Okay. Can we talk about how Willow Smith is a prophet?

Here's why:
1. She's nine years old.
2.  She doesn't let "haters" get her off "her grind."
3.  She whips her hair.

I was thinking about Willow Smith because I'm starting to compile my Annual List of People I May have Trashed when I Knew Literally Nothing about Them.

To clarify, this has nothing to do with most people about whom I make immediate, cruel snap judgments.  Because frankly, I'm always right. And if I'm wrong I simply don't have time to hear about it.  That's their loss. And reputation. 

But more about Willow Smith.

1.  Willow Smith is named Willow Smith so people know she's related to her father, Will Smith.
2.  Speaking of Will Smith: Will is actually short for "Willard."
3. Also, he actually is "West Philadelphia born and raised."
4.  I'm on Wikipedia because I don't actually know anything about Willow Smith. 

But I think we can surmise things about her beyond her mortifying older brother.  That's an example of me trashing someone I don't know.  What's his name? Eh, who cares.

My main point is: Willow Smith whips her hair around.  But not like some poser.  She whips it back and forth.

This is crucially important, people.  She is making a point.  Because nine-year-olds can make points.  Like "Hi," and "I'm hungry," and "I'm in fourth grade."  And other things that qualify her to be a youth ambassador to Project Zambia along with her older brother.  See? I do know something about him. 

Yes, a nine-year-old is launching her career before you even though you're 25 and had nothing to do with the movie "Wild Wild West."   And your dad didn't star in "Hitch" as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens.  But let's not hold it against her because honestly, the song is kind of cool and the music video makes her a little "L'il" Mama.  And features one of those awesome dance circles where a baby is trapped between 20 people frantically whipping their hair and no one calls child services.

And a teacher has, like, a seizure.  What is up with that?  Is that because of the hair whipping?

So in sum, if I were to say one thing -- and also were President of the United States -- I would say this:
"Hop up out the bed turn my swag on/
Pay no attention to them haters/
Because we whip em off/
And we ain’t doin nothin wrong."

Okay. I'm going to go whip my hair.  You do the same.