Ersatz Reader

SEPTEMBER 28, 2010 10:47AM

The absence of threats may be threatening too

Rate: 2 Flag

Daughter returned from week-long school trip to Germany and Poland yesterday. I strung up a bunch of ballons in her room in preparation for her return as she turned 18 during the trip. The destination of the school trip was to visit Auschwitz and Daughter forced the organizers to change the itinerary so the camp visit would not coincide with her birthday.

Daughter, who is capable of denouncing family, friends and mother country when in the wrong mood even said thank you for the balloons and was generally pleasant. Since her return there has been almost no time when we are both awake simultaneously. In the few minutes I spent with her awake I noticed a sense of dread in me which contrasts with her current sunny demeanour.

I just figured out what the dread is about. It is elicited by the conspicuous absense of the usual threats to get a tattoo, go out drinking, move to another country, city and/or house as soon as she turns 18! I wonder what will come next :D

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Ain't motherhood grand?! Remember, this too shall pass.
R
Donna Carbone
September 28, 2010 12:41 PM
Thank you for your support Donna!
I forgot to list the threats to get a neck piercing, move to Berlin and become gay. The last threat was only uttered once or twice but fizzled when there was no reaction. Anyway, Daughter called last night to yell at me for failing to provide a "normal bathroom where a person can take a shower without flooding the entire floor", so things are back to normal.
Ersatz Reader
September 29, 2010 03:25 AM
sounds like she just needed a little space. ahem its a fairly well-kept secret from psychology that the more connected to your kid, the more rebellious they are as teenagers. action/reaction on the psychological level.
vzn
September 29, 2010 10:12 PM
sounds like she just needed a little space. ahem its a fairly well-kept secret from psychology that the more connected to your kid, the more rebellious they are as teenagers. action/reaction on the psychological level.
vzn
September 29, 2010 10:12 PM
Yes thanks vzn, you are right. We are almost done with what we are doing here :D I am well aware of how beneficial the fighting is to Daughter. Whatever victories she wins over me she wins fair and square. The fighting or negotiating itself is actually her Child negotiating with and internalizing my Parent. She is modifying some of her most dangerous plans to some degree. When she has her full freedom she will be better at guessing what the consequences of certain things will be. I am thinking about howkids in the US go away to College they just escape parental supervision completely from one day to the next. And how they go haywire. Here it is a more continuous process.
Ersatz Reader
October 03, 2010 03:16 PM