Eva T. Made Vaudeville

Eva T. Made Vaudeville
Location
New York, New York, USA
Birthday
April 25
Title
Reverend Mother (yes, for real!)
Company
God-squad
Bio
Interfaith Minister/Progressive Episcopal priest.Actress, poet, essayist; fitness freak/geek. Part time acting and dance teacher. Writer for various LGBTQ publications (from my bisexual perspective.) Bronze level competitive ballroom dancer.Extreme Cat Person.Native New Yorker who is madly in love with my city. Currently living in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn and missing Manhattan a lot. Married to my Beloved, the fair Lady Lucia, who works, with me, for the God Squad and for our feline employers, Alice and Gracie.Daughter of some-time OS blogger, Rosy Cheeks.

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NOVEMBER 7, 2012 8:44PM

My Most Dumbass Injuries: Open Call

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A friend of mine posted an "Open Call" of sorts on FaceBook, asking people to enumerate their "most geeky" injuries. She was referring to injuries that happened while people were working with computers and other tech geeky items. I didn't have any of those sorts of injuries to share, but her idea sparked one of my own. Here are four of my most dumbass injuries. Join in the fun if you can relate!

 1. When I was a teen gymnast, I did all sorts of terrifying feats of fly-through-the-air with the greatest of ease; never got hurt doing any of them. What was my big gymnastics injury? I dropped a balance beam on my toe while moving it! Got a big, black, bloody swollen toenail.

 2. Many years ago, I was getting ready to teach my Sunday school class. Several children were already gathered in the classroom. I decided a trip to the Ladies Room was in order, so, off I went to do my business. As I was standing up from the toilet, I smacked my head against the bottom of the paper towel dispenser. Big cut. Big bump. Much bleeding! I lurched out of the Ladies Room, holding wads of paper towel to my bleeding skull, and told the children, "Don't worry. Head cuts bleed a lot but it's just a cut; I'll be okay." My assistant teacher went to the church secretary's office and returned with a First Aid kit to patch me up. The embarrassing part was telling my students how I'd managed to cut my head in the Ladies Room. I did tell them the truth, though. A Sunday school teacher shouldn't lie!

3. While on vacation at a Catskills cottage with my now ex-husband "Iggy," I discovered that a cockroach had made the trip from Manhattan with us and was crawling up the cottage wall. I took off one of my shoes and attempted to whack the roach with it but, instead, slammed my finger into the wall hard enough to sprain it. I had a VERY fat, erxtremely painful middle finger (yes, I had given that cockroach "The Finger") for the rest of that weekend and about a week afterward. 

4. This last one happened just a couple of weeks ago. While preparing to wash my face with Noxzema cleanser, I knocked the jar (a really big jar of Noxzema) off the edge of the bathroom sink and onto my right big toe. It was very badly sprained and, even though I iced it immediately, stayed swollen and painful for a good (well, not so good) week.

  By the way...I am totally psyched that Obama won. Also delighted that three more states (Maine, Maryland and Washington) have voted in favor of marriage equaity for same sex couples. In between horrible storms (we've got a Nor'Easter raging as I write; snow in November!) some hopeful news to brighten the darkness. Onward...hopefully without anymore dumbass injuries. Oh. And thanks to my friend Hippolyta for introducing me to the word "dumbass." There are times when, really, no other word suffices.

Blessings and well-wishes as ever,

Eva T.

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Wow - another thing we have in common: I've also had my share of "dumbass injuries" - but your bathroom one especially is a doozy! I'm glad you're here today and able to tell these tales....

My own most dumbass injury is probably when I was housesitting for my dad a few years ago, and I decided to wash their tile floor and then just nonchalantly decided to stroll across the kitchen - I slipped, flew through the air, and landed on my tailbone. It was kind of scary, because I could have hit my head or something and no one was coming to the house for a few days. The tailbone injury wasn't serious - but man, did it hurt! I couldn't sit straight for weeks after!

This was such a fun read - and also yes, how exciting are all these great new political developments!
Gads? How can One Respond Civilly?
Tears Of Joy Trickling Down Cheeks?
Tears Count Too? Communications?
`
Evil
`
?
`
Evil Folks Corrupt Manners.
I Dare No Convey Perdition.
Pathetic. Malice. Depravity.
`
Path . . .
Ruin . . .
Perdition.
`
I am tempted to?
Speak of bones?
Left calf-bone?
`
Fibula is broke.
Flesh heals slow.
No Contemptuous.
I'll No Give Details.
`
My 'Shrink' ask me?
`
You Speak To Staff?
`
Response?
VAMC Staff?
Muy ` Kooky!
`
I No Share # Pharm
Rx ` Plant-medicine,
Nor Be Locked-Up!`
'
pharmacia . . .
it's a Spirit's
Ream-Weird.
Look Up
`
WEIRD
`
?
I Go snore.
No Wake?
Dead ghost.
`
Evil Torments.
Visit a ` VAMC.
Talk ` Wounded.
`
I crave` Peace.
Folk need` Calm.
No Be` Deraved.
`
I popping off` gin
It's Soup Time` gin.
No act ` a `Drunkard.
Gads? How can One Respond Civilly?
Tears Of Joy Trickling Down Cheeks?
Tears Count Too? Communications?
`
Evil
`
?
`
Evil Folks Corrupt Manners.
I Dare No Convey Perdition.
Pathetic. Malice. Depravity.
`
Path . . .
Ruin . . .
Perdition.
`
I am tempted to?
Speak of bones?
Left calf-bone?
`
Fibula is broke.
Flesh heals slow.
No Contemptuous.
I'll No Give Details.
`
My 'Shrink' ask me?
`
You Speak To Staff?
`
Response?
VAMC Staff?
Muy ` Kooky!
`
I No Share # Pharm
Rx ` Plant-medicine,
Nor Be Locked-Up!`
'
pharmacia . . .
it's a Spirit's
Ream-Weird.
Look Up
`
WEIRD
`
?
I Go snore.
No Wake?
Dead ghost.
`
Evil Torments.
Visit a ` VAMC.
Talk ` Wounded.
`
I crave` Peace.
Folk need` Calm.
No Be` Deraved.
`
I popping off` gin
It's Soup Time` gin.
No act ` a `Drunkard.
&
Well? a deep subject.
Comment no Go`sin.
No sip brandy` brew!
Alysa: Thanks for reading and commenting during this busy, stressful time! Oh. And your dumbass injury reminded me of another one of mine (thinking of pain in the tailbone). When I was about 16, I think, I was at the movies; getting ready to sit down. There must have been something very slippery (maybe pseudo-butter from popcorn) on the floor, because, instead of sitting down in my seat, I skidded and landed (hard on the tailbone) on top of the arm-rest. Owwww!!!
Art James:
Art's artifice is such
stuff as bad dreams are made on and made much
more of a muchness than the dreams that come
from gone-bad deep-fried foods and rumbled rum.

What is the injury and which the cure?
Can only purest perjury and perfect purrs endure
the parted parts if which the sum is: some (but not all, or, at least, not sure?)
You see the way the wayward poesey goes. Free verse is free for some and yet for other some (as Shakespeare might have said) it costs and arm, a leg; a nose...
There is no other way
to say these things today
and so...it goes.