Whether taking her mom to Whole Foods, carrying Freaky's purse/home, or posting wildly funny posts on virtually anything that can happen to a woman living where it snows a lot, Ms. T&D has got it going on.  Deven is Freaky's ape in residence and has provided one of the most irreverent and one of the most moving blogs on Salon.

I have been a fan of hers and spiritual advisor to her kin and I have the honor of interviewing her for Open Salon.

With no further ado....Tequila and Donuts!

If forced to choose: tequila OR donuts?

It would have to be tequila. The truth is - now don't tell anybody - I don't even like donuts that much! ::gasp:: I KNOW! I just admire their ability to get people to build entire enterprises for them, like donut shops, and special snazzy cabinets at grocery stores. What other one food has done that? So shout out to the donuts, but I'd rather have tequila.

Now that that is settled, you came after beta and stayed. 

How did you find OS?

Barry Doyle was a flickr friend of mine. Back in the beta days he told us about this fancy new blogging site. I was jealous and forced him at knife point to send me an invitation. He's totally terrified of me. And with good reason.

So lets get right to it!

Did you write personal essays and fiction prior to writing on OS?

No. OS is the first time that I've written anything for public consumption. It would have never occurred to me to even try if it wasn't for trying to intimidate Barry.

How do you write? Is it stream of consciousness and then edited or formally outlined? What is your process?

I'm assuming most people would be interested in knowing about the Mom Day posts. When I spend time with her, I'll jot a quick one or two word note if something stands out. I usually end my time with her, with about five to six notes.

From there, it's just recalling the conversation and how it moved from point to point. If you ever just listen to people talk, not scripted speech, just everyday conversation, it's fascinating. People don't speak in full sentences.

Conversation is peppered with funny sayings that are short cuts for the conversers (I have no idea if that's a word, but if not, it should be). People don't usually hold one topic conversations, they can be discussing many things at the same time that you have to unravel. Most people are so colorful with how they choose to communicate. That has always intrigued me.

Your dialogues are some of my favorite pieces on OS.  Dialogue is particularly difficult to present and I admire that skill as a reader AND a writer!

When you write, do you edit extensively? Do you sit on posts or immediately publish?

I don't edit a lot. I'll go back and try to rework something that sounds clunky, but that's about it. Since most of my posts are recreations of dialogue, I can get away with syntax and grammatical murder. I don't usually sit on posts. Once I've written it, for the most part I'm sick of them. It's like making an elaborate recipe. Sometimes, when you're cooking something difficult or messy, and by the time you're finished, the last thing you want to do is eat the damn thing.

In greater narrative drifts, like the mom posts or the arc of freaky, do you have a planned destination or does it emerge from week to week?

Oh lord, I don't even plan destinations for my own life, let alone these posts. I do sometimes pick topics to talk about with my mother with a possible post in mind. She really enjoys that. Gives us a chance to speak about things that would have never just came up in conversation. It also gives her another opportunity to work in her knowledge of tongue balls and other things I'd just as soon forget.

I'm completely not in charge with Freaky. I'm surprised you even thought that.

I am glad you mentioned HER HER HER!  I hear that you have inside information on the ape that Freaky Troll PhD mentions in her famous Pilzner winning blog, "Lookit Editors!".  Care to comment?

Oop, oop.

If your mother had known that she would eventually be blogged, would you have been blogging years ago or would your blogging have been delayed?

I would have blogged years ago. There are so many ridiculous things that have happened throughout the years. I find it hard to try to recapture that. For me, it feels like I missed an opportunity to record those events. Yeah, I could try to write about it now, but I'm fairly certain that it wouldn't read the same.

What have you discovered about yourself by interviewing your mother and writing about it?

I've discovered just how much my mother and I are alike. It's spooky. And scary. And spooky. Do you know about tongue balls?

NO!  and I do not care to know!

Have you found that the story arc of your mom posts has impacted your activities with her and her ilk, and by ilk, I mean her fellow residents who participate in many lurid movie nights and early dinner activities?

The diary people have had a huge effect on mom and her friends. They've built you people up in their minds to be brilliant and totally depraved. I hope you're all trying to live up to that assumption.

They now do activities to try to come up with something interesting to report back to the diary people. Trust me, without you guys, they would not be watching those movies. I think they want to push the envelope. If we play this right, we can get them to watch porn inside a year.

Yay!  Old people and porn are a natural and beautiful combo.  Thank you for working on that.

Does your writing stream into the rest of your life or is OS an isolated environment? Is this intentional?

I have a small number of people in my "real" life that read my posts. Really, I find it awkward to mention to people that I blog. "Yeah, yeah.. so you know I write this thing that is super fantastic and is all about ME ME ME!..."

 Well, enough about you, tell us about you and your readers.

What kind of comment or reaction to your writing brings you the most joy? satisfaction? encouragement? pain?

It really makes me happy when people say that the exchanges remind them of conversations with their own mother. I try to be protective of that ideal. That's why you'll never see me write a negative post about my mother. Those posts are to honor her spirit, and I'm lucky enough that maybe they honor, just a little bit, of the spirits of all moms.

Wow, that sounded all pompous, but I meant it, so I'm leaving it in.

