Esse Est Percipi
- Birthday
- April 09
- Title
- Minister of Running Up Stairs Two at a Time Flinging the Door Open and Saying 'Ha Ha Caught You Mildred'
- Bio
- I guess I put off writing this as long as possible :D
My name is Victor and I'm a young man (lets just say I have an ego beyond my years), a New York native living in New England. I'm a single, cynical, wittily comedic, actor-wannabe with a deep seated interest in psychology and philosophy (I've been likened to Nietzsche more times than I can count). I like the band RUSH way too much, and am thoroughly engrossed in music. Oh yeah, and I write stuff for fun.
(All prose and short stories are copyright Victor Schwartz 2009 unless otherwise stated)
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “B. Hmmm... Mr. Wiskers
was here just a second
ago...
H. Recently,
I've noticed the…”
August 31, 2009 01:33PM - “This is the second time
that I have been faced with
the task
of what to say to
a…”
August 27, 2009 09:10PM - “You're a complicated
man: You're an ass for many
reasons
XD
Just
kidding, just ki…”
August 27, 2009 08:49PM - “You continue to amaze,
to dazzle, and to sketch!
Awesome
additions man!”
August 27, 2009 08:45PM - “I can't stand this whole
thing with Gay Rights.
There
shouldn't even be a
discuss…”
August 27, 2009 08:35PM
Esse Est Percipi's Links
OCTOBER 15, 2009 10:58PM
Studio 208
So my folks wanted to see my new place, so here you have it. The main room is about 15'x20'.
TV, PS3, Wii (man-cave), fridge, and closet
Table, Chairs, and roomie's computer
Bunks, Last one in (me) gets top bunk :P… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 12, 2009 9:46PM
Just a Heads Up
Lately, many of you may (or may not) have
noticed that I haven't been around. This is for two very good
reasons. Reason one: I have two jobs now trying to save up as much
money as possible, which is seriously cutting into my time for
R&R. Reason two: I want… Read full post »
AUGUST 21, 2009 3:03PM
New From Scotland: "I Can't Believe It's Not Bullshit!"
I dunno if you've heard this or not, but
Scotland is now officially the Western Worlds' retarded cousin. I'm
going to try and tell you what happened, but I hafta go fast,
because if there are any pauses during which my brain can process
what I am saying, my poor cerebrum… Read full post »
AUGUST 5, 2009 11:30PM
Why I Need A Dog
People suck. I can't stand people. I have been
trying for a while to change this opinion, to become a social
person, but I just can't get around the facts. I wanted to be
popular when I was younger, to have people appreciate me, to be
everyone's pal. As I grew… Read full post »
JULY 30, 2009 9:53PM
How The Scottish Conan Guy Is Saving Late-Night TV
It's late at night, and the networks are all
broadcasting their talk shows that have become a who's who of
upcoming movies and bands. But after watching these shows for a
while now, I've come to a conclusion: With the notable exception of
Craig Ferguson, they suck major wind.
Letterman… Read full post »
JULY 27, 2009 7:29PM
Old Dog, New Tricks
He was born 5 days before me. Well, 5 days and
26 years before me. He started off as a promising actor, but
developed problems with alcohol and other substances. Many people
didn't think he'd ever return to the big screen. And yet he
has.
Robert Downey Jr. has become… Read full post »
JULY 22, 2009 10:55PM
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't
As many of you know already, I am headed
across the country in a couple of months to begin life as a college
student. However, something has happened back home, and I'm afraid
it's time for me to look toolder, wiser folks for advice. Asking
for input is not something my… Read full post »
JULY 20, 2009 2:03PM
Death or Glory
June 10, 2008
The sweat ran down his forhead. The Jeep
bounced across the rugged terrain, and the four passengers bounced
with it. The radio blared, some hard rock. Typical.
His back hurt. Damn Dos Equis.
* * *
JULY 15, 2009 11:27PM
8 Artists That Aren't As Popular (now) As They Should Be
So music is a passion of mine, as moany of you
know, but my taste in music is generally considered suspect.
Usually I just get weird looks when I give people the name of a
band or artist, and I suddenly realized, I should stop blowing
these folks off. So here,… Read full post »
JULY 10, 2009 11:08PM
A Defense of the Graphic Novel Against Old Literature Prudes
I was caught by a friend of mine the other day
reading my well-thumbed copy of the graphic novel From
Hell. I was shocked by what they had to say.
"Dude, you still read comics?"
I could have slapped her. Nuthin to it, just a
flick of the wrist.… Read full post »
JULY 5, 2009 10:31PM
The Name's Fail. Epic, Fail.
