Linda Seccaspina

The Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee

Linda Seccaspina

Linda Seccaspina
July 24
Formerly called The Maiden of Death by Derek Raymaker Xpress Magazine
When you wish upon a star
Linda's column can now be read in The Humm newspaper and online. Also pick up an issue of Screamin Mamas magazine from Florida for a peak at some of my writing.>> My idol is former mentor and OPRAH senior associate producer Elizabeth Coady. Taskmaster extraordinaire but learned so much from her, and if I could be 1/8 as talented as her I 'd be laughing.>>>>> My books "Menopausal Woman From the Corn" "Cowansville High Misremembered" "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities" and "Cancer Calls Collect" now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle >>>>>>>All covers also done by Diana Ani Stokely GRAFIX to go.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Cowansville High School Misremembered" book is now out as a fundraiser for the school._______________________ ___________________ Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee. Linda Seccaspina was born in Cowansville Quebec about the same time the wheel was invented. _____________________________________ She used to own clothing stores in Ottawa and Toronto Ontario Canada from 1974-1996 called Flash Cadilac, Savannah Devilles, Nightmares and Flaming Groovies. _____________________________________ Her brain tries to writes stories about her menopausal life and a host of other things she gets annoyed at. _____________________________________ She has two sons, Schuyleur and one that does not want his name mentioned. She has a grandson called Romeo who is a Boston Terrier and a grandaughter Bella who is a french bulldog. _____________________________________ Linda loves people quite plain and simple and loves to hug.. Yes, she is one of "those".


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JANUARY 11, 2013 9:30AM

Cancer Always Calls Collect - Part 5 - One Way Trip to Mars

Rate: 14 Flag
Last night I looked at a bag on the floor and knew if it was storming outside in the morning I couldn't do my laundry. A kind soul had volunteered to take me but I  feel I am not in control. He now lies in the hospital 40 miles away and I cannot visit as a fear of hospitals grabbed my soul years ago. When any member of my family went into a medical establishment they never came out. No one was in control and suddenly I felt helpless living this reality nightmare and went to bed. I have always hated being alone, fearing the unknown and pile pillows around me for protection. At almost 62 I still fear the silence and dark and will never be in control of that feeling.

I dream I am in a strange house and a roast beef cooks slowly in the oven. Apparently it is my new home and an unknown neighbour has equipped it with everything I need. The dream goes on endlessly and I constantly smell the burning roast in the oven unable to remove it. Suddenly I find myself in an old castle that acts as a theme park watching a movie that never ends. I can still smell the roast and everyone seems oblivious to how I am feeling. Running to a large wooden door I attempt to escape and a hand grabs me and throws me to the ground. Screaming I tell them I recently had a stroke and need to be careful. As the ugly face peers at me and laughs the terror and violence does not stop and I realize my mind trauma will go on forever now being immortal in my dream.
The morning light appears through the window and I realize he is not lying in his bed down the hall. Even though he has had no choice of anything the past few days he is handling things a lot better than myself. Some days he feels life is fading away yet he continues to hold on still refusing to pass the torch to his offspring. Mark Twain once wrote that he had been dead for millions of years before he was born and it never inconvenienced him a bit, so why does one still feel the need to be in complete control when none of us will live forever.
Being afraid of death makes some behave irrationally and he feels is unable to share his power and control until he can renew his body once again. But will that happen and can anyone live happily with the inevitability of death? Either way, who wants immortality? I know I didn't in the dream and felt the endless fear.
There is no clear cutoff date when we feel life fading away so we must prepare as in the end we have to make peace with the inevitable. Would people who suffer from Alzheimer or Dementia want to be in a suspended state of "living"? Were they able to control anything before their minds succumbed to stagnation? I have a few years left and would not want immortality, so I let go of all my worldly processions years ago. Even though I had no control over the situation it became the best thing I did in life.
Having faced death several times I know there is nothing to be afraid of so why was I filled with fear in the dream? If you feel you have accomplished your goals that should be enough. The immortality of the individual can ensure the death of the species, so we should let go and take that one way trip without the baggage.
When I woke I immediately felt I had no control over the upcoming day. Looking  in the mirror I saw a resemblance of the very troll that was trying to kill me in my dream. I put my feet firmly on the floor and decided to live in the only moment of time which I would have any control over which is now.
Because you just have to get up and try, try, try.

