I’m here……I’m FINALLY here………writing. Actually writing.

You see, I have been lurking for several months now. All the while, I was finishing a silly little “how to” ebook. I told myself, my reward would be to write on OS, but first I had to finish this other writing thang!

Months of editing, photo doctoring, and pausing more often than I should… to laugh with Freaky Troll. It was hard to go back to my project, sometimes,  ‘cause Verbal made me think. Mr. Justis made me cry. Monti made me think about my faith. T bucket made me reflect. Sandra no longer miller, marytkelly, cartouche, pretend farmer, odetteroulette, Lisa, Jodi, Persephone, Joan and other ladies of OS, I have related to so many of y’all’s words. Then, of course, there’s squirrel and Sheldon.  Lord, how you boys make this ole’ lady smile. Trust me, baby, trust me, there’s folks out there that look forward to your ramblings.

I will never be as brilliant a writer as y’all but I gotta lot of stories to tell.

And Tequila and Donuts, Oh T & D, you truly have a comic’s heart and have been my hero for a while now. A few martinis, and great cake, we could share some seriously funny parent and son stories. And Dallas?… I grew up there. You’ve made me want to share even though I, too, lack experience. I wanna try even if my cornbread is a little doughy in the middle.

Then there’s Hillbilly Aunt Shelle. Guess what? I’m in Central Arkansas, too. You are what brought me to OS in the first place and I say thank you for that, but even more thanks for the wonderful stories of North Arkansas.

I’m a Dallas girl who fell in love with a good-ole’-boy (the late, first, no wait…second hubby) from South Arkansas who brought me here over 30 years ago. And I can tell you, some day I’m gonna live on one of those Ozark Mountains! Being an ole’ hippy, Eureka Springs has always felt real comfortable. Third (and current) hubby and I honeymooned in Eureka and Lord, how I love it. He’s an actor and I told him he could be the oldest Jesus ever to perform at the Passion Play.

Well, last week I finished the little ebook and I’ve already sold some, so now it’s time to celebrate. I’m now gonna write for me. Got stories to tell. Many stories that have been building up in me for too many years. Too many years of working for the man, dealing with small town politics, taking care of others. Stories about all of those people and my roller coaster life.

Now it’s my turn. Maybe, if I don’t have to cook tonight. Or baby-sit the grandbabies. Or work at the community garden, we started last year. Or spring clean my yard. Or teach those garden art classes, in my yard that needs to be cleaned up. Or plan those birthday parties. (The son is turning 30 and the grandboy is turning one.) Or make a casserole for that potluck next week. Or create that next inspiring piece of art. (The reward of “creating” comes only after I finish the damn income tax.) 

You see, like so many of y’all here on OS, I’ve been caught up (or should I say put down) by this sucky economy. I’m an artist. Not a great one, but a sincere one. A very sincere and determined artist. And I’m determined it’s my turn. I’ve been working on my little art business for 6 years now and last year…like so may others… almost put me under. Folks don’t buy art, nor do they take classes, if they have no discretionary income. Go figure. But to pay a few bucks for an instructional little book that will save them hundreds of dollars…..well… there, is a possibility. So I started writing. And low and behold, folks are buying it. And now that it’s done, I kinda liked writing it. And to my great surprise, I had a booth last week at the Arkansas Flower and Garden Show and people were buying my little ebook. Even better they were buying my art! I sold 15 pieces. Unheard of - in all of my 6 years as a “self-proclaimed” artist. (Bless Obama’s heart, I think there’s hope again.)

OH MY GAWD!!! They liked me! ….. They really, really liked me! (Or should I say they liked my work. Ever since Sally Field gave that damn acceptance speech, I’ve wanted to say that.)

(Weinie, the Watch Dog)

Most of my professional (I hate that word) life has been in bureaucratic bullshit positions. A few time I veered off in the entrepreneurial direction, with great but brief successes. There have been some interesting twists along the way. I plan on sharing. And I DON’T plan on returning to that professional life. So I write.

And maybe, just maybe, some of y’all will read and enjoy. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’ll let y’all tell me which stories you’d like to read and I’ll start there. In these post-menopausal days, I just want to create art and write. Paying the bills will help. (Please Lord, Let folks continue to buy my art so I can write. Amen)

Perhaps someone would like to hear the other side of the story about what happened the first week Tony Dorsett was in Dallas. He got kicked out of a disco for hitting me. Good thing the Cowboys paid me off with a whopping $50.

Then there’s the story about my paternal “wild-woman” Grandma. Seems she had a fling with Al Capone. After Daddy died, the lawyers tell me it seems I’m the daughter of the illegitimate son of big Al. Pretty wild news for a 30-something mommy living in south Arkansas. Then the psychic told me she had been my guardian angel since I was 4. Bless MY heart!

Or that good ole boy bringing this “way-too-in-love” Dallas (can we say CITY?)  girl to the deer camp, her first stop in Arkansas.

Incredible girlfriends with some pretty funny stories, themselves. Of course, the names will be changed to protect the innocent. (Innocent my ass, these girls make the sweet potato queens look like amateurs.) …But I’ll still change the names ‘cause they’ll kick my ….well, you know.

My third wedding, with 13 middle-aged bridesmaids in flowered dresses. I wore purple 'cause I could.

Those will be among the easy (and pretty damn funny) stories to tell. The difficulty will be the ones about cancer, or my baby dieing in my arms. Daddy’s will resulting with me sitting in a witness chair and being accused of killing him. (First jury trial in 18 years in the Mississippi court system, for a contested will.) My home burning a week before Christmas when I was 6 months pregnant. Young widowhood. (Well there are some funny stories there, too.)

Yep, like so many of y’all, my life has been a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs but always surviving. My survival (and reward) is now to write. Please be easy on me. I can talk all day long (and have been paid to do so) but writing personal stories is new to me.

I know y’all because I’ve been lurking for a while. I hope y’all will let me in the fold. Nothing would tickle me more. I just want to tell a few stories before I forget. And maybe, just maybe, y’all will like me…really, really like me.

This first post wasn’t so hard. Once I got going, I couldn’t shut up. Too damn long….. I finally just had to quit. I’m gonna like this writing thang!