Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".


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APRIL 12, 2011 10:02AM

J. Peterman Foodie Thoughts about Food Trucks

Rate: 49 Flag

San Francisco- Thursday, March 31st.

I stand on the metal stairs that slowly move towards the beckoning blue sky. I can smell the food from the gourmet food truck vendors from Off the Grid. They gather at the Civic Centre every Thursday to become an extravaganza of food or an all out hipster pig fest whichever one chooses.


"Oh for the love of God man tell me what they are cooking!"- Deconstructed J. Peterman




                                   Curbside Coffee


I smell coffee filling the air making me want to sip it slowly so I might possibly go back to the office, hunker down and work. They hand me a warm chocolate croissant and a steaming soup bowl of coffee. Luscious cups of hot Vietnamese coffee are sold only on Thursdays.

 "It will always be Burma to me Elaine." - J Peterson.





Natalie from distant Rhode Island and Denise from not so far away San Jose have come for the Sweet Potatoe Tater Tots. Alas the Vietnamese truck has "tottered out" and they have succumbed instead to an Asian Asade from Kung Fu Tacos. Seasons strips of succulent steak garnished with tender green cilantro and carrots topped with and Asian spicy salsa.

Natalie is staying at a hostel now and maybe never go back to Rhode Island after this.  Now that she has discovered you can find food links on the internet the world is her oyster.

"Beware the seductive lure of the yam yam"- J Peterman




                                                 The Rib Whip

Jennifer and Kurt from the East Bay are chowing down on ribs from a pork spa that are dripping with BBQ sauce. Just the smell alone will never let them forget about this day.

Kurt spoke softly, or was it just whispers of wind in my ears?


"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget those ribs--ahhh. And most of all, I will never, forget today. Just the two of us, and we surrendered to temptation. And it was pretty damn good!" - Deconstructed J Peterman






                      3 Sum Eats with Chef Ryan Scott


I smell the Deep fried Mac n Cheese egg rolls that are deconstructed (whatever that means) like little crazy chunks of love.  Rice Krispie Fried Chicken, Philly Cheese steak Dumplings and sandwiches the size of your fist make me wonder if Chef Ryan Scott is  really alive or just a master chef from times gone by.


"And if you're undead I will find out about that too!"- J. Peterman





                                                    Kung Fu Tacos


The tacos are a tad smaller than usual but I wanted to savor every lingering bite. The veggies were tenderly marinated with onions and shitake mushrooms.  The chicken was scrumptious and the roast duck quacked its way into my heart.  Topped with a tangy curdling Asian salsa made you wonder if it was too good to be true!


"I fear my orgasm from food has left me unable to move Elaine" -   Deconstructed J. Peterson





                                                     Oui Oui Macaron

Unfortunately I got there a little too late and some of the flavours were already gone. I managed to get a Red Velvet one to tease my taste buds. A soft crisp shell and moist chocolate chewy filling with tiny morsels of semi sweet chocolate on the shell.

Delicious unique flavors like: Salted Carmel and Almond Earl Grey Ganache lets me  dream of days of sitting by the sea sipping tea on a blanket with a Fabio look alike.


"Do you know Elaine what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement?"- J. Peterman





                                                        Off the Grid

Delightful, delicious yet definitely not a "hipster" function.

Sweet Judy!

I cannot detect one ounce of pretension in their eyes. This food congregation is hip with nothing but great music to soothe their souls. Huge lines and comforting food from all around the world without leaving the block  made these  iPad wonder childen and myself smile.




"Then, in the distance, I heard the trucks. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian cap toe oxfords. Sophisticated yet different; nothing to make a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men's whole and half sizes 7 through 13. Price: $135.00.

The food from Off the Grid? Priceless!"- J. Peterson deconstructed.



