elizabeth kirby

life in the plumper: chronicles of lard and laughter

elizabethkirby

elizabethkirby
Location
Thousand Oaks, California, USA
Birthday
May 06
Bio
Writer

MY RECENT POSTS

Elizabethkirby's Links

Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 17, 2012 7:41PM

When I Die: Two Things My Kids Want to Know

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      When I kick the bucket, my kids will ask two questions: 1) how much cash is left in the mattress for them and 2) who’s going to make artichoke soup when the old broad is pushing up geraniums?

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      &nRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 10, 2012 4:21PM

Sans Office

My feet are firmly planted in midair. Unresponsive to a desk, my continuous flight of fancy is fueled by Ravel waltzes and chocolate. When inspiration drags me from ennui to the easel, this is the view from my corner of the world. 

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When I need a n… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 26, 2011 8:18PM

Creme Brulee French Toast: A Kiss from My Kitchen

For those of  you hosting Easter Brunch or any brunch for that matter, here's a dish that will make you more loved than the damn bunny or the peeps. Cheers! 

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My mother was kicked out of college after having an affair with a married professor and sent toRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 7, 2010 12:21AM

The Legacy of a Brewmeister: How I Ended Up With Potatoes

In 1876, a fellow named Carl Conrad from a little hamlet in Bavaria developed the pasteurization of beer. That is, he figured out how to put beer in bottles. Terribly clever for his time. 

das wunderbar potato salad  

 

Because he was my great-great grandfather, his patent hangs in my kitchen next… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 30, 2010 9:08PM

The Oh-So-Merry Margarita

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The Oh-So-Merry Margarita

 

If getting juiced was good enough for Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire, just think about what the essence of carrot-raisin-beet-rutabaga-dirt clod could do for this old broad who is getting closer to the last tango?

 

On a slow Sunday morning when… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 25, 2010 12:48AM

Making a Badass Pudding

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I’m the result of too many Mai Tais and Nat King Cole. Or so I heard. My kooky, irreverent mother who danced the Times step on our linoleum floor and pounded out Chopin etudes more easily than round steak would casually tell her friends about the conditions surrounding my concepti… Read full post »