I've been hearing a lot of people yammerin' on callin' Democratic Senatorial Candidate for the State of Connecticut Richard Blumenthal's Vietnam war experience into question. A lot of people don't think the Connecticut Attorney General knows anything about being in 'Nam despite his claims that he served. They say them's false claims.

Well, my name is Sgt. Evan Kessler and I ain't but 31-years old, but I know a thing or two about Richard Blumenthal's military exploits. You see, me and Richard Blumenthal saw some shit down in Kaison and Pyongyang.  We served together like a regular band of brothers.  Did you see Platoon? Casualties of War? Full Metal Jacket? Shit was just like that. We listened to The Doors, smoked some hash, and constantly faced attacks from Charlie in all directions, man.  It was some shit.

This one time Blumenthal and I were riding in our standard military-issue jeep listening to Adrian Cronauer's radio show (you know the one where he screamed "Good Morning Vietnam") and we went right into a damned land mine. It blew our damned vehicle to pieces I tell you, but we made it out alive.  The funny thing is the bits and scraps of shrapnel from our exploding vehicle took out maybe 6 or 7 VC bastards. They more or less committed suicide.  We got out of there unscathed and ran back to base. They was calling us heroes, but we ain't no heroes.  The real heroes are those guys that didn't make it back: Jonesy, Haberdasher, Patterson, Luftwaffer.

Old Blumey was my best friend. We'd be trudging through rice paddies and throwing the frisbee around talking about our hopes and dreams for the future if we ever did get out alive.  He always talked about being a Senator from the great state of Connecticut. Me I always wanted to settle down with a nice woman, white picket fence, a couple of kids. My dream ain't come true yet, but at least it didn't die face down in the muck like it almost did.

You see, one day I was walking through the jungle with my platoon when a spray of Charlie gunfire took out my legs. There was mortar and hellfire all around.  I didn't know what to do 'cept lay down and die.  Dick Blumenthal saved my gourd. He slung me over his shoulder and swore he'd get me out alive. He ran and ran until he got a bullet in the butt, but he made it back to them helicopters.  Me, I lost my legs, but at least I got my life.  I owe that all to Blumey. He's a hero. You don't need a purple heart to be one of those, you just need a pulse. So if you're gonna stand here and tell me that Richard Blumenthal didn't serve his country during 'Nam, I'll tell you this.  None of us served our country...our country served us...up on a silver platter to Charlie and those damned commie bastards hiding in the jungle. We didn't want to be there.  We had to be there. Richard Blumenthal had to be there or else I wouldn't have made it out alive.

Now ol' Blume is one step away from being a Democratic Senator from the great State of Connecticut and you want to take that away from him? Aw hell Blume, if they do that you can come work on my shrimpin' boat in the gulf, that is if you like pickin' oil off shrimp.