An OS melange.

This is a list composed of two previous lists prepared when we were all betas and a new list of observations gleaned from the truly open OS.

The first ten are about me then.
The second ten are about fat chicks, of which I am currently one.
The last 5 are about me now and how OS has changed my online experience.

1.  I can throw 30 pots in one hour and can easily throw one 50 lb pot in one hour.  I fire wood, electric, raku, and chimney kilns that I have designed, built, and repaired myself.

2.  I went to a special high school for science and math but I do not care to do or deal with math and my interest in science is largely involving practical or Newtonian physics.

3.  I think that atheism and daoism are religious philosophies and that adherants are believers.

4.  I think that I am equally human to any other human but that our diversity within our equality is the most essential quality of our natures.

5.  I think that light and color shows and devices are the coolest things that you can have as long as the power supply holds up.

6.  I think that people who cannot find anything on cable that is interesting or worth watching show a stunning lack of curiosity about the world.

7.  I can drop a VW microbus engine, rebuild a starter motor, and have used a gear puller successfully.

8.  I cook at a professional level and can make the best soul food you will ever eat.

9.  My interests and passions are so well compartmentalized that debatable topics rarely get me upset and this bothers a lot of people that I argue with.

10. My skills as a designer are better than my skills as an artist but I am known mainly for the latter.

1-There are no significant health risks that I have that I would not have if I were not fat.  I am an insulin dependent diabetic that was diagnosed at a period of my life when I was athletic and fit.  Injecting insulin makes you fatter.  It is how the hormone works in insulin resistant people.  There are some diabetics who get skinny because of it.  Genetic lottery on that one.  I have chronic pancreatitis that was the result of injury in an auto accident.  I have degenerative disc disease that has caused two back surgeries, just bad discs-no trauma, not weight-related.  I am otherwise healthy, mentally and physically.

2-Fatness is a feature of people that they own.  You are never fat and not know it.  You know how to diet and exercise.  And you are choosing not to do it at a rate to effect change.  That is a freedom and a responsibility.  I do not eat like a bird.  That is what I did when no insulin worked for me.  I now eat like a normal hungry person who loves food.  And I do not have high blood sugars, just fat, to show for it.  It is a release from constant worry and vigilence.  I am embracing it.

 3-I have nice clothes.  I had to find them.  And I have to stay within a reasonable range of fatness to wear them.  Unlike chronic dieters, though, I stay a consistent size and do not yo-yo.  It is healthier and less strain on my heart, or so my doctor says.  But just like you, I have to notice when things are getting tight and cut back to maintain my wardrobe.  Although I cannot say that I have "fat clothes" as it is a distinction with no meaning in my wardrobe.  "Too fat" exists for me, it is when my clothes do not look good.  I am vain that way. (Yes, fat people can be vain.)

4-Deprivation does not give me a good feeing of control.  It makes me feel deprived.  I have not got that thing that makes me feel virtuous when I am giving up something.  Maybe it is a common trait in fat people.  I don't know, but I am guessing it might be a factor.

5-I don't like fake food.  I had to eat it for a long time just to get a reasonable A1c, but I hated it.  That leaves me feeling kind of smug now that real butter and eggs are back on the menu, trans-fats are being banned, and non-calorie-non-sweet drinks are popular.

6-Skinny people don't frighten me, but they make me sad.  I, being about a size 16-18, look at them and wonder what effort it takes for them to remain thin and if they have to give up a lot of good things in order to maintain it.  They look stressed to me, as thinness was only a fleeting part of my life and when it was with me, I was very very sick.  This is a pshychological phenomena called projection.  It is normal.  Just like when thin people imagine how unhappy they would be if they were ever "that fat".  In reverse.

7-Having been both thin and fat, I like fat better.  People don't cozy up to you and be nice to you just to be "with the skinny girl".  This happened to me when I got really skinny really fast.  I went to the same stores and public places and was treated like a completely different person.  No dirty looks, a rather obsequeous friendliness was the note of the day.  It was creepy.  I rather prefer to be an anonymous fat chick to being an object of desire.

8-There is a whole subculture of people who PREFER fat chicks, the fatter the better.  They are affectionately known as chubby chasers.  They creep me out, too.  I think objectifying a person based on their weight is like looking at an iceberg and deciding you know all about it.  There is a lot there that you can't know by looking.  The skinny chick you might like to drape on your arm could be a psycho from hell.  The chubby chick you don't consider could be exactly like your mom in every good way there is to be.  And vice versa.

9-I am a belly dancer.  I am good at it.  It requires a non six packed belly.  And fitness.  And a sense of your own attractiveness.  Belly dancers know the sensuous appeal of soft flesh.  They work it.  They own it.

10-I don't eat all the time.  I eat a lot three times a day.  And not as much as you think, as it is a metabolic thing.  A lot of fat people are pre-diabetic and insulin-resistant.  They don't know it, as they are not tested for it commonly.  That is a medical crime.  Diabetes can be avoided, usually with medication, but also with constant severe dieting and 7-day a week exercise.  Think about how you eat, how often you do 45 minutes of continuous aerobic exercise each day,  and decide whether you would be able to do it before you judge those who need drugs to stay alive.

1)  I have become less tolerant of intolerance as time passes.  The internet has shown me that there is a vast array of personality behind the opinions out there and just as much fakery.  But the truth will out.

2)  When you get to know people only by what they blog, you both don't have the first clue about who they really are and have more truth about them than most of their closest friends and family have access to.

3)  Blogging is an essentially narcississtic act.  Any attempts to save the world through blogging are doomed.  Blog as if no one is reading!

4)  I do not trust pseudonominous people.  All internet people are pseudonominous people until you meet them in person or have irrefutable verifiable 3rd party information about them.

5)  You can't be "friends" with people you don't know, but you have to go with what you've got access to.

 In some cranky, some fun, some serious, and some playful moments on OS, I have discovered that I like people more than I thought I did and less.  OS has decreased my desire to be a hermit and increased my desire to remain a skeptic of human nature.  It is like the tao, filled with the great variety of human experience.  Like an excellent dish, it hits all points on the palate.