The pain... well that only happened once, when someone accused me of making fun of my mother. That is just so not the case. They also don't realize that my mom has always played to the audience, even when that audience was only me. She likes to see how outrageous she can get before I cry foul.

GROOOWWWL!

Encouragement? Having people say that they look forward to my posts. I can tell you, a lot of the time, when I'm writing, I feel sort of stupid. I think, really? Really? You have the temerity to ask people to read this slop? What nerve!

Indeed!  Thank you for resisting those impulses!

Have you always written or is it a emergent artistic outlet? What other activities do you engage in?

I've never written for fun before. I love to paint, though I'm not great at it (no, I'm not talking about the kitchen, though I'm not great at that either). I love photography, though I'm not that great at that either. I'm too dense to know how to use a big fancy camera, so I make due with my point and shoot. It's fun. I hate my current camera. I'm saving to buy a new one (wow, that sounds so sad, and so like I'm eight years old).

Your photoshopping abilites are legendary, including your work for this post!  But a lot of people don't know about your flikr images.  Like this one:

How would you describe what you write to someone who has never read it?

It's like a fancy grocery list.

When reading through OS, how do you most frequently choose and find articles that interest you? feed, cover, right hand lists on bloggers pages, bookmarks?

Thank you for asking that! I do not use that friend thing. I'm convinced the thing is broken! I use an rss feed through Bloglines. I was able to set that up with little trouble, and that's saying something for me. I worry sometimes because some people seem awfully invested in who has friended them. Since I don't really use that, I'm lackadaisical about clicking through on that.

I look at all the stuff on the cover, and watch the feed. When I'm really in the mood to read stuff, I go to the "Most Recent" click through at the top of the page and start scrolling.

What is most likely to make you comment on a post? (we are all aware of what FT is seeking! (cake, for the uninitiated) )

Humor. Period. I read other stuff all the time, but I love to laugh more than think. So people please write more brainless funny stuff, because that's what the world needs, less brains and more fluff. It's all this thinking that got us in this mess in the first place.

What type of posts excite you and draw you in? Which kind repulse you and make you look for the eye bleach?

I'm nosy. I like to peek in other people's lives. I like to see their houses and their home towns. I want to see inside your 'fridge. I want to know what's in your garage that's been sitting untouched for ten years.
Repulse? That's kind of a big word there. I can tell you I'm not a fan of the calling out post. There's a way to say what you're thinking without having to include "______ Is A Big Poopoo Head" as the title. Though I'm honest enough to admit I click through to see what it's all about. Remember? I'm nosy.

I think that is one of my own primary reasons for reading as well.  Curiosity is the main motivation for my blog reading.  And the thing about your blog is that I never know from day to day what I am going to get.  That is exciting and not true of a lot of what is on the internet.  Your blog is soup to nuts, and I mean that!

When you click into a post, what factor makes you want to comment or not comment?

Again, THANK YOU FOR ASKING THAT. I read and rate all the time. I have trouble commenting. So often all I could think to say is "uh huh." And while I know how nice it is to get comments, I'm really thinking my "uh huh" isn't going to brighten anyone's day. I also don't want to leave a comment that's all about ME ME ME. Sometimes I catch myself doing that, sort of "Yeah, yeah, all that blather you said. Now this one time I..." Then I get all embarrassed and wish they had a delete your comment button.

I think total spaz comments are the most fun kind!  Regarding the comments and their contribution to OS, there is a question that comes around frequently of late and I would love to know what you think.

If we are not a community, and not a writers' workshop, and not a conglomerate of money making monkeys, then what are we as the body of OS?

No knock to Zerry, but man, we are a community whether the powers that be like it or not. We get entangled in each others thoughts and lives. I know more about some of you guys than I do most of my relatives. That kind of intimacy is what makes a community. Maybe when this thing started, the thought was that people would post and run, but that's not how it's worked out.

As far as what all of that means for Salon, I have no idea. Danged if I can figure out how they make scratch around here.

Can you name a few favorite bloggers?

Yeah, like I'm going down that road! I will tell you one though. Someone I have a HUGE blog crush on. Someone who if I met in person, I have grown such an affection for that I'd probably want to squeeze his cheeks off (face cheeks, people - GEE!), and that's Sheldon the Wonderhorse. Man if I were super wealthy, I'd pay that guy to write me something everyday. I do a little Snoopy dance when I see he has a new post up.

So, hey, SHELDON ::pinch pinch pinch::

And with that shout out to another crazy character, we finish with the traditional Actors Studio Interview:

What is your favorite word?
Cheez

What is your least favorite word?
Snow

What turns you on?
Really good books and really bad movies

What turns you off?
Sudoku

What sound do you love?
Ocean waves

What sound do you hate?
The woodpecker on the side of my house

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Crime writer

What profession would you not like to participate in?
Ballet

What is your favorite curse word?
ahh.. ::BLEEEEEEEEP::

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Wow, that's one that makes me tear up. I hope that it's "Here's all the people that you forgot you knew in your past lives. They've missed you. Welcome back."

(Yeah, I'm just that nutty. SO WHAT?!)

Thank you all for coming.  And now for a few questions and comments from our audience of fellow writers and readers! 

http://open.salon.com/blog/tequilaanddonuts

http://www.flickr.com/people/tequilaanddonuts/