Given all the press that the recent rash of celebrities joining the Pearly Gates Club, I have to bring forth a point that I do every single time someone famous dies: why do you care? Unless you knew said celebrity personally, then it's just another dead guy. Don't these people get enough press during the time they spend walking around? Let them go gracefully, don't plaster the radio, television, internet, and all other forms of public communication with which people are targeted every day.
It sounds callous. It sounds cold. But honestly, why care about someone just because they're dead? Aren't you a little bit late with all that compassion? I got a plan for all you whiners, all you people that are suddenly die hard Michael Jackson fans. All you people busy pretending that Billy Mays didn't annoy the shit out of you every time he tried to shove Oxi-Clean up your nose. Open the local paper, every morning, and see if you care about the half-dozen obituaries in there. I bet you don't. I'll bet you a million dollars you could read every obituary in your local news rag for the next MONTH, and not even pretend to give half a damn about anybody you find in there. You'll be polite. You'll say something like "oh, that's a shame", but inside, you're already wondering what you'll be having for dinner.
If we all cared about everybody, life as we know it would shut down. Every nine seconds, someone on this planet dies. Every nine seconds. That's a lot of caring to do. I hope you're up to it. Maybe if I can keep you all busy pretending to care you won't be able to plaster the internet with you're "I'm so sorry" bullshit.
I would like to apologize to those people who really do care for some legitimate reason other than that it's fashionable. It sucks that the "me-too-ers" are ruining it for you.
I would like to be the first to announce that Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Ed McMahon, and Farah Fawcett are all dead, and I'm not losing any sleep over it.
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cartouche
Sheldon The Wonderhorse
Floyd Elliot
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Comments
It's not the celebrity people are mourning, but the loss of a link with their own past.
Plus there's the whole "facing your own mortality" bit.
I'm thinking that if we can get that world death rate down to say every seven seconds, we might be able to save the planet. Otherwise there will too many people and with the mass starvation that is on the horizon, we will be cheering the death of celebrities because of the huge amounts of resources that they gobble up.
That said, the only reason that I read the local obits is to make sure that I'm not in there.
However, I think it fitting to simply throw them a salute, utter the obligatory "We'll miss ya, {insert name here}" and get on with the business of living. Saying, "There'll never be another Michael Jackson" is kind of silly - I mean, geez, I hope not.
Thumbed. His Most Supreme Royal High-ness (NOT to be confused with His Most Supreme Royal Hind-Ass).
I must say, though, that the canonization of Michael Jackson beats all I've ever seen. For my money, he was a performer far more than a creator. He was neither an interpretative genius and boundary-crosser like Ray Charles, nor a musician who moved the musical bar like Stevie Wonder.
MJ in his time was probably closest to Elvis in his, adored more for his persona and his affect at least as much as his talent.