Text and Images: Linda Seccaspina 2011

"Creative" Quotes by J. Peterman from Seinfeld

Off The Grid on Facebook


                                      Short Shorts Panda Express Part 1


                                      Short Shorts Panda Express Part 2



                           Poetry Reading- TickTock by Susie Lindau


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I wish I had been there...I'm always a little afraid of food trucks because I'm not always sure about their cleanliness, but it's not like I can see into the kitchen of most restaurants. Sounds like a lot of inventive and yummy food.
YUM! I am definitely going to have to come to SF and hire you as my tour guide!!
Rugrat: you had no problem eating those macarons hahahah
Satori: I do find the offbeat hahah
I'd like to own the Imodium A-D truck.
Oh Leepin : I am so sure that would be a crowd pleaser hahaha
Whip me, baby - with ribs, that is.
LOL Matt: Yup a little different than yesterdays post hahah
Although they are not hip and trendy outside my hospital in Philly we have a small courtyard full of trucks, only the hospital people eat off of them, in our scrubs and such. So we come from the sterile environment and eat from people serving food without a sink. I have been doing it for over 10 yrs, everyone has their favorite truck and the fruit lady rules. Fun post, lots to learn here about food I have never heard of.
I gather these are the kind of food trucks the new show in the Food Network is about. I can't even imagine that kind of life.
Do they do mail order?
Nice juxtaposition of quotes with the photos and descriptions of that fabulous food.
Rita: Canadians grew up with french fry trucks. These are amazing and some cities try to shut them down. Most of these trucks now are run by gourmet chefs trying to get their own business going. I know I live next door to one.
Peggy: No french fry trucks here and no one knows what a poutine is hahaha

Steve: I will mail ya some macarons.. That should get there safely and all nice and crumbly hahah
Linda thank you soooo much for reading my poem!! I really appreciate it!!! You made my whole week!!!
My mouth is watering after reading your wonderful post! All that food and only one stomach just doesn't seem fair.....
The Petermann quotes are hilarious, thanks for the memories. I haven't been down to those food trucks, we tend to get stuck over on Clement or the Embarcadero for little food places. I am going to have to insist we try this fantastic food plaza at the Civic Center on the next visit.
Susie.. Loved your poem and maybe we should be like cows? Two stomachs??:)
Thanks for the array of choices, Linda. That's one thing one doesn't see in Montreal. No food sold out of trucks! Everything seems to be so sterile and lacks the rock and roll of daily living - in a sense.

Yum! And I loved the smiles on the fortune cookie short!
Fusun: When I lived in Quebec they were all over.. How sad.
I know outside la Ville de Montreal you will find them:(

Zanelle: ya got Steves smile did ya not? hahaha
Yum! And I loved the smiles on the fortune cookie short!
Jon: I am a brisket kind of gal hahah
First time in my life I've ever been horny reading about food!

I've always avoided the Express Panda, their food always looks over-fried and over-gooey. Plus, none of it is made out of Panda, what kinda deal is that?

Living in one of those burghs that have effectively banned food trucks, I am so jealous. In any events, Asian tacos will soon be added to my home dining menu. What a great use for leftovers!
Scanner: then hell I did my job:)

Another Steve : I heard about the banning of trucks in your area.. This mex/asian stuff is to die for.
What got my attention is the outdoor escalator.
Where is that?
This just made me really hungry. YUUMMM!
XJS: Civic Centre: SF coming up from Bart and Munie
Rei: When I wrote this I had to pop in a gluten free pancake in the toaster hahaha and I was so hungry:)
I'm a big fan of pushcart food. I had the best pad thai ever from a pushcart in Madison, Wisconsin. what a fun post, Linda.
Sarah: Pad thai is my fave food group hahah
Ahhhhh.....pork spa......

Can't see vids at work but will have to check them out at home.

What a fun post, Linda! I'm headed straight to as many of those places as I can take!
Wow Linda, great juxtaposition of Peterman quotes and your epicurean adventures. This was such a fun piece!
Outside: If you go to their Facebook page on the link I provided they will tell you where they are every day.
hayley: that was one of my fave characters on Seinfeld.:)
How fun! There was a San Jose food truck festival a couple weeks ago, but I heard the crowds were so huge the trucks ran out of food, and then the nearby restaurants were overcrowded and also started running out of food!

The J. Peterman quotes are hilarious. So many Seinfeld jokes are still burned into my memory.
Grace : they start running our of food there too.
the line ups are hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Linda, I'm positively quivering here. Chef Ryan Scott has covered all my favorite food groups, cheese, meat and hot oil. Foodgasms, oh yeah! Is he single?

No offense but I think you forgot to add the American ending to your fortune. "You would be wise not to seek too much from others at this time... in the asylum." Doesn't it make more sense that way?
Bleue.. yes mam you are so right..
Chef Ryan Scott OMG I did not even cover half of what he does. He has a Kitchen sink cookie I hear is to die for and HOMEMADE TWINKIES.
You are killing me with nostalgia, Linda. I immediately recognized that BART escalator. I would love, love, love all that street food. Thank God I'm not a germophobe. lol

J. Peterman rules! And if you are unread I will find out about that, too! Heheheh! Food is such a wonderful thing on this of the most amazing experiences we have as sad we aren't better sharers...there's plenty for everyone...great post, Linda...xox
Jeez Linda, I just started a diet yesterday. Thanks a lot! Your delicious descriptions nearly drove me to distraction, "Seasons strips of succulent steak garnished with tender green cilantro and carrots topped with and Asian spicy salsa." Hmmm, time to go make my spinach smoothie.
We are so lucky in to have Off the Grid, aren't we? Nice post.
I totally loved all the foodie stuff!!!! Steve is a cutie too!
I confess to be a food truck virgin.
Clever mixings on this piece...hope you had fun out there, eating around the world all on one block. : )
Did I not witness Rugrat eating donuts from a box that had sat on the street and was rained on? However, I'm with you Steve, I'm a little wary of food trucks. Does look good, but that Panda Express food looks even better!
ps -- I love today's photo with that smile of yours....
There is a lot of food in this video. And it all looks good.
Too funny!

