An Open Dialogue on Race II
Note: This post is a response to a recent post by RonP01, who suggested we open a dialogue on Open Salon on the subject of race. You can view RonP01's post here:
http://open.salon.com/blog/ronp01/2009/05/12/buchanan_cheney_and_limbaugh_attack_colin_powell
In his post, RonP01 posits this hypothesis:
Racism isn't about color, it's about power.
(See my hypothesis below.) RonP01 and I have been in touch to set ground rules by which this dialogue should take place.
Ground rules for participating comments in the open dialogue on race:
1. ABSOLUTELY NO PERSONAL ATTACKS
2. NAME-CALLING OR FINGER-POINTING ARE PROHIBITED
3. READ COMMENT(S) THOROUGHLY BEFORE RESPONDING
4. STANDARD OPEN SALON RULES APPLY
5. VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED
***
HYPOTHESIS:
Racism isn't just political -- It's personal.
Last March, in a hotel room in the Caribbean, as ocean waves swept the shore just a few feet away, my husband, all three sons and I piled on the hotel bed, competing to get a good view of the TV screen. Meanwhile, back in our hometown of Philadelphia, at the Constitution Center we’d visited on numerous school field trips, Barack Obama delivered a speech. This address had been billed as a response to the controversy surrounding Obama’s relationship with the outspoken minister Rev. Jeremiah Wright. We didn’t know then that Obama’s speech would prove to be both historic and deeply personal.
My whole family supported Obama (well, except my oldest son, who at that time supported Dennis Kucinich), so we were all worried about the damage caused by the barrage of YouTube videos of Rev. Wright. “It’s over for Obama,” my husband said, bracing for disappointment.
We all listened intently to Obama’s words. I furrowed my brow and leaned forward toward the flickering TV.
The speech, entitled “A More Perfect Union,” spoke of our Constitution, our nation’s “original sin of slavery,” his campaign’s goal “to continue the long march . . . toward a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America.” He said, “We may have different stories but we hold common hopes.”
I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, a white girl in a predominantly white section of Queens, New York. My parents were good liberals; they taught me to admire Martin Luther King; they taught me to say, “Negro,” not “colored.” They taught me to be courteous and respectful, to include everyone, to avoid confrontation, that it was impolite to talk about someone else’s race or color. The very word race was dirty. My father said we’re all one race, the human race.
It was in kindergarten, in a circle game, that I first held hands with a black girl. Her name was Delores. When the game was over and our hands slid apart, I secretly opened my hand and peeked, to find out if Delores’s color had come off on my hand, like paint.
Obama’s speech continued, speaking about the reactions to Wright’s comments. ‘The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we’ve never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect.”
Another memory, one I wish I could forget, this one from junior high. My best friend Dorothy, a quiet black girl who sat with me in the back of the art room, who served on literary magazine and yearbook with me, and who later would go on to do Pre-Med at Radcliffe. Dorothy and I shared stories about our unreasonable teachers and our lame old-fashioned parents who didn’t understand us, but we had never discussed race.
Then one day in class someone said something -- I don't even remember what, but it had definite racist overtones -- and Dorothy fled the room in tears. I followed her into the hallway, hugged her, and said just about the stupidest, most insensitive thing I could ever have said, "Don't take it personally."
The day after Martin Luther King was assassinated, I slunk into our homeroom, hiding behind my hair, wishing to be invisible, afraid to let my eyes confront Dorothy’s slender face. When she entered the classroom, I looked at her – and said nothing.
“But I have asserted a firm conviction . . . that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice if we are to continue on the path toward a more perfect union.”
It is so many years later and I’ve had many friends, of many different backgrounds and in many different contexts, since Dorothy and Delores. And yet those inarticulate, shameful moment swith Dorothy haunt me.
All these years later, I’m still uncomfortable talking frankly about issues related to race.
There it is again, that dirty word, race. Of course race has no scientific meaning, and my father was right, we are all one race.
And yet there are some issues we need to talk about, frankly and honestly, if we want to move forward as a people.
Because of course it IS personal.
So some brutal honesty:
I’m ashamed that sometimes friends and acquaintances express prejudiced views in my presence, with a wink and a nod, and my reaction is a puny, polite rejection, not as strong a response as I would want.
I’m ashamed that sometimes I judge people far too quickly and for superficial reasons.
I’m ashamed at how little I know my own prejudices, all the ways big and small that my worldview has been shaped, warped, sometimes completely distorted by my own myopic point of view.
I’m sure I don’t have any idea how deep my own prejudices go.
I don't consider myself racist, but, like someone who lives near the train tracks, sometimes I can't hear what's right outside my window.
