I just realized that I've been on OS for nearly a year. My first post was written on February 15 2009. Those of youse who have been reading my posts since then are aware that a lot has changed, for me, during that interval.

Looking back, I see that I wrote (and responded to) a lot of posts about menopause and anticipation thereof. Back In February of 2009, I was still getting regular periods.  Well...as of yesterday, it had been four months since the last "visit from my friend." I knew there was no way I could be pregnant, so figured I must be at the beginning of the end...until this morning, when I found that my "friend" had returned. I know you're not supposed to be truly "in" menopause until you've been "friendless" for a full year, so I guess I'm still on the perimenopause periphery.  That combined with the fact that, while I haven't had anything I'd recognize as a hot-flash, I have been getting sweaty at night, convinces me that I'm much closer to true menopause than I was 11 months ago. Yes, I'm feeling "old." I'm grateful, though, that, thus far, I don't have any symptoms that are worse than nuisance.

This is Saturday night and I'm home alone. While I'm not exactly having a thrilling time of it, I'm glad to be home alone on this particular Saturday night. I never would have thought, when I was younger, that I'd ever be anything but depressed about spending a Saturday night at home alone. I am content, though, even if not thrilled. I came home from my teaching day at the seminary (I teach there one full Saturday a month), fed cats, took a bath, cooked and ate my dinner, did a bit of reading and now...here I am, hanging with the cool crowd on OS.  Yes, there are people in my life with whom I'd enjoy spending Saturday night. On this particular Saturday night, though, those folk are all elsewhere and that's more than okay.

Iggy is at a party for our nephew's college graduation (youngest New York nephew, the Tech Master started in  January, so is graduated now. Just a piece of paper, no public ceremony). I love my nephew very much, and would have accompanied Iggy if it hadn't conflicted with my work schedule. It did, though, so I bought a card, put some money in it, wrote a nice message and instructed Iggy to do the same and bring it with him. I actually feel a bit guilty about the fact that I don't mind missing the party, because I do love the Tech Master. Still, given the marital situation, I'm not really enjoying family gatherings these days. I'm atually glad for an excuse to avoid them, so I won't have to answer questions or deal with awkward tension.

I suppose I should have waited until my actual OS anniversary to write about what's changed during my first year here. I felt like writing this tonight, though. Who knows what I'll be doing on February 15th?

Happy Saturday Night Blessings and well-wishes,

Eva T.