This has been one of my longest intervals between posts. I haven't forgotten y'all (some OS bloggers will see that I've been reading and commenting) but I haven't known what to write about myself lately. Too many this-and-thats. There's not much of a theme going these days, so I'll just list some random stuff...

Lady Lucia returned from Florida, safe and sound, eight days ago, as promised. She was so busy (truly hitting the ground running, with her day job, chaplaincy and caring for her mother from afar) on return, that I was still feeling like I missed her a week later! We did manage, finally, to have some quality time together, yesterday and today. I appreciated that.

One of the things we did yesterday (Saturday) was a day trip to Philadelphia. We visited one of our Church Posse friends (who is a trained premarital counselor) in order to do some work with him, in preparation for our Commitment Ceremony (which will, most likely, happen at the end of April, 'though Lady Lucia's mother's condition makes all plans, necessarily, tentative). I wish I had done some sort of premarital counseling with my ex(es). It might have helped us avoid some pitfalls...

The visit wasn't all work, of course. We spent social time with our friend and his wonderful cats, too. We ate bar food together in pub with excessively loud music. I drank hard cider, which is what I choose when the wine is too expensive. I like it better than beer.

For those of you who are wondering whether I'm going to do the Radio Theater show directed by my old Theatre Posse friend, Fanboy (who asked me to be in it about a month ago) the answer is yes. The performance will be on March 29th and, during the interval, rehearsals will be on Thursday evenings in Manhattan (some of them at my ex, Iggy's place - Iggy is in the show, too. Others at Fanboy's apartment). My participation has been made feasible because another Theatre Posse friend, Punk Princess, has agreed to let me stay over at her place on rehearsal nights so I won't have to make the long, unsafe schlep back to Dyker Heights at night. Since the peformance is also on a Thursday, it will all work out neatly, except for the sad fact that Lady Lucia won't be able to see the show. Why? Iggy won't tolerate her presence. This is also the reason I can no longer attend family holiday gatherings and might never do so again. Life is really messy and depressing sometimes. But anyway...I'm glad to be dipping my toe back into show biz, as well as getting some more sanity-saving Manhattan time soon...

Lady Lucia's mother is declining fast and she (Lady L) could have to go back to Florida again any day. This one-day-at-a-time stuff is hard for her as well as for me (I'm sure it's horribly hard for Lady Lucia's mother, too, but she's past the point of being able to express her feelings clearly). We are trying to stay on course to the extent that we are able, while also being aware that all plans may be subject to change on little or no notice.

 I will admit that I'm struggling, hard, with depression. Between severe underemployment/rock bottom low income, a neighborhood that really isn't good for me to live in, Lady Lucia's mother's end-of-life stuff and the fact that I'm staring down my 5oth birthday (in two months and 6 days) it's incredibly hard to "accentuate the positive." But yes, Lady Lucia is indeed back home (for however long) and I get to do a show and spend some time with friends in Manhattan. That much is good, and even I can admit it.

Being on OS and reading other people's stories (especially LunchLady's) also reminds me that I have it really easy by comparison to some (many) of youse. That helps me keep things in perspective.

Remember that I'm still here even when I'm not sure what the heck to write about me and my life. I always remember that you are (here, that is).

Blessings and well-wishes,

Eva T.