Five years ago, I quit my fulltime job and never looked back.  Never having to punching a 9 to 5 clock is something I'll never miss.  However, being an independently employed artist is never easy, and often times I've found myself working WAY beyond the 40 hour work week.  During these past five years-- I've co-founded a non-profit (www.chicaluna.com), built my business (www.sisteroutsider.biz), supported my partner in building his business, written a book (www.thesistahood.com), two short stories and a couple of screenplays, directed an off-Broadway show (www.pandorashow.com), and directed/produced a series of short films.  Coupled with that I've survived cancer, have an eight year marriage and an extended family of folks that my partner and I are responsible for in our lives. 

I have to admit, all of this just felt normal to me, but given everything  on my plate something had to suffer.  And yes, that person was me. 

            We need to raise money for Chica Luna, so I don't exercise. 

            I gotta direct that next commercial, I forget to eat a balanced diet. 

            Such and such cousin needs a place to live, come to my house.

            Such and such needs to meet, so you don't get time with Hubby.

            Such and such needs to be done, so you what you want but I don't write ro make my next film.

Before I knew it, I had gained twenty pounds and was not taking time for Elisha.  And all of sudden I wondered, why am I so tired?  Idiota, you're not taking care of you because you're taking care of everyone else but you.  Exactly why you got sick in the first place.  I started taking stock of the musings in my life, almost ready to be 40 and this needed to change as I plan on being around for a long time!  I was on my career path, I have justice seeking people and a wonderful community of family of friends in my life.  But, being tired didn't allow me to really enjoy and take the time to really appreciate the successes in my life.  I was still thinking about everything I still wanted to accomplish.

I have a confession, I've always been an overachiever-- often I had no other choice.  It was do or drown during my childhood with a single mother, an absentee father, two younger siblings and a working-class often poor income.  I can't remember a day when I wasn't responsible for something.  Even in colllege I supported myself through, and the activist in me was always organizing around some cause or taking care of someone in my family. After all, it's hard to be Latina (or any woman) who comes from such a communal culture and ever just think about yourself.  A concept that always sounded selfish and not very revolutionary.

Recently, I was speaking in Ohio at the College of Wooster and after my keynote I did a Q & A with the students.  One of the ladies int he audience asked, how do you do what you do and take care of yourself?  I was quiet for a second (which is long for me) but I was thinking to myself as I stood there how utterly tired and just worn I was feeling from all the travel over the past few months which allowed me to cross over seven states by planes, trains and automobiles.  How my feet were hurting, and it wasn't just from the past two months...it was had accumulated over the past five years.  I had the stomach stress to prove it.

Me, who Co-Founded an organization like Chica Luna that talks about being holistic, support and continual reflection was not practicing what she preached.  The funny thing is little resentments started peaking (well sometimes jumping) from my pores towards those closest to me.  I started feeling like some people didn't step up, and just allowed me to do things because Elisha will make sure it gets done.  I wasn't being me, I was tired and given that I lost my ovaries during my cancer debacle I never let myself adjust to going into VERY early menopause at then 35.  My body had change, my moods changed and I never stopped to let myself honor those changes.  Well, it was my 39th year of life and it was time to reflect and purge.

It was nobody's fault but my own. People can't read our minds.  And I needed to throw out all the guilt that came from not volunteering to do things, saying no, supporting myself first and taking a break from constant meetings after work in the evenings. It was too much, and I needed to stop.  I did some personal coaching with Nancy Marmalejo and more often than planning for my business I found myself using those times to reflect and meditate for myself. 

Over the last few month— I've been reflecting, purging, eating well and exercising. My challenge is to find out how to do that while still being busy with my work, family and activism.  It's all about balance. I'm being successful, but not in my overachiever do or die mentality. I take baby steps, and I reward myself for gradual milestones. 

Below are my Ten Steps to Holistic Creative Success.  Now remember, this is a work-in-progress which will be reflected on as I embrace a more balanced lifestyle. Some things you've probably heard before, I may just say them in a different way.  Of course, there are many more steps, I just like ten. More steps will follow.   I would never claim to be an expert, but I think it's important for us all to reflect on our lives and share when we get some epiphany that brings brings abundance with all her faces into our lives.

