"You are 16 going on 17
Baby it's time to think."
This week "country" singer Courtney Stodden married actor Doug Hutchison in Las Vegas. The happy couple signed their marriage certificate with the ages of 16 and 51 respectively. Hutchison played Dharma flunky Horace Goodspeed on Lost and Eugene Victor Tooms, the liver-eating guy from The X-files. Stodden was a contestant in the Miss Teen Washington USA pageant and was also signed to Hutchison’s production company called Dark Water. One has to wonder what age group she was assigned to or was she merely there for summer camp.
After Stodden’s mother Krista upgraded her daughter’s torso she signed the written consent forms for them to legally marry. The time machine from Lost was not available for use so parental consent was needed. Of course looking at the picture of Stodden one might think she is older than 16. The invention of printers has really facilitated the possibility of producing birth certificates that can make you 16 as many times as you want through life.
When I was 16 I worked at a costume restoration place for an opera company in Montreal. My boss was in his 50’s and used to specifically hire young girls looking for their first job. He thought that they might do anything to stay employed, and yes, even sleep with him. I had finished fashion design school and was eager to get started doing anything in my field. He hired me immediately and told me to report for work the next day.
As soon as I got there I was assigned to rip out seams of some tapestry dresses and he left me alone. Mid morning I was told he needed some fabric upstairs and made me go up the rickety stairs while he looked up my dress as I climbed. I immediately knew what was going on and came back down quickly claiming vertigo.
In the afternoon I watched him hire another employee and he told her to start right away. She was then told to climb the same stairs and I watched him salivate as she went up. Needless to say I told her after work what the man was up to and we vowed to fight this together.
The next day he started all over again and then he playfully attempted to fondle us. That was all I needed to quit and I quickly asked for my pay. He gave me 15 dollars, three subway tickets and I learned my first lesson about dirty old men.
"You are 16 going on 17
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads and rogues and cads
Will offer you fruit and wine!”
I hate to label people but Doug Hutchison in my view is nothing but a dirty old man. In reality he does not seem to be venturing much outside the box of creepiness similar to the roles he plays.
One has to ask themselves which individual is the smarter one of this duo? I do believe young girls are more mature in their bodies, and in their minds. Please remember to wear a condom Doug because women always seem to win in divorce court. Honestly, I smell a huge PR stunt or better yet a new reality show for the E! Channel.
I sit here and am furious that gay marriage is still banned because the law claims it violates some issue of sanctity, yet if you are old enough to bleed you are old enough to breed. It just does not make sense! If she was really looking for a sugar daddy did she not realize that Hugh Hefner is now available? If you are going to do something completely stupid at least go for the gold.
The couple issued a statement which said:
“We're aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial," the couple said through their spokeswoman.
"But we're very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless."
Oh God, where have we heard that before?
" I am 16 going on 17
I know that I'm naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet
And willingly I believe."
Text: Linda Seccaspina 2011
Images: Gooogle/ AP
Article first published as 51 Year Old Lost Star Doug Hutchison Marries His Sweet 16 on Technorati.TIP:
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Comments
She does have a nice rack.
Whatever.
You write pretty well, for being friends to my brother Tink.
Rated.
Cause I've been told it's the thing to do around here.
I'd love to see the look in their eyes when they open it!
Miguela: She looks like she has been taken out of the barn a few times
CrankyPuss: Tink is our beloved mayor of OS.. We LOVES da Tink
OE:; even if it was done legally someone has to say WTH?? Would you allow your daughter to marry this man?
I bet Neilpaul tries to beat you to the punch..:)
r
Zanelle: I think she likes what he can do for her. I wonder id she is going to become "16 and pregnant"??:)
Susie: yup she is flaunting all that money can buy..:)
Oh yeahm marrying 51 year old men!! PFFFT!! :D
♥R
Divorced Pauline: NO I missed it and now must youtube it. If those boobs are real then mine are not going south. Is there such a thing as Christian Porn now??:)
Bellwether: All together now, "For shame!!!"
Larry: Bet her pancakes are flat unless she has help.
Walter: She was 13 right? I remember Wynona R playing her in the film.
