Enlightened Belle

Enlightened Belle
Hythe, Kent, United Kingdom
August 29
Born and raised in Virginia. BA in Romance Languages from the University of Virginia 1976 and MA in Spanish from Universidad de Salamanca in 1978. Taught school in the States and for my sins, I married a British civil servant, no less. After more than twenty years of living in the UK and speaking Spanish, French and Italian for lazy Brits who can't, I'm hoping to go home for good later this year. Hey, I live in Kent, where two other Virginia girls, Pocahontas and Nancy Astor, are buried. I don't intend on being the third. Besides, I'm a left-wing Obama supporter. I beling in the Socialist Democratic Atheist Republic of the United States of America.


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APRIL 16, 2009 7:07AM

A Word on Secession for Teabaggers Everywhere

Rate: 3 Flag

A few months ago, a friend of mine sent me this by e-mail.

In view of the highly-charged atmosphere redolent these days amongst our friends on the right, stoked persuasively by the likes of Messrs Limbaugh and Beck and Ms Malkin, maybe our approach to their calls for 'secession' should be this:-

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue Stateswith us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California. Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Indiana,Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida and all of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of our new country: New America.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma, much of the wide open spaces where Buffalo once roamed and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Enron.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make your fellow red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of singlemoms.

Please be aware that New America will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in the Bush/McCain Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 per cent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 per cent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 per cent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 per cent of America's quality wines(you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 per cent of all cheese, 90 per cent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, Princeton, the University of Chicago, and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 per cent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 per cent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 per cent of the tornadoes, 90 per cent of the hurricanes, 99 per cent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 per cent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you.

Additionally, 38 per cent of those in the Red States believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 per cent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 per cent say that evolution is only a theory, 53per cent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 per cent of you crazy people believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that crummy weed they grow in Mexico .

Peace out,

Blue States

I'd actually add to that: 'Don't let the door hit your collective asses on the way out and, by the way, you'll need a VISA to enter New America ... and that's not a credit card.'

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On behalf of all the citizens of the Sovereign State of Georgia, and the rest of the South, we accept your proposal. Please go, and hurry. Take Obama with you and create a socialist paradise, like the one they have in Europe...you know that place that can't defend itself without American firepower?
Go, because we don't want you...not because you are personally fat and ugly (hardly a belle), no, we can overlook even that, but because you want a country where killing babies is celebrated while letting child molesters and murderers live is also celebrated. Because you believe you have the right to take as much of another person's income as you please through government power. Because you want to force my child to be brainwashed with revisionist history as he sits in class next to your unwashen, disrespectful, foulmouthed brat. Because your kind of socialsim creates inner cities, ghettos, and open borders while our capitalism creates thriving business and neighborhoods. Because your Hollywood culture gave us Brittney Spears, while our produced Billy Graham. Because you cannot achieve on your own and must have 'affirmitive action' and 'welfare' to make it in life. Because you want to ride in the wagon while we push it. Because you don't believe in God, but hate Him anyway. Because you really think you evolved from lower life forms, and that is why you will spread you legs, or bend over, for any dog. Because you think men were born to suck one another, women to lick one another, and that these wonderful, 'moral' couples should be allowed to adopt children produced by actual 'couples' (people who can actually reproduce). Because your morality includes thinking it is cool that Woody Allen was first turned on to his wife when changing her diaper.
Yes, please go, and hurry. You take the tofu, we'll keep the cheeseburger. You hug the trees, we'll make love to our wives. You allow only criminals to have guns, we'll shoot the shit out of criminals who violate our homes. You give your children, if you can actually produce any non-crack babies, to the government daycare soon after birth because you're too damn selfish to raise them, we will homeschool ours. You keep reading Dr. Spock, we'll keep reading the Apostle Paul. Peace Out.
Addendum: Red States also get foaming-at-the-mouth, grammatically and spelling challenged nitwits like the gentleman above.
Ouch! That's gotta hurt. I'm talking of tomdawg's response, of course... ;-D

Anyway: with constitutional expert Glenn Beck's support, you should have the new nations up and running soon.
Gee, Tomdawg, you make me feel proud that the capital of the old Confederacy woke up and smelled the coffee. In case you haven't realised, MY Southern state, Virginia, gave YOUR ass the Declaration of Independence ... and Jefferson was a deist, NOT a Christian. Virginia girls are Enlightened Belles. Our state was born of the Enlightenment of the Eighteenth Century. I know Georgia's colonial roots, but my mamma raised be to be polite. All the best from BLUE Virginia, back in the fold of the intelligensia.