I was born in 1951 and sex was a pretty taboo subject in those days. In fact I heard my grandmother tell my very sick mother not to worry if she could only have limited sex. Grammy kept repeating that sex was only for “baby making” anyways. There was no sexual education in High School as the school board frowned upon it, and health movies issued very little on the subject. The only sexual information I had when I got married at 21 was from my father’s girlie magazines he hid in his bottom drawer.
Being petrified of the pain they kept mentioning when the hymen was broken; I remained a virgin until I married. The first few months of married life was brutal and our relationship deteriorated after that. There were no fireworks, no passion, just fear and an uncooperative husband.
For years after the marriage ended I faked orgasms and not one of my partners knew. I thought I was the only one when in reality sixty percent of women fake it. Only twenty five percent of men have done it and I imagine it is pretty easy to realize when a man fakes.
Or is it?
Women on the other hand can be brilliant actresses like Meryl Streep, to quote Jerry Seinfeld, and feel they must put on a show. They do not want their partner to feel they are not the perfect lover or know that they are insecure.
So do you fake orgasms in your relationships? How easy it is to create an Academy Award experience?
Here are some suggestions from the web if you care to fake:
10. Make sure you keep your eyes closed.
9. Make an occasional gasp.
8. Panting helps.
7. Grab the sheets or pillows.
6. Master the moaning.
5. Let your voice trail off if talking
4. Allow your muscles to spasm.
3. Grab and moan.
2. Let him know.
1. At the end…Tell him how good it was!
I believe that would be probably throwing an occasional,
I was extremely lucky as some women never really achieve this "higher level". When the film “When Harry Met Sally” came out with Meg Ryan faking an orgasm in a deli I think it really hit home with a lot of people. I know I posed myself questions about why I was acting like a dog and pony show.
A 2004 study of 16,000 Americans, published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, found that people who are happy tend to be the ones having a great sex life. In fact the study found out that some women who finally experience an orgasm relate it to getting a huge raise at work.
If you find yourself in this position there is hope - I promise you. Finding the right partner and discussing things is a great first step to finding that Holy Grail called an orgasm. Of course we are not talking about the younger generation as they seem to have it all down pat as usual. I am just talking about the people of my generation.
I found this quote online and it says everything:
"Women are a little slower to come to action and some men don't know how to please a woman so my suggestion is:"
"It's your genitals, OWN them"
Image and text : Linda Seccaspina