Tink: She;s not 16 hahaha
Fusun: I am too. Saw it with my grandmother and she could not sing.. It was awful as she sang along.:)
mary: It is just appalling.
I like LADIES!!
This broad looks like a slut, something I would NEVER EVER even approach.
Is this a publicity stunt?
The broad looks like she has no clue about real life and is a manufactured bimbo.
I'm having a tooth pulled and a root canal done today.
It will be more fun that being with this POS.
Darla- I bet E! channel jumps on this fast.
Joisy: So are mine and those are fake fake fake hahaha
rated with love
As for "Decisions about plastic surgery are between a woman and her doctor. As it should be."
Maybe so, and I don't see those breasts as obviously fake or real myself, but anything stuck out for public view is free for commenting on by the public...and those who do go for cosmetic plastic surgery anywhere on their body ought to be aware that comments will happen, forevermore.
Greenheron: Hefner is all R Crumb
Schmoopie: and this is the good video hahaha
Just Thinking: I agree it is between you and your doctor.. but quit flaunting it.
Leon: Her mother was 16 in 1978
Peggy: Bizarro world
Damon.. :) the Wire??
Maybe they will talk about MTV shows??:)
Yes keep it kosher.:)
Noah: She will be on the shoe "16 and pregnant" before you know it
Is Bristol Palin's situation better or worse than this one? Why didn't she marry Levi?
As for Bristol: There is about 200 blogs I would not even waste my time on. At least they were in age range.
The Mother is not all there to allow this and to quote John Locke from Lost..
"Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain."
*Linda bangs her head on the table*
Two caveats--she should finish her education and she should not have any children until she's at least 20.
Ms. Stodden is a sexually precocious teen, or at least that's what she seems. If she and her mother made this choice together, maybe it's the right one for her. As the mother of an 8-year/old girl, I might say "that ain't happening over here when my kid's that age", but how do I know what her life will be like at 16. I struggle to guide her, but she is on her own journey.
I don't know, I guess I'm just not in a judging mood today.
And as for her - she's gonna put her back out with that stick-em-in-your-face pose.
I concur with those who suspect a publicity stunt (tho a peculiar and creepy one), cuz normally would word get out about the marriage of two grade Z 'celebrities'?
I don't go below 25.
Even if it was a good thing you would make her wait.
I believe the words you might say are:
"that ain't happening over here when my kid's that age" :)
Myriad : I do too.. It bothers me that this story is everywhere now and what is some other 16 year old reads this and thinks its okay? That is what bother me. Even though I respect people's decisions there is something wrong here. It smells.
Man- on Mars- one word my man. Respect.:)
As for Hef, she would have had to wait two years, he may be a dirty old man but at least he only goes after women who are old enough to vote.
I wonder if Hutchison will have to sign her report cards and can he take her to the senior prom, or vice versa?
I got a million of these.
The one thing I realized as a teen, and still realize now as an attorney is this, and its not a general rule, but it does happen. Some parents recognize the fast-maturation patterns in their daughters and they protect them. The daughters have a good father figure and good activities and are interested in school, and they can grow up to become very, very successful.
On the other hand, if they lack this support, they will try to grow up too fast and many older men will take advantage of them by giving them the "adult relationship" that many of these girls may think they want. Years later, when they are totally burned out, they may have serious regrets about having started life too early. Sometimes, they look used up, have alot of kids, have been around the block in terms of drugs and marriages and the like. Its sad.
On the other hand, I also know many women who matured very fast at that age and got married and had kids, right out of high school, and they are still married, very happy, and lead very happy and wholesome lives. But again, this has to do with how supportive their families were.
A mother who gets her daughter breast augmentation surgery and lets her parade around like that, may not be the most supportive parent.
Many folks say "Oh, our gparents got married young." Yeah, well, it was a different world back then. And this girl looks like she's growing up to be a baywatch model, way too early. That's my impression.
R
Something does seem wierd about the whole thing, they just don't look right together, and he looks like he's ready to drool in that wedding photo. But to each their own!