Cancer Always Calls Collect- Part 4- Am I An Adjective or a Noun?


Cancer Always Calls Collect- Part 3- Emotional Crowded House


Cancer Always Calls Collect - Part 2 - Dear Santa


Cancer Always Calls Collect-Part 1






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I had meant to type worldly pocessions and then when my friend geezerchick read it she thought the typo of world processions was much better. I agree.. the mind won in this instance.
Yes, just get up and try. We can only do the best we can. Hang in there and keep writing. Big giant Linda sized HUGGGGGGGGGG!
I haven't accomplished all my goals, by far, but death doesn't scare me. As you, I have died several times and was even at my own funeral once, hovering overhead. It might sound spooky, but it was just as natural as anything I've ever done.
Thanks Kevin and Scanner. Love you much
it's such a rollercoaster ride...and not the fun kind. Keep your chin up and know that you are doing all you can do. Miss you much!
I just read all five parts of this story and as I read I wondered if I would ever have the grace and kindness to take care of my ex, should his wife who he replaced me with not be around. I have no answer and I pray to God I'll never have to be asked.

Indifference to death, which I possess, is not really a valuable quality, if you think about it. The older I got I have developed a special kind of fear of death: worry about loved ones. When I die they will hurt, I won't. I am going to Heaven! R
Sending much love and hugs to you.
Lezlie.. I read an article online about this issue and it was 50 50. I never ever thought this would happen but it did.
Thoth you are so right.. we will not be hurting
Thanks Christine
I just went and read all parts. Your a better woman than I Linda.
You are one special lady, Linda. R
trilogy and gerald.. I am not special- I just cannot let anyone go through this alone. Seen it too many times and hope this is the last person I have to do this for.Cancer needs a cure.
It is me sending you hugssss, Linda...the loss of control is hugely scary and anxious-making. It comes and goes, the fear does. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sad about what you're going through. But I know you have the strength of spirit to get through it. Still, of course that doesn't mean it's easy. I hate that you - or anyone - have/has to be in this kind of situation.

Fear of death is a strange thing, so complicated. I have days where I feel like that Mark Twain quote, and other days where I'm totally terrified of the idea of having to die one day. I've heard it said that this is part of what makes us human, knowing we won't live forever. Life would be different and maybe less easy to appreciate if we were immortal, or if we didn't know what death was.

Sending thoughts and prayers of peace and healing - and HUGGGGS your way.
Emily and Alysa..
I write these pieces for relief some days as this is a very difficult task I have taken on. Even if I have done this many times before each time is different.

Some say I may write these for attention but I don't. I write these for others that are going through this on cancer boards and those that are caretakers. I just want to tell them that they are not alone. For when you do a job like this that is how you feel as you are generally the last person people think about.
Hugs to you for what you are doing and how you are handling it. I hope you get a few literal hugs today, too, after that dream. Scary.

I contemplate death a lot, part of my depression. I wonder if we ever really accomplish all of our goals. To be alive is to be looking to the future and finding new adventures. My fear of death is knowing that there will always be something new on my list that won't get done. It's inevitable and sad.
Oh. I do know about that fear of hospitals. Have managed to face it a few times during the last decade or so because I had no choice. You do what must be done. I can see that you know that. I think it is time to send another one of those HUGGGGGs back to you!
Phyllis and Eva.. been a very long day and thank goodness other can relate... love you much and yes I needed the hugs
When you get knocked down, you just gotta pick yourself up and go for the gold again.
old new lefty.. and I find myself doing it every single day now
you've got soul

you keep writing I'll/\we'll keep listening
jp.. dont have much else these days:)
Just caught up on these 5 parts -- regardless of your thoughts on it, it does take a special human to be willing to set aside all the past abuse and hurt and step up to care for the man now that he's alone and needy.

How are things now?

Finally coming back here to OS after a long hiatus....