“This is just like television, only you can see much further.”

                    Chance the Gardener in Being There

It’s hard for me to think about the GOP candidates as anything other than fictional characters:  no flesh and blood there.  What comes to mind lately is the journey of would-be dentist, Hermey, the Elf and Rudolph in the classic animated feature, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, when they, along with Yukon Cornelius, discover the Island of Misfit Toys.  All of the toys on the island have some flaw or another.  They long to be whisked away by Santa on Christmas Eve and given homes and children to love.

I could not help but notice the resemblance between Hermey and Rick Santorum:

 

I don’t know if Hermey was a practicing Catholic, but he was very clean and hygienic, as Santorum appears to be.  And they both celebrate Christmas.

What about Newt Gingrich?  Here’s the perfect match:

 

The Abominable Snow Monster was fearsome when he had his teeth, but when Hermey extracted them, poor ASM lost his (no pun intended) bite and became docile.  Yukon Cornelius brought him to the North Pole where he placed the star on the top of Santa’s tree, and thereafter remained in Santa’s village.  Newt’s teeth are slowly being extracted.  Even the conservative National Review believes it is time for him to throw in the towel.  Mark McKinnon, former adviser to George W. Bush and Daily Beast contributor, says that Gingrich cannot simply do well at the February 22 debate, but must “absolutely dominate [it].”  He is out-funded by both Santorum and Romney.  Various media sources have remarked on Newt having “risen from the dead” numerous times during his campaign.  The question is, can he rise again?

I couldn’t find a character in Rudolph that suited Mitt Romney; however, Buzz Lightyear from the Toy Story franchise fits the bill.

Buzz is a space ranger action figure and co-leader of Andy’s (little boy) Room.  His catchphrase is, “To infinity . . . and beyond!”  Sounds like Mitt to me.  Mitt is a kind of spaceman or Rocket Man with his head in the clouds, living the Life of Riley while the “peasants” lose their livelihoods and homes.  Nero fiddling while Rome burns.

daisy jane smithie suggested Coach Comet from Rudolph as another Mitt-lookalike.  I concur.

Coach Comet may look harmless enough in this photo, but he was a bully, and after Rudolph's fake black rubber nose fell off, the coach excluded him from the Reindeer Games.  Sounds pretty racist to me, or was he afraid of commies?

Which of these characters do you think will win the nomination?  I guess only time will tell.  What about Chance the Gardener, the simpleton (played by Peter Sellers) from Being There, for President?  What do you think?