Although she didn’t become famous, my mom and Rita Hayworth have a few things in common.  In addition to being an incredibly talented actress and singer, Mom used to draw.  Her drawings were of an ethereal nature:  plants, gardens, girls in diaphanous gowns and the family cat Mitzi.  Hayworth painted still lifes and flowers.  They both read voraciously and survived the Great Depression.

They both changed their names for the stage.  Mom’s given name was Dolores Wozodlo which she changed to Katherine Lind, after Jenny Lind, the opera singer, also known as the “Swedish nightingale.”  Mom always hated both her first and last name.  Well, you can’t blame her.  Dolor means “sadness,” “anguish” or “mental suffering.”  Wozodlo was too clunky for an actress.  Hayworth’s real name was Margarita Carmen Cansino.

Both she and Rita were glamour girls.

Also like Mom, Rita Hayworth had Alzheimer’s disease.  In the late 70s, Hayworth became very ill with what some doctors misdiagnosed as “alcoholic dementia.”  Although Hayworth did have a drinking problem, her daughter Yasmin Aga Khan said she believed it was something else as evidenced by her mother’s confusion, disorientation and panic.  Hayworth had an alcoholic “breakdown” in 1978 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1980.  At the time, little was known about the disease.  Khan learned that some Alzheimer’s sufferers turn to alcohol for comfort when their memories start to fade.  I did not know this.  Ms. Khan took care of her mother who was living in a small apartment on Central Park West until she died in 1987 at the age of 68. 

Like me, Khan worries about inheriting the disease.  She watched her mother suffer with it for seven years.  Near the end, Hayworth was bedridden and did not recognize anyone.  She was not alert when her only grandson was born in 1985.

This may be one of the most difficult posts I have ever written.  I am feeling very vulnerable right now.  I am not a princess like Khan and my mother was no Hollywood icon, but this disease seems to dissolve all barriers between people. 

The 2009 documentary I Remember Better When I Paint will be airing this Sunday afternoon (EST) on PBS.  It shows how painting, drawing and museum visits contribute to an improved quality of life and some restoration of memory and identity for those with Alzheimer's.

Later in life, Hayworth took up painting again which brought her great comfort.  I am thinking this weekend I will bring my mother an easel and some paints and see if she will paint with me.  I am no artist, but I can draw simple flowers and stick figures.  She will clearly outshine me here.