The weekend is almost over. Thank ya, sweet jesus!

Damn, let’s start with Friday.

I held my hypertufa class with little ladies, in my backyard. It’s an all-day-gig and as much as I love it, it wears me out. In a good way, but physically...whew! For one thing, I am standing all day. That’s 8 hours and I’m just not the girl who worked out with Jane Fonda, back in the 80’s. Keep in mind, I drove to Dallas, went to a live workshop with the “feel the burn” bitch, in person. Then I drove back to Arkansas. After the 5-hour trip, I couldn’t roll out of the car. Every muscle in my body was locked clean up. That’s kinda how runnin’ a solid 8 hours, does me now! My ladies are always great and very appreciative… That always eases the pain, but… As we were loading the planters and stepping-stones, they had made in class, into their cars, my good friend from the neighborhood, pulled up.

“Flamingo, Your man is in the emergency room. Seems they have been trying to get a hold of you. I’m here to take ya there.”

After I got my heart out of my throat, I asked what had happened. I “heard” he put a nail in his foot. “Let me change shirts and wash my hands and face.” (I was covered in Portland cement and peat moss. A dirty gray ghosty kinda look.)

As I went about the business of trying to get semi-decent, thoughts raced through my over-active-imagination-mind. Do I need to bring crutches? Must be pretty bad, to warrant a trip to the emergency room. Damn, the hub is accident-prone. Damnit, I have a ton of things to do to prepare for tomorrow’s class. I have to do this all over again, tomorrow. I don’t have time for this, damnit. Oh, get the book! I know how hospitals are. We will be waiting forever. I’ll need something to read. 

Five minutes later, I was out the door and in my friend’s truck. He tells me what’s going on. Seems hub put a nail through his finger. Damn! I thought you said foot. Ok, I bet it’s not that bad! I can breathe a tad better.

There’s nothing like a trip to the hospital on a Friday afternoon, during the wonderful 5 o’clock traffic. And my friend drives like a little ole’ man. Oh damn! He is a little ole’ man. I tell myself, it’s ok, Hub is fine. Don’t panic.

We park in a handicap spot because there is absolutely nothing left. As we are entering the hospital, looking over our shoulders for the parking police, we have to go through a metal detector. OMG! Since when are hospitals under terrorist threats? My patience is being strained a tad. But I force the most ridiculous smile to the hospital cop to let him know I understand he is “just doing his job.” While my thought was “do you think I look like a terrorist? Damn, boy, I am a chubby beet-red-in-the-face (Oh, I forgot to mention … the humidity was about 130% and I was one hot momma, during this excitement) grandmother.”

And finally we arrive to the little room where hub is on the gurney with his hand on a tray and the doctor attending. DAMN!!! The nail is completely through his damn finger. I’m talking a 16-penny nail. It looked like a Halloween gag trick. Like the fake arrow through the head that Steve Martin use to wear. Hub had shot himself with a nail gun. DAMN! The pain meds were starting to take effect and hub is funny and pissy at the same time. The doctor takes her forceps and jerks that sucker clean out! DAMN! A second x-ray shows no permanent damage. Whew! My dear friend leaves, because he hates when folks park in the handicap spots, when they shouldn’t. We both were afraid of the parking police coming after us. I let him know I’m ok and I can get the man home just fine.

We decide to get his prescriptions filled while we are out. The great nurse told us to use Kroger or Wal-Mart and get the $4 dollar deal. Okey-dokey. And of course, we get there 15 minutes after the Kroger pharmacy closes. Off to Wal-Mart, we go. Friday night at Wal-Mart. It’s going to take about 30 minutes to fill… so we shop. Here I am in Wal-Mart, tired, hungry, dirty, and with a man who’s higher than a kite on pain meds. We made the mistake of going to the garden center, A few tools, (actually several tools) birdseed, and gloves, later, we return to the pharmacy. Another 10 minutes. Oh, I need ink for my printer. Oh, and some makeup. Finally the medicine is ready. I let high-man get his meds and I take off for a quick checkout. As we are pushing the buggy out the door, high-man says we saved $9 with the $4 plan. My reply? “Oh, that’s nice dear, but we spent $139 while we were waiting. I believe, Walgreen’s would have been a tad cheaper.”

Then we go to a new pizza place in town. OMG, every family with 5 or more children, is there. Nope, don’t think so. Two more restaurants. Now, I am remembering why we avoid “eating out” on Fridays. We finally find a restaurant that we can actually sit down and have a quick bite for dinner.

It’s 10 pm by the time we get home and I have 4 messages from ladies enrolled in my backyard class for the next day, Saturday. DAMN! They are worried about the 60% chance of rain. I get on the Internet and decide not to make a decision until the next morning. After a crappy night, of the hub’s moaning (yes, he’s “one of those that leans toward extremely low resistance to pain”) and my worrying about the damn weather, I finally just get up at 6 am and start cruising the National Weather Service website, again.

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SHIT!!

There’s an 80% chance of rain all day. SHIT! SHIT! I hate to cancel class. I have two ladies that were suppose to be in last month’s class but it rained and I had to move them to this Saturday. SHIT! SHIT! I also have 3 ladies coming from 2 hours away. So I have to make a decision. I cancel the class. SHIT! I really need the money. SHIT! And all that wonderful chicken salad, I had made for the ladies’ lunch. SHIT! The part that really sucks is I can hear the disappointment in their precious voices. They were looking forward to a girls’ day. They were looking forward to playing in the mud with the flamingo. SHIT! One lady, I had left a message with, shows up. SHIT! She was precious and extremely understanding. SHIT! Nothing worse than feeling like shit and someone is nice about driving 2 hours to a class that’s been cancelled.

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Did it rain?…. HELL NO! NADDA! Why can’t they get it right? I sat here on this computer, reading OS, and cussing the weathermen, all day!

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Now it’s Sunday night, the sun is setting. I can honestly say, I’m looking forward to Monday. That mean’s this weekend is over.

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Oh Hell, I forgot. I’m going to Riverfest next weekend! Gonna see, Buddy Guy, one night and Heart, another. Might even see Willie Nelson. Hub is working backstage. Extra money and fringe benefits. Old friends are coming in from out of town. Whew! Something to look forward to……..

Shit! Think I’ll take a bubble bath.

Damn! Desperate Housewives finale, tonight.

Hell! A bit of Crown and Coke, and all will be right with the world ….

Life is good………… Again....for now, anyway.

update: Hub read the story and informed me it was a  16 penny nail, not a 10. So there!