
When it comes to strip bars, anything can happen. Here is a list of six embarrassing moments that actually did.
Twirling on the pole at the edge of the runway stage, my stomach was tight and legs wrapped around in the air. Suddenly my right heel slips off and goes flying in the crowd. I continue to dance with one bare foot (on my tip toe to balance the six inch difference). What a professional.
Gassy Girl
This title is reserved for a petite little Taiwanese gal. She stood all of five feet and her ass sounded like a broken muffler. Talk about little spark plug.
She was a young mother and still breast feeding. Need I say more?
Don't quit your day job
Toward the end of my career at 27, I took a job waiting tables during the week. I cut my stripping hours down to the weekends as I tried to transition to the real world of minimum wage and time cards.
When word got out of my weekend stripping life, all three restaurant managers came in the club to check me out. I was completely naked and bent over taking a tip when I recognized their faces upside down, smiling at me from the front door. I waved hello and continued on stage. From that night on, I always got my requested restaurant shifts.
Electric Tooth
I had a regular customer who came in every Friday afternoon from work. He was an electrician and giggled when he got nervous. A harmless man who I thought was too kind for the strip scene, so I never bothered to tell him about his one discolored, glowing fake tooth. Black lights and dental work do not mix. Remember that one fellas.

Excuse me, I can see…
© Copyright Christine Macdonald. All rights reserved.


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Comments
Thanks so much.
Like the ones with small boobs who act like they are hiding boulders under their costume and leave us wondering "Is that all there is?".
By the way, there is nothing wrong with small boobies. I enjoy all shapes and sizes myself. It's more that some babes don't accept what they have in the right way.
I was a biology major in school and later on became a professional in the field of cytopathology. My actual job entailed screening pap smears. Now here is the catch. I had to and have studied an seen the female anatomy so much that I can turn myself on and off like a light switch. That is I can become jaded. I mean the most beautifull woman in the world can walk up to me and strip and I can view her as if she had kept all her clothes on.
Oh, I almost forgot, I have only been to one strip join in my life. I mean the guys that I saw the one time that I did go were purely losers. And I would imagine that that holds true for any male on all economic levels. But I guess it is just a form of adult male entertainment, but I can't enjoy a woman with a hundred or more other guys looking on, But I guess it is part of being one of the guys. Sorry to put a damper on things guys, but I personally think you are all losers. And those strippers are taking you for the suckers that you are. You fucking losers. LMAO
Who says who is the weaker sex ?
03/25/2010 Burgess Dillard
Very funny stuff!
We now live in a world where sexuality is treated as a cheap commodity and many know more than they ever want to know about things they'd rather not have learned because there is an industry that eats people whole to cheapen the lives of the many all in the interest of a greedy few.
My grandmother had a useful word for this: common.
Again, I in no way disrespect this work of the women in it, I just want to hear the truth 'beyond the surface.'
My grandmother would have said "common" too, however, class is something you have based on character, no matter what you chose to do for a living. Judgment is also masked as projection at times.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
@Kathy - You are absolutely right. There is always a deeper story. I am working hard on my memoir, which will unmask my own. Thank you so much for your comment!
@Begging - Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I assure you, you won't need to beg for long. There is always a deeper reality with the women who chose to strip. My own story will be unveiled soon. To be brief; it's about self-worth, or lack thereof. It is a story how I got to such a place where I was so desensitized by the 'sex show' but never lost my spirit. I started dancing to validate myself and fight inner self worth demons. I walked away when I realized all I needed to do was see myself clearly.
I saw a sigh that one night is wet T- shirt night. I can do that.
I'll take a roll of copper pennies for garden bibs and leg belts.
I was one night in Bangkok and just watched but no did touch.
I researched the culture and the reasons Why. Very interesting.
I can close my eyes to still see a beautiful peasant dancing there.
She danced gracefully with two beeswax candles. I was very awed.
`
I go once a month (NOT to dance or watch tho) to Borders Books magazine rack. I bought Spring Issue `
TRICYLE. I bought it because I saw an article by Wendy Johnson on `Gardening. She interviewed me in the eighties. I'll e-mail her. She isn't a dancer?
She is a writer,
Maybe a acupuncturist?
I hope Wendy Johnson don't drop needles down clients towel that is wrapped around buttocks.
That happened to me once.
She drops a needle in behind.
The needle stuck in my cleavage.
She was shy and could not retrieve.
The needle kept slipping downward.
`
foci?
okay.
REVIEW:`
Bangkok Days:`Sojourn in The Capital Of Pleasure. By Lawrence Osborn. It gets into his thoughts on the "aging white male' and women who make money with sexual exploits. I have only read the Review:`
In bar after bar, he records his own and his friends' relentless search or rather quest
for intimacy in which intimacy played No part, and their fabously articulate perorations, mostly about sex.'
It's gets into the literature ref no condemnation etc', It's a 'touchy' topic. There are sacred temples and holy woman etc'. I learning?
`
I was in Waki o Wacky -o. tease. Whay a beach resort town that is?
But, my son was working on a Taro root crop (staple "potato" root). The most gorgeous Woman ask me`You would like a Father/Son tryst with me?
Well. Son? by!
tease. I ask me?
How much? free!
No. She went on and on about what my greenbacks would buy. My son thought I was gonna but him and me a bowl of mashed potato? We still giggle about what we should have bought. She was too free?She was expensive.
I went home horny.
She may be you. Ay!
erotic? groundwork?
I may email Wendy Johnson and ask to copy a article about Planting Trees,
and Gandhi,
Dr. E.F. Shumacher:`
Small is Beautiful.
He's an economist.
Wendy Johnson web is:`
www.gardeningatthedragonsgate.com
But, there is a good book review? Interesting.
I know some college student dance in W.V..
I know K- Street politico's go to toss money.
Politicians rob poor people and put in bibs.
I hope YOU use Ya money wisely. Thanks.
I hope I don't miss you tell us more.
I love a lassy with the classy chassee.
I am not making light or jesting this.
It's a wild wild world cause/effects.
I hope a sexy post goes somewhere.
I got lost again ref Anger & Homer.
fingerlakeswanderer ref:`Anger.
Criticizing "sex work", although I don't think exotic/erotic dancing really earns that title, should be directed towards those who are victimized in that work, and the men who do the victimizing.
Thanks for sharing your stories;I look forward to reading more. And good luck with your sure to be entertaining memoir!
On the whole, clothes are a useful invention.
Neat stories, Christine.
However, I thought the funniest part of this was the ad for teeth whiteners just above the comments section.lol
The neon tampon string is stuck forever in my mind's eye, however....
I remember one stripper who was a little older and not much of a dancer. She marched around the stage, like one does in a high school marching band. That was her act. And she did it so proudly and boldly. I mean, it was half march/half dance but wholly unsexy.
But her commitment was amazing. She was kind of stunning, in her own strange way. Certainly marching to the beat of a different drummer.
I noticed something about you that surpasses the judgemental posters(posers?).
Unlike them, you are clearly able to laugh at yourslef.
So am I and. it makes most things a lot easier.