great to get to chat with her again, even though we see each other at least a couple of times each week. After church, my elderly friend and I went to lunch together, had a lovely chat, and I took him home.

This afternoon I cleaned out another closet, well, actually just three shelves of a closet with five. It took hours because there was a lot of paperwork I had to go through one page at a time, deciding what to keep and what to toss. I threw out a lot of stuff, and made a pile of sellable things in the living room. I knew Zing was coming over tonight and she had already told me she wanted to be first to go through anything I was getting rid of.

Just before 7:00, Zing arrived to watch Amazing Race and have a bowl of ice cream with me. She was delighted to get that pile of things and after the show, I helped her carry them to her car. We hugged and I kissed her good night just before she drove off for her house. When I got in the house and checked my email, a very dear friend that I have mentioned in a previous blog, but have not seen since high school, just added me as a friend in Facebook. I can't wait to start catching up with her, even though I know through a mutual friend that she already knows about my transition.

My room is again quiet. Once again I can tell the people in the office that my weekend was too short. I still have more work to do to get the TDOR ready, more closets to clean out, an apartment that really needs another thorough cleaning, and a list that got very little attention this weekend. Truly, a woman's work is never done.  As for me, life has never been better, and I couldn't be happier. I believe that miracles are happening to all of us every moment of every day. To open our eyes and to learn to see them, is to truly love life. I once heard that the purpose of life is to have a life of purpose. I'm discovering my life's purpose, one weekend at a time.