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escrito por nada

escrito por nada
Somewhere Special, United States
November 22
Mostly amiable
I've lived a good life studying people and gathering wool. My apologies to the Spanish speakers among us. My screen name might have better been "escrito para nada". Anyway you say it I'm not getting paid for writing.


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NOVEMBER 11, 2012 9:59PM

Brown Paper Packages Wrapped in Tears

Rate: 6 Flag

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

From, The Sound of Music


Maria’s favorite things were things that belong to everyone and to no one.  Favorite things may be keepsakes, or things of great worth or things that are just comfortable and familiar. 

I have little of worth. What I would like to do is share a few of the things that have sentimental value to me.  But, I can’t.  If I had things of monetary value I would be afraid that I might attract thieves and, consequently, would not show them to the world.  So, why not show my little things, the things that bring memories and joy?  The reason is simple.

My younger daughter is married to a man (it is hard to use that term in this case) who has a classical narcissistic personality disorder – my diagnosis – who, like all narcissists, has no empathy, has an exaggerated sense of his own value, thinks he is an Adonis, and seeks to control others in his life in order to feel important.  My daughter and granddaughters finally fled the home and the  situation a little over a year ago and went into hiding after my older granddaughter was physically attacked by her step-father.

During the period that our daughter was living with this merde embulante, he was verbally and physically abusive.  His stock-in-trade, however, was destruction of things that others held dear.  My older granddaughter had almost nothing.  She had two things that she valued; an Alice in Wonderland tea set that her mother had bought for her, and an X-box that we had given her for Christmas.  The son-in-law smashed her tea set, and pawned the X-box to buy beer. 

Apparently, destroying things was something the "disorder" did when he still lived at home, destroying his parent’s things.  Our daughter was an art major in college.  She kept all of the work that she did in school with the intention of giving it to her daughter at some time in the future.  After becoming enraged because the family was not worshiping him, the son-in-law slashed all of my daughter’s paintings.  When she wept inconsolably he offered to put them back together with duct tape.

So, to identify anything that I hold dear would just invite destruction.  Why me?  Am I not being a little paranoid?  Consider the fact that before my daughter engaged a lawyer and entered into divorce and custody discussions we received harassing phone calls day and night, over and over.  We were able to trace the calls to our son-in-law.  When his lawyer was made aware of the calls he ceased hanging up and began leaving hate messages.  We are guilty by association in the mind of this narcissist for being the parents of the daughter who did not stroke the ego of this bit of putrescence. 

Sorry.  I had thought of a photo essay.  I would love to share, but it can not happen.

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I haven't posted here recently due to "spam delay". It happened again last evening. V e r y S l o w. I posted under my pseudonym for obvious reasons.
Nothing the cops can do?
Can't he be sued in civil court for doing this to you?
Hello. I have the utmost sympathy for you and your family in this situation. I have read your other articles on this topic and felt sad. You are right to be cautious. I think this kind of person would stop at nothing. I really hope for the best for everyone involved. I so sympathize with your daughter as she probably has to start over for all practical purposes. But at least she is doing so.
Here's hoping that your family manages to escape this beast. All the best.
Know at least that your brown paper packages are seen and that the tears that wrap them ... are heard and felt ...
I'm not sure anything I say will help, but I would like to believe there's a way to make this stop. He's not just taking what has or had value, he's taking your peace of mind. Is there a possibility of some kind of mediation, maybe within the lawyer's offices?
[r] escrito, I had no idea where this blog was going, starting out with such sentimentality. I loved that sound of music song and performance when I saw it. the joys of childhood.

your story is stunning and troubling. i have experienced spoilers, but the intensity of the irrationally malicious spoiler in your life is certainly beyond the pale.

They say each one of us is susceptible to a psychopath. They are charming and intuitively skilled at telling us everything we want to hear especially initially. As Susan Forward explains in "Men Who Hate Women, and the Women Who Love Them" there is no evidence of weakness in being seduced by a psychopath, the evidence of weakness is when one doesn't leave the thrall of the psychopath and becomes a hostage which is more and more debilitating. And to have children be hostages because a parent is a hostage is all the more horrifyingly inhumane.

I am glad your family is separating from the crazed thrall of this individual. It obviously will take time and courage and will.

I am so sorry. Those who have never experienced such enthrallment and vengeance can sympathize but not truly empathize with enduring such targeting pathology!

You and yours take care of your precious selves!

best, libby
Thanks to everyone who commented. For some reason I never received notification of any comments to this blog. Actually, I was so upset at the time that I wrote it that I imagined folks would be too repulsed to keep reading.
As our daughter's lawyer said, unfortunately, because you share a child, you will have to deal with this person until your daughter reaches maturity.
What is truly amazing is that the family of individuals like this enable them. Our daughter initially felt that she could find someone in the family who would help her, but they were all complicit in one way or another in the continued abuse.