It’s The Stepford Wives all over again.  Silly me, I thought it was 2012.  On March 14, during a discussion of the mandatory ultrasound bill, Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett (R) said that that the measure does not go too far.  His advice to women:  “You just have to close your eyes.”  I feel much better now, Tom, thanks.

Once again he affirmed his support of the “Women’s Right to Know” Act, requiring doctors to perform an ultrasound on a patient, offer her two personalized copies of the film and play and describe fetal heartbeat before she can have an abortion.  He did not disclose whether or not he considered transvaginal ultrasounds to be invasive procedures.

When asked if he thought the bill went too far by making a woman examine the ultrasound image, he said, “You can’t make anybody watch, okay?  Because you just have to close your eyes.  As long as it’s on the exterior and not the interior.”

I feel blessed that Gov. Corbett is allowing women to “close their eyes.”  I thought the doctors would be instructed to pry our eyelids open with toothpicks or some modern optical device to make us see the error of our ways.  Will we then be escorted to the hospital cafeteria for a milkshake and cookies?  I like being babied myself.  If they are going to infantilize us, why not go all the way?

Pennsylvania’s ultrasound bill, unlike its Virginia counterpart, does not specify the type of ultrasound that would be required.  The doctor would have to use the “interior” procedure for most first-trimester abortions to meet the strictures of the law.

The problem is that even if a patient were to close her eyes as the governor suggests, the doctor will have to turn the image toward her face, give her signed copies of the image and describe the number of heartbeats per minute and tell her if the fetus is “normal” or not for its age.

I heard a rumor that Corbett belongs to the modern-day Stepford Men’s Association.  He longs for the days of ladies in long frilly frocks who bake and scrub until the skin melts off their hands, who are ever-so-obedient and have sex with their husbands on command.  Ah, what a woman wouldn’t give for a man like that . . .