Tuesday night was a big night!
Huge!
With ramifications on the highest of orders!
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid won! Which is a huge, huge win!....
….But it’s a towering, ginormous, big-scary-dinosaur-sized loss, too!
As you can probably tell, I did a little channel surfing Election night.
Mostly between CNN, MSNBC and the Fox Network. Where I learned that every giant rejection! was also -- depending on how you looked at it -- a frothing at the mouth endorsement!
Also, Randy Quaid and his wife are political refugees!
(Sorry, Joy Behar was interviewing them. Was there something more important going on?)
By far, the award for Most Helpful Political Analysis goes to Wolf Blitzer, who -- as usual -- used Election Night to debut a shiny new toy designed specially by modern science to be shiny and toy-like. We will never forget the holograms of 2008, which was groundbreaking in that it allowed CNN correspondents to pretend they were on Star Trek.
This year, it was "What If?" - a feature which allowed Blitzer to show exactly what the red/blue breakdown of the country would look like if -- for some reason -- people had decided to vote differently than they did. Which they did not.
Blitzer was also particularly adept at -- before making a projection -- pausing for the special Projection Music.
For many reasons, CNN was where it was at. Not just because of their "Decision Desk" featured people with names like Joe Johns and Erik Erikson. I'm definitely buying what they're selling. But also because they had a secret weapon: Elliot Spitzer smiling like a jackass.
There was much talk of the marijuana initiative on the ballots in California. Like many people, I was extremely disappointed that no one picked up on the potentially hilarious wordplay of “high user turnout.”
I'm not sure why I like CNN. Maybe it's Blitzer's tendency to refer to all the new Representatives as "attractive young men." Maybe it's the terrifying reminder over-population that only 45 publicity starved pundits shoved around one giant desk and interrupting one another can truly provide. Maybe it's that the whole thing was un-ironically sponsored by our good friends at Exxon-Mobile.
Whatever the case, I know this. Something happened Tuesday night. I don't know exactly what it was. But it was really fucking big.
Ps -- lots more to say on the Election, but I'm saving it for my next post, a reflection on what it was like to be on the National Mall for Inauguration tentatively entitled, "I saved my pee for this?"
Ps -- lots more to say on the Election, but I'm saving it for my next post, a reflection on what it was like to be on the National Mall for Inauguration tentatively entitled, "I saved my pee for this?"
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