I don't know if you're aware of this, but I already have your menu. You see two days ago, as I was arriving home, I found two or three of them stuffed inside my mailbox.  They went straight into my recycling bin seeing as two days prior  I had found three of the very same documents shoved strategically in the part in my iron fence that curls seemingly for the sole purpose of serving as a convenient holder for continued solicitations of your take out curriculum vitae.  

I'm not sure if your prices have gone down or if the design aesthetic differs from the first of 1100 menus placed at my door in a way that's meant to blow my fucking art snob socks off, but I can assure that out of the two Middle Eastern restaurants in the general vicinity you're one of my favorites. If I am in the mood for Middle Eastern Cuisine I shall go to your location between Lincoln Place and St. John's Place or call in advance to order a "chicken kebab" or "lambajin pizza," provided I don't think about going to Pita Pan first for some falafel or schwarma.

I consider The Olive Vine Cafe to be the Department of Homeland Security of local Middle-eastern restaurants, in that I'm always on high alert that you provide "catering for all occasions" thanks to your constant folded paper reminders. Speaking of special occasions, I have a birthday coming up and though I don't often find myself pining for your "chicken ouzi"  or "combination salad" I'm sure you'd be willing to provide it if someone were to call you and let you know that someone at my address was requesting it.  I have the utmost faith that you will be able to deliver, though to be honest that faith was slightly bruised that one time I called for a "chicken kebab" and  it took two hours to get here, despite the fact it was being made just down the block.

I've moved past that grudge as you've won me over with your frequent print overtures boasting "FREE DELIVERY" and the fact that you're open from "11am -11pm," which just so happen to be my prime operating hours. If you're planning on using those prime operating hours to bring over some more menu reminders why not bring some baklava to share and we can discuss the rampant deforestation of our earth.  I like Baklava.

Sincerely,
Evan J. Kessler