Lezlie
I think those who say this is a publicity stunt to shore up careers are right. She looks like she's tired of pole dancing and wants to catch the eye of some producer. With her looks, it's most likely to be a porn producer.
Okay, maybe that last was sour grapes...
Seriously, we don't really know whether this marriage has a sound foundation. All we know is that it is eccentric. It probably won't work -- especially if he is still alive when she reaches her 40s, a dangerous age -- but then it will be just another marriage that fails. What else is new? Some marriages are over so quickly that they might as well have been flings.
I sense that some of the women commenters here are bothered about this marriage because it seems impossible to compete with Lolita in the mating game. Not to worry. Most men are smart enough not to marry Lolita.
That is hilarious.
I came back to say maybe those parents thought their daughter was Trouble and better off to have her married, and not be legally responsibility for her any longer....
In your particular story about your boss sending young woman up and downstairs so he can look up their skirts. While I am sorry for you to have to put up with that, you were able to quit. This guy has to live the rest of his life as himself and that has to suck.
Ocular: I doubt she is in school and you are right about Hef!
RE0059: They are all growing up way too fast. It scares me. Who do we blame for it? TV? Parents that are not like the old days?
My grandparents were horrified at The Beatles.. I cannot even imagine this.
BSB: I so agree with you and we are both very liberal minded. It is just sad.
Little Willie: If you have never seen that episode it is right up there with the people that lived under the floor.
petty theft. Go all the way! ahh nooo hahahBut I get what you mean
Lezlie: I so had that phrase in mind and I deleted the phrase being 'rode out of the barn many times" . Thank you for saying what I felt hahaha
Maureen: Someon wrote about pole dancing yesterday.. Was it Con Chapman? How the stripper took her pole everywhere she went??:)
Arthur: Would she stay with him until he was 79? You are right that us older women feel we can not compete with these Lolitas at all.
Bellemeade: I thought the song fit well.
Beth: I have to try and google that interview.. MY interest is peeked.:)
Chuck: Viagra? Now why didn't they think of that?
Sheila: Maybe Barbie isn't plastic either?
Marsha: you know me.. but this is insane.
Rei: She is online everywhere.. ask her hahaha
Oryoki: I agree she had better get crackin>:)
Don't panic though, I won't crack the mirrors and have to be invited into the house. The implants are an acquired taste but I promise her I won't swallow.......
"Press send FRed(tm) and put away that garlic."
The fact that you clambered down that ladder claiming vertigo shows quick thinking and self respect, Linda. Many young and stupid ones, would have cow-towed to the perversion.
Also, thanks for the earworm from my favorite musical...
-R-
When I was exactly her age, a friend of mine's Dad (my friend was 18) married a 16 year old girl with her parents full blessings. He had to call her Mom. Pa Alterman was in fact a dirty old man.... like me... now.
R
Creekend: Bad Fred! bend over and take on for the team
Scarlett: I knew what was going on.. bad education but did have street smarts
Ernesto: Now that was descriptive!
Geezer Chick: I agree but this is a tad ose as they say in french
Heart adn String.. 9 years here and I a dirty old woman?
Christina: I so agree..
Antoinette: Now there's my girl
Helevtica: I agree
Lady Miko: Now Boo wold be proud of your answer:)
Trig: Another descriptive comment full of adjectives..:)
I feel for your friend. I dont think I could have done it.
jack heart: you just wait: Maybe Mark Burnett will grab ahold of it
Steve: Do they still make geritol?
Looking forward to their morning conversation:
HIM: Where's my arthritis medicine?
HER: It's in my Hello Kitty bag.
Of course, this also reminds me of the old joke:
Why do rock stars marry supermodels?
Because they can.
I don't understand what thoughts were going through her mother's mind. Even if she told me, I wouldn't understand. WTF big time! Write this date down, on June 22, 2011 Linda S. managed to finally surprise Bleue.
r
Abrawang- They have a splitsville section???
Cyril: Gnomes are never fake:)
Ink: I wish you would find out how old she is..:) Seems like you have the inside edge..
Thoth: Susie had it at hello
PS I did not read your post.
Is it a publicity stunt? Probably.
Is it possible for two people of such varying age to fall in love? Yes.