And if I have not gotten past all the scars and continuing effects of our dismal history concerning race – how can I expect anyone else, especially a person of color, to get past those scars either?
“For we have a choice in this country,” Obama continued, “We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy – as we did in the aftermath of Katrina – or as fodder for the nightly news . . . We can do that. . . Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, ‘Not this time.’”
On top of that crowded hotel bed, I knew I’d been changed. “Not this time,” I said to myself. This time, this time, for once in my 53 years of life, I decided no longer to be so polite. If there was to be a national conversation on the subject of race, I would prepare to be a part of it, to step out of my comfort zone and examine my own heart.
A few weeks later, back in Philadelphia, I stood in front of that same Constitution Center with thousands of Obama supporters, our feet sore from hours of expectant waiting, to cheer the sight of the man who would (as it turns out) be our next President. My youngest son, standing in the front row, snapped a photo and shook Obama's hand. (See above. Isn't it great?) And all of that was so inspiring and unforgettable.
But the dialogue never came.
So I invite my OS friends to help get a dialogue started, an open conversation between everyday people. Be honest with yourself, but please observe the ground rules set above. I believe by sharing our stories, we can come one step closer to understanding.
Here are some questions to get us started:
What are the obstacles to personal understanding between Americans of diverse racial backgrounds?
Did a misunderstanding keep you from connecting with someone?
Did a fear of confrontation keep you from speaking up when something offensive was said in your presence?
Describe an opportunity missed.
What is YOUR story?
UPDATE: See Part III of this Open Dialogue on RonP01's blog at:
http://www.open.salon.com/blog/ronp01/2009/05/14/open_dialogue_on_race_part_iii
UPDATE II: See Part IV of this dialogue on David A. Love's blog at:
http://open.salon.com/blog/david_a_love/2009/05/18/open_dialogue_on_race_part_iv
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Peter Friedrich Schellin
cartouche
Cranky Cuss
rita shibr
femme forte aka candace
Amy McMullen
Salon.com
Comments
Your post illustrates how we all are products and victims of the racism in our culture.
"I’m sure I don’t have any idea how deep my own prejudices go."
You are not alone. Perhaps in Part III we can explore and expose
some of the prejudices that are hidden, even from ourselves.
Thanks, Ron. I hope your post and mine together open up the kind of open discussion that I believe is essential if we ever hope to really redeem that "original sin of slavery" that our country was born with.
Leslie, I totally agree. It would be interesting to explore the forces that perpetuate that de facto physical separation. And it does limit our understanding, as demonstrated by the experience I recount above from kindergarten.
Thanks for reading. I hope we can keep the conversation going.
Racism is about power but it is also about color and money and fear and insecurity and probably other things. It is never just one thing.
Most prejudice in our society is the result of IGNORANCE of other groups and their way of life and social condition. Because of the way American society is presently structured, most Whites have almost no conceptual idea nor first-hand experience of life in the African American and Latino communities. This is because the prevailing norms of separation and segregation that prevent people of different racial/ethnic groups from interacting with each other in a meaningful and positive way, perpetuate this ignorance between diverse groups, which in turn gives rise to attitudes of prejudice.
The other factor is FEAR, which goes much deeper than ignorance, for it goes to the roots of prejudice: privilege and power. What makes racial prejudice so sinister is not just the act of prejudging a person or a group.
Prejudice is an inflexible, rational attitude that, often in a disguised manner, defends privilege, and even after evidence to the contrary will not change, so that the post-judgment is the same as the pre-judgment. In the definition of prejudice, the indictment is greater for post-judgment than for pre-judgment.
Post-judgment is an essential aspect of the definition of what we can characterize as prejudice. This is because racial prejudice is the refusal to change one's attitude even after evidence to the contrary, so that one will continue to post-judge people the same way one pre-judged them. This is the due to the fear of losing the power of privilege. In prejudice people are basically defending privilege of position and thus stand to gain emotionally, culturally, socially and economically from an attitude of prejudice towards others.
Whenever people of the controlling group sense that these privileges are threatened they become fearful of the non-controlling group and react. The old adage applies here:
"A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still."
Prejudice is the emotional and mental reflex which insulates us as individuals and as groups against fear. For white people, prejudice safeguards the position of social advantage and privilege over others defined as different, and therefore, undeserving.
People find great social and economical benefit from being prejudiced. And as long as these gains are forthcoming, people will continue to maintain their prejudice, in spite of the evidence to the contrary, for prejudice is more visceral than cerebral.
I guess that's one reason why I feel strongly about lopening up the topic here. It's just not enough to ignore the subject until something blows up.
