As Boyfriend came into the bedroom after a stint in front of the TV last night, I said to him in English: "Hello, what's up?"

We never speak English with each other, and why should we? Sweden has its own perfectly functional language. In fact Boyfriend does everything he can to avoid speaking English within earshot of me, just like I do everything I can to avoid driving with him in the car. Being around someone who is too good at something compared to yourself is not inspirational.  This, incidentally, is one of the reasons why I will have the power advantage when we go to England; he will be doing all the driving and he will have to speak English while I am present.

I said "Hello, what's up?" in English in an attempt to be funny. Boyfriend, who had been less than playful all day answered in Swedish: "I don't know that anything IS up." At hearing this reply, my body went into a state of shock. It was the shock of recognition. During the five years I lived in the American Mid-west, surely no single day could have gone by without my hearing some variation of the mock misunderstanding of the phrase "What's up?" Farmers, locals, store clerks, teachers, fellow students looking up at the ceiling and saying "I dunno, what IS up?" What a cruel game to have a common greeting phrase and then making fun of people when they use it.

It had taken thirteen years of us knowing each other  before Boyfriend subjected me to the shock. He came up with the joke himself.  First he was incredulous. He had never heard it used before. Then he was incredulous at being forbidden to ever use it again.  PTSD can be caused by repeated trauma other than war. If I was the type of person who sleeps with a gun under the pillow the evening would have ended badly.