Elisha's Ten Steps to Creative Success, Holistically!

1.  Take care of you everyday.  Do something nice for yourself for at least thirty minutes daily (i.e. a walk, personal journaling, a bath, a partner massage, eat lunch by the water or whatever makes you happy).  I believe 10 minutes is not long enough, and often an hour is hard.

2. Eat Healthy.  There are lot's of things online about diet.  I'm no dietician, so I'm not going to suggest what's best.  But,I will say that if we put as much time into what we eat as we do with what we wear. Well, I believe that what we eat is as our health care.  Some great resources are www.behealthy.com and for those urban dwellers who want to figure out how to be healthy in the city check out www.bryanterry.com and www.eatgrub.com.

3.  Exercise at least three times a week for at least twenty minutes.  Especially you writers that spend large amounts of time on your culitos without getting up.  You must move, I promise it will inspire the muses.  Start with walking if that's easiest, join the local rec center and swim, buy some ZUMBA videos and dance away at home.  Find your exercise, don't complicate it at first, just develop the practice.  I've been sticking to my three times and creating practices I can do when traveling or during the holidays with family around I can walk or put on those salsa tapes for us to all dance. Don't try to keep up with your boyfriend or girlfriend that have continued to exercise.  Build at your pace.

4.  Don't ever compare yourself to someone else.  When I write it's so easy to say, "I've only written five pages this week and Maria Alvarez is on her 10th book.  If you show up to work (write, paint, play music, etc) than your pushing forward, don't put pressure on yourself to be anyone but you. Honor your own process.  Some people direct ten films a year. Some people write a book a year.  Other become overnight successes.  Some people have been waiting for ten years for that break.  Other take ten years to write that next novel, but it's a Pulitzer winner.  Some of us show up to the page everyday. Other three times a week.  I don't believe that a writer must actually write everyday. Some days I need creative inspiration that might be found by going to a really good Jazz Concert or dancing.

5, Have fun once at least once a  day, if not more. No matter how many deadlines you have.  How stressed you are about the client or gig you haven't been paid for yet.  You must find humor in life.  Laughing is so important and it opens the creative channels, I promise.  If you're not funny or don't have anyone around to make you laugh.  Pop in a funny movie or find a comedienne on You Tube.  Hint: Check out Rosie Perez do her groove thing on SOUL TRAIN. Guaranteed laughs. Do something out of the norm that you wouldn't normally do. Be Fearless.  I recently, took up Karaoke and I can't sing to save my life. But, it makes me laugh.  You should see me at home alone.  I also want to work towards entering an amateur Latin Dance Competition with my husband.  I'll get back to you about that one.

6. When in question about whether you should do something, say No.  You can always change your mind later.  I'm serious, for those that take on too much...say no.  Yell no, well not at someone but when you're alone.  Primal scream, NO!

7. Create a quota for your activism and what you do for free.  Some of us do too much, others of us do too little.  But, there are only so many hours in the day.  If I want to have a family or find my soulmate you must make time for those things to enter your life. I wasn't about to give up my activism, so I get it a specific amount of time like ten hours per month.  That includes, anything that you volunteer for or do for free.

8. Create time, by limiting when you're on the internet.  This includes any social networking, checking email and just browsing the web.  It's a time bandit.  You could be taking time for you, exercising, face time with real people, or fitting in that activism you've been wanting to do for the community.   After reading the Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris, I realized I need to work more than four hours per week, but I can work smart. I only check message before lunch and at 4PM. And, I set a personal limit to times I'm on the internet.  I've also applied this to phone messages.  It's very fair to get back to someone within twenty four hours.

9. Keep a Gratitude Journal.  The economy can be crazy for those working and even crazier if your in business for yourself awaiting that next gig, grant or payable.  It's easy to be grateful when you feel the abundance.  But, if you're an artist that's been in the business for ten years awaiting that great big break, be grateful that you're doing what you love. If you can be in the moment, the universe has a way of allowing what you need to enter. Stay focused on the fact that you want to be a lifelong artist, not a one minute wonder.

10. Love yourself first. Then Love everyone else.  If you make sure your tank is full, you will have so much more time and present energy for eveyone else.  Love yourself and the rest will follow.