As Ronpo1 stated above, I think the biggest obstacles are fear and ignorance. They have always been with us, dating back to tribal days when we knew to fear anyone different. This fear had a purpose then, and has yet to drop out of society now that it now longer has such a purpose.
To get rid of the fear and the ignorance, we have to start at home, with our youngest children. Someone can go to diversity classes all they want, but it won't eradicate something that was taught to them in the cradle.
I am in a group of people that has few members, and I often see racism from both sides. When I am with white people, I'm presumed to be white. On the other hand, when I am on the reserve with my Native friends, I am presumed to be Native. I am both.
With my rather unique perspective, I can see that work needs to be done on all sides.
I'll think on this some more, and be back. Great post.
It is amazing to me that my sons will never know a time without women and minorities in positions of power. They will have a completely different world view - I look at them in awe knowing that they think "what's the big deal?" because it seems so normal now to them.
thanks for this!
There were lots of inter-racial fights. Not just with the whites and the blacks but with the Mexicans also. Once a Mexican girl I was friends with turned on me and took my shoe and was throwing it over my head (I was really short) back and forth to her friends. It felt uncomfortable and there were traces of meaness in this "game".
A black kid named Freddie Wrigley and his friend would slide their hands along the white girls legs and sing these songs to us. We took it in good grace but ya gotta know, we weren't in Kansas anymore!
Predjudice? I don't think I ever registered this newness in a way that would spell predjudice. I was just a scared kid trying to look tough and cool who lost most of my gang to newbies from other neighborhoods and was scrambling for a best friend or new group so I didn't have to sit at lunchtime by myself (the worst fate that could fall upon any 7th grader)!
My first husband had been raised to be totally predjudice. His father was a union leader in the plumbers and pipefitters union, think it went with the territory. I married him very young and took on some of his ways because he was so controlling and abusive. I still don't think for a second I held any true racism on my own. I loved Jimi Hendricks and his music.
Time marches on and all through it I have been so busy fighting my own, personal wars, I have not become a political machine for any party or any cause.
It infuriates a few of the populace who read my little article that comes out on a monthly basis in The Spectrum, my local newspaper, that they cannot put a jacket on me or pin me down to a predictable point of view on all the varying issues.
I vote for the person, not the party. Actually, I think I'm becomming more political than I have ever been in my life but I still don't listen unless it is said simple enough and straight-forward enough that I can understand it.
I think the political language has become too complex for the average American to grasp. So many issues and what seems a simple solution to the common Joe Blow on the street to solve takes billions of dollars in tax payer's money to twist and turn and scrutinize till there is nothing left but a bag full of confusion that is as tight as a tangled mess of twine whose beginning and end are lost in the quagmire.
I can honestly say that I do not think I am a predjudice person although I must admit that I would not feel comfortable walking certain streets in large cities where the poor black people reside and the gang members control.
I know illegal drugs and guns are common among all colors and races of people but for some reason we have the black and the Mexican people stereotyped as the main perpetrators of these crimes.
I just want to live a simple, uncluttered life and feel I have enough to do to keep myself on the right track instead of worrying about what someone else is doing whether they are black, white, red or yellow.
If someone hurts someone else; by trickery or by brute strength, I don't like them. Is this being predjudice?
And yet, I know my children have heard some offensive comments. Just recently, in front of my kids, I had to tell a neighbor not to use an offensive slur in my house.
Prejudice is still alive and kicking. And it will not go down without a fight.
"I know illegal drugs and guns are common among all colors and races of people but for some reason we have the black and the Mexican people stereotyped as the main perpetrators of these crimes. "
I agree, these are stereotypes. Maybe it makes us feel safer and more in control to pigeonhole people.
"I just want to live a simple, uncluttered life and feel I have enough to do to keep myself on the right track instead of worrying about what someone else is doing whether they are black, white, red or yellow."
I think so many people of all backgrounds feel that way. It's hard enough these days to take care of your own, to feed your family and keep your job. But I believe we are all interconnected.
"If someone hurts someone else; by trickery or by brute strength, I don't like them. Is this being prejudiced?"
Good question. If you prejudge someone because of their actions, I suppose it's a kind of prejudice, and I hope with compassion we can see what motivates people to commit acts that hurt others -- but at least their actions are their own, not a stereotype, not something they're born with. I'd say that's not the kind of prejudice I'm talking about on this post.
Thanks for reading and contributing.
I think of certain defining points in my life, such as when an employer racially harassed me, or when I was a college student, and a White alumnus physically accosted me. Such incidents compelled me to devote my career to fighting injustice.
At the same time, from early on, I had an appreciation and understanding of other cultures. I also grew up in Queens, in what was a diverse community. That experience must have had an effect on me-- my wife is Jewish. Two of my closest