The rise of the label “elitist” marks a sobering trend in American politics. Any candidate hoping to become the new President of the United States, leader of the free world, one of the most powerful figures in international politics, faces a painful dilemma this election year – whether or not he is actually capable of meeting the overwhelming demands of his position, he must come across as only half as intelligent as the job requires.

Enter John McCain’s Sunni vs. Shi’ite mix-ups (that’s plural). Enter George W. Bush’s winning billing as “someone you could have a beer with” – still a top qualification for executive office in the person of Sarah Palin. Enter Palin’s willful – even joyful – denial of scientific fact (i.e., global warming) and many male voters’ open admission that they’ll vote for her because she’s “hot,” or for the more absurd reason that a skirted feminist is a better feminist (in the words of Donny Deutsch).

Every candidate makes mistakes on the campaign trail. But the stupidest mistakes are not the ones candidates are apologizing for. The pig-with-lipstick thing? Not even a mistake, but Barack Obama went on the frenzied defense over it. Meanwhile, McCain’s “sex ed for kindergartners” ad, the jokes about Obama’s history as a community organizer, and the return of political irrelevancies like abortion and religion to public debate develop sequel after sequel. Why the appeal to emotion over reason, faith over fact? Because every person’s emotions are considered more or less equally valid – and the same can’t be said for skills. So forget skills! What many Americans want most of all is that our next president doesn’t end up being smarter than them.

The presidency requires an almost inhuman swath of knowledge, engulfing economics, finance, foreign policy, international relations, knowledge of U.S. legislative history and the Constitution, philosophical reasoning, creativity, and people skills.  

But listening to anyone like that ignites Joe Blow's inferiority complex – and he just gets sick of being talked down to.

Every aspect of American life has evolved to entertain us. News includes celebrity news, celebrity anchors, and celebrity style. The Internet conjures up anything you ask of it. No newspaper would be complete without a heartwarming feature and a TV schedule. For every introspective movie there are ten summer blockbusters; for every good band there are ten, well, bands. Politics, meanwhile, can’t be expected to keep the heavy topics heavy and sustain the ratings.

That’s why sound bites of presidential hopefuls were 83 percent shorter in 2000 than they were in 1968, according to the Center for Media and Democracy. All the American public asks is that you dumb it down, make it quick, make it entertaining.

Talk issues too much and we’ll get bored. Struggling economies and poor people bum us out. Any president who claims to care about these things 24/7 is proclaiming himself more virtuous, more accomplished – smarter than us.

That’s why candidates are struggling to tack up humble backgrounds to their humbler personalities in 2008. Certainly an appeal to the blue-collar worker is endearing – if it’s genuine. Our future president should understand how the people he represents live, whether in rural or urban environments, working at skilled or unskilled labor, earning big bucks or minimum wage.

But what about the word “elitist”? For a politician, it’s deadly. Any candidate labeled an elitist is done for. But what does it mean?

It doesn’t mean rich. Ask John McCain, with his seven (or nine?) houses and continued tax cuts for the richest Americans. In fact, “elitist” has never meant rich, as it’s a favorite term of the Republican party for going on many years now, while Republican candidates unwaveringly insist that the biggest cuts for the biggest accounts is the way to empower struggling middle-class households.

“Elitist” doesn’t mean an educated background, either, though we’re getting warmer. Prospective presidents disproportionately hail from Ivy League schools. But what they do with the knowledge they gained there determines where the label will stick. Anyone who’s failed business venture after business venture between bouts of alcoholism (ahem) certainly couldn’t be called an elitist. Nor could a wife/mother/moose-hunter, conveniently. Decorated war veterans are entirely off-limits, of course, unless they’re John Kerry. But lawyers? Community organizers? Activists? Authors? Who knows, anyone could be elitist – but especially and most of all if they’ve got some perceived highfalutin attitude.

Americans are sick of presidential candidates who can organize and articulate their thoughts about complicated concepts – particularly if they want to talk all this heavy stuff all the time. These guys spoil the fun. And when the fun is spoiled, we get offended. The inferiority complex and the American spirit of competition kicks in, and we get sick and tired of being talked down to. Loosen up. Tell me what I already know. Talk shit. Pose with a shotgun. Give us a smile.