I'm not one for skilled first date small talk. I too often err on the side of the irreverent. While some potential mates want to talk about career, ambition and strength of familial relations during that getting to know all about you phase ; my affections are ultimately won over by the ability to engage in conversations bordering on ridiculous, hypothetical and sometimes slightly disturbing.
Sometimes this penchant for whimsical and philosophical discussion gives way to uncomfortable moments. On one such date, after being grilled about things mostly sentimental in nature, I took the hint of an awkward silence to pose a pertinent (or impertinent to some) quandary to the member of the opposite sex on the opposite side of the table as she slowly sipped her second lager of the evening:
"If you had to have sex with any member of the same sex, who would it be?"
This to me has always been a valid question that offers valuable insight into a person's thought process. Granted it wasn't a question that I had really ever asked anyone on a date, but weeks later it would inspire a nearly two-hour long debate amongst friends at a dinner party.
On this occasion however, my date took the opportunity to pause and reflect or as any mildly-skilled interpreter of human reaction might say, deflect the question entirely. I took her silence as my cue to give my answer.
"Personally, if I had to be taken by another man. I would probably be okay if it were one of two people; Paul Newman (alive at the time) or George Clooney. It's just the fact that both of them are so damn charming; real man's men. They'd tell you to get undressed and you'd probably want to at that point. It wouldn't be forceful and at the end you'd have been romanced into doing it. And as long as there's romance and that melting feeling, I'm generally okay with it. Because in the end it's Clooney...and hey, Paul Newman! Not bad right?"
"So...yeah...Clooney and Newman are my two."
The conversation never really recovered and the girl left when the final sip was drained from her glass, but from what I could surmise my date didn't have much of a sense of humor and was looking to get married in the next five months to someone who looked at life in the most sobering fashion and wasn't secure enough in their sexuality to hypothetically give their flower to a deserving member of the same sex.
I'm not seeing anyone right now, but if I were they'd have to have a healthy and lustful appreciation for anyone from Natalie Portman to Oprah Winfrey, because I could see reasons for women to be attracted to either.