As I was planning what to pack for my trip to Cornwall I realized that I did not have a purse that would be right for the occasion.

As a rule I am a bit fastidious about how much stuff I can tolerate in my life at one time. For each item I buy, at least two items need to go. In the purse department, this translates into owning only one or two purses at a time. Three tops. Any more and I have horrible loyalty conflicts when having to choose between them. I have come to understand that that is not a large number of purses to own for a 46-year old female.

What strikes me as odd however, is that even after at least three decades as a regular user of purses, I still have not found the perfect model or even one that comes close. I do know that for each individual purse I have ever owned some aspect that I dislike has emerged sooner or later. I notice these aspects and remember them next time I am attracted to another purse. I don’t want a purse that cannot stand up on its own, or one that is so baggy that it folds.

I don’t want a purse that does not have enough pockets inside to hold my cell phone, different ID cards, makeup mirror and USB stick. I don’t want one that is too small to hold a book or two (paperback). I don’t want a purse that has a flap because it is so irritating to lift it each time you need to get something out. I don’t want one with a magnetic lock for the same reason. I don’t want a purse that has a zipper at the top which will scratch your wrist each time you put your hand inside. I don’t want a see-through purse because then you have to worry about what your stuff looks like to others. I have lots of don’ts about the shoulder straps – whether it must be one or two, how long they should be, whether the purse should have handles besides the shoulder straps, and how shoulder straps and handles should be attached. I have difficulties with purses that have just one shoulder strap which is attached asymmetrically. I don’t want a purse with a shoulder strap that is too thin.  I don’t want a purse that is so expensive that I would get angry if it was scratched or happened to get an ink blot. I don’t want a purse that is made of anything but leather. I don’t want a black purse. I don’t want a purse that has a designer label. The list goes on and on.

Each lesson learned represents at least one previously owned purse. Why none of the criteria on the list is phrased in positive terms, i.e. rules about what I DO want in a purse, I do not know. It would be so easy to have it the other way around; to go shopping for a bag that fulfilled x, y and z criteria rather than one that had none of the hundreds characteristics I do not want it to have.

The other week I was shopping for a toy pistol to use to illustrate a point during a web cast. The novelty store only had revolvers, light sabers and cutlasses, each of which would have forced me to alter the metaphor I was planning to illustrate. I bought a neon colored water gun instead. Then I saw a crate of cheapo black bags. They had a plastic city map on each side. All the bags had Manhattan or Barcelona maps, except for one which had a map of Stockholm. The shoulder straps are wrong. It makes me look like a bag lady. But I saw that I could carry several books in it comfortably. Maybe the book on hieroglyphs that is screaming for me to read it. Later I found a little pouch inside the bag containing a marker and an eraser intended to draw on the city maps of the bag. Nothing about the bag irritates me yet except for the fact that it was purchased in a novelty store.   

The problem is not trivial. I have noticed a similar process when buying shoes and other items. For each new pair of shoes I notice something that isn’t working for me. I think it is a design evaluation process that keeps me dissatisfied. The purse is a mini home away from home. It should hold what I need, keep my things organized and, if possible, not make me look like a bag lady. Which brings to mind one more thing I don’t want in a purse: I don’t want it to be overly designed! I don’t want the purse to dictate where I should or should not keep my pen. Crazy and inconsistent. I still believe in the existence of the perfectly designed purse. I have yet to find it.