Have you ever wanted to be a spy? John Sawers
did. And unlike you, John Sawers became a spy. Unless of course,
you are a spy. If you are, then you are already better at your job
than John Sawers. You see, while you were out doing your secret spy
shit… Read full post »
JULY 3, 2009 10:21PM
Who Cares?
Given all the press that the recent rash of
celebrities joining the Pearly Gates Club, I have to bring forth a
point that I do every single time someone famous dies: why do you
care? Unless you knew said celebrity personally, then it's just
another dead guy. Don't these people get… Read full post »
JUNE 25, 2009 8:28PM
I am Now Officially Entitled
Rather than made snide remarks about the
recent advent of advertisments or making some glib memorial about
the most well known of the Jackson Five, I decided to just relax a
little bit and watch some good old fashioned comedy. For this, I
turn to my trustworthy 16 DVD box set… Read full post »
JUNE 21, 2009 10:37PM
Five Guns That Are Clearly Compensating for a Tiny Penis
A warning: This is a pitch I sent in to Cracked.Com as an article. It is, rude, and at times lewd. I think it's pretty funny, but it isn't for the easily offended. Read at your own risk :D
We’ve all seen that douche-bag acting macho at the local… Read full post »
JUNE 18, 2009 10:33PM
Go Directly to Life:Do Not Pass Physics, Do Not Collect $200
Okay, that's a little misleading. I think I
got, like, a C in physics, but anything below a B is failing to me,
so whatever. June 18th, 2009. Never again shall I set foot in my
high school. I'll never again get called into the office because
the internet is… Read full post »
JUNE 12, 2009 1:47PM
The Greatest of Men
And so he hangs,
by feet and hands,
upon those criss crossed wooden bands.
Dying for us,
so they say,
in desert lands so far away.
yet what we've gained,
from the story told,
is that every life can still be sold.
Why should we bother,
why should we try,
when… Read full post »
MAY 21, 2009 9:10PM
Oh, the Hypocrisy!
Recently, the Obama administration has been
working hard to bring about a treaty with the United Arab Emerates.
The treaty is a nuclear pact similar to the one that has already
been established with India. If passed, the United States would
share nuclear technology, expertise, and fuel, and in return… Read full post »
MAY 13, 2009 10:37PM
We Won't Get Fooled Again (Yeah We Will)
If, as the above poster suggests, 400 million
people were waiting for the truth, I hope to Christ they didn't
watch this movie. It's an interesting idea, and the movie had
potential: it could've earned its place as one of the great movies.
But no, this… Read full post »
MAY 10, 2009 8:56PM
Back to Bassics
This is for the most unnappreciated band
member of all time. Everyone loves to rave about those awesome
electric guitar riffs, or that double necked beast that Robbie
Robertson is jamming out on. We all can't wait to tell our friends
about the awesome singer with… Read full post »
MAY 8, 2009 11:17AM
A Modern Way of Listening to Tunes
I love music. I play it or sing it or hum it
or whistle it nonstop. I suspect that there is some sort of music
eminating from me while I sleep. Now, I usually stick to the
classics; The Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Cream,and my long
standing favorite band… Read full post »
MAY 7, 2009 8:02AM
My First Time
This is my first Dirty Thursday, so be nice. I tried to add a little humor to it :)
Trying to think of
Anything but you and now
God dammit - too soon Read full post »
MAY 4, 2009 10:24PM
Open Call :: Age 13: The Beginning, Or The End?
I was taking a look at CNN, as I am wont to
do, and I found an article. Since I think that stirring up the shit
is necessary from time to time, I'm bringing it to your attention.
Let me explain. No, it's too long, let me sum up ;)
MAY 1, 2009 11:06PM
...thankyou... (A.K.A. How AMDA took 10 years off my life)
I recently applied for college (yes, I know
what month it is, and yes, I am totally and certifiably insane. I
have proven this on many circumstances. Okay Victor, get back to
the fuckin topic). They were all fine schools that offered
specialized acting programs where they would teach me to… Read full post »
MAY 1, 2009 10:59AM
Truthiness
Well, the truth of the matter is, the only guesses I've recieved so far have cleverly avoided the actual truth to my three statements. If you haven't guessed yet, you might want to. But if you're the kind of person who likes dessert first, scroll down.
APRIL 30, 2009 2:01PM
OESheep's Open Call
Here you have it:
1. I have never experimented with drugs of any kind
2. I used to play bass guitar
3. I was sent to preschool as a child for being "socially handicapped"
Choose wisely ;) Read full post »
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