My favorite J. Peterman/Seinfeld moment is when Elaine was sent to live in a cave in North Africa because she was insufficiently moved by "The English Patient."

Moe Murph
Lezlie: Well I am no germaphobe.. Rugrat is but Yserba just reminded me how he ate douts out of a damn box in the rain haha

Robin.. yes there is..:)
Bluestocking.. OMG now that smoothie should be a blog in tiself hahaha

Linda: we are so lucky to have everything here..:)
Sheila: he tries hahaha

JT: I did not eat all that I talked to a lot of people.. MY butt already has an extra suitcase hahahaha

Yserba. I am so going to remind him he at that donut out of a box we had no idea where it came from hahaha Clean kitchens my ass

Victoria: Yes it was..:)
Moe: Then I would be sent to the caves too. I HATED The Enlgish patient and LOVED that episode hahaha
Sheila: he tries hahaha

JT: I did not eat all that I talked to a lot of people.. MY butt already has an extra suitcase hahahaha

Yserba. I am so going to remind him he at that donut out of a box we had no idea where it came from hahaha Clean kitchens my ass

Victoria: Yes it was..:)
Moe: Then I would be sent to the caves too. I HATED The English patient and LOVED that episode hahaha
I just got home and am trying to drag a bottle of vodka out from the back of the cupboard. Its like 6 yrs old because no one drinks. It is for my blog tomorrow.. can anyone hlep? hahah
Oh yum! Just returned from a marvelous lunch that makes me wish I wish I would/could cook! It looked as good as it tasted and had a carrot cake that even now makes my mouth water just to think about. This was a totally delicious blog - food - truly good food, is one of life's great joys.
moisttowellette. .. you are telling me.
Marsha: well your sons get his love of food from you hahaha
I am having food truck envy. Darn the restrictive laws in Charlotte that make it nigh on to impossible for people to find legal places to park them!
Sigh. jealousing. Golden Zuma.
Librarienne: Sometimes I think they put in these laws so the big restaurants who pay a fortune in taxes do not suffer.:(

Xenon: Should have been there!!!
Where do you find time? Oh and I agree with you and sarah pad thai is itms own foo group. I could eat it 24/7. R
Hugs me.. i am always looking for things and people. I guess I ahve always been like this.
You have made me hungry and you've made me miss San Francisco. Both are easy to do, of course. SIGH.
You have brought back such memories for me! I am dedicating a post to your post! Rated with many Blessings.
This was so good, J. Peterman was one of my favorite characters. -R-
Eva.. wish you were here too..:)
George: how sweet you are
Christine.. he was great on DWTS too
Jimmy likes gourmet skewers. (r)
Bellwether: You can I could have done some damage had you been here hahaha
Stacey: Jimmy is right..:)
Tappin tune Mr Fett..:)
Yummers, Linda. Particularly that taco.
Various.. porn gets 1200 hits and 26 facebook likes
food gets 400 odd hits and 2 facebook likes.
Are we in the wrong business>? :LOL
OOPS various..
I meant to say
1212 for porn and
473 for food hahaha
Linda! Was that honey-walnut shrimp you were having? That is the only thing I ever get at Panda Express; it is the bomb. Too bad we only have taco vans, not even trucks, here in unsophisticated Cow Town. But if you know which ones to go to, some of them also sell drugs.
yes mam margaret.. I love that stuff..
you get drugs off of trucks?
This was a fun one. And your use of Petermen quotes? Genius! Of course I would like this one! Love, Schmoopie!
I should not have read this before breakfast! Now, my bowl of oatmeal seems pretty meager, and your post has got me yearning for a "hipster pig fest" for sure.
Schmoopie: of all people I knew you would like this one hahah
Jerry: I knew better to approach this blog today with breakfast ion hand haha
You know, our OS spammers are spamming us with the wrong products. Not Uggs. Sweet potato tater tots and soup bowls of delicious coffee. They'd have me with that. Are you reading this fgggfffhyggg?
I think that food trucks are awesome in a way that they transform their trucks into something like that. I mean that is really hard to do. You need to add lots of parts and accessories to your truck like the carpet, floor mats and some cargo carriers. But they really did a good job on their truck.