I found the following on a Buddhist discussion board, of all places.  Having owned many cats and dogs (and geckos, beta fishes, and now a horse...) I found this particularly amusing.

 I figured we could all use a laugh...

Cheers!

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HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL:

(1) Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth and allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

(2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa - cradle cat in right arm (to avoid the wound on your left arm) and repeat process.

(3) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from bedroom and throw away the wet pill.

(4) Take new pill, cradle cat in whichever arm is no longer bleeding.
Holding rear paws tightly, force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth - hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

(5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse, child or friend to help.

(6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get helper to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Using ruler as a slide, drop pill down cat's throat, hold mouth closed and massage throat vigorously.

(7) Bandage thigh. Retrieve cat from top of curtain rail, get another pill, make note to buy new ruler and new curtains. Carefully sweep up
broken figurines and vases.

(8) Wrap cat in large towel and get helper to lie on top of the cat with only head visible from below helper's armpit. Put pill in end of
drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow pill into cat's mouth with straw.

(9) Bandage helper's armpit and remove blood from carpet. Check pill label to be sure it's not harmful to humans. Drink one beer to take bad
taste of pill away.

(10) Retrieve cat from attic, get another pill, open a second beer.
Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave only head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with an elastic band, like a small slingshot.

(11) Find screwdriver and reattach door to cupboard. Drink beer and pour glass of scotch. Drink Scotch. Apply cold compress to cheek and check personal files for record of last tetanus shot. Apply some whisky to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another glass of scotch. Throw away
bloodstained tee-shirt and don clean one.

(12) Call fire department to retrieve the f--kin' cat from tree in front yard. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence to avoid hitting cat.
Take last pill from bottle.

(13) Tie the little ones paws together with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Get heavy-duty gardening gloves.
Push damn pill into cat's mouth followed by large piece of steak fillet.
Immediately turn cat vertically and pour glass of water down throat to wash everything down.

(14) Drink remainder of scotch and get helper to take you to emergency room. Wait quietly while doctor stitches fingers, thigh and forearms and removes pill fragments from right eye. Call furniture store to order new table.

(15) Arrange for ASPCA to pick up the "cat from hell" and call local pet shop to order tank, filter and goldfish.


HOW TO GIVE YOUR DOG A PILL:

(1) Wrap pill in bacon.

(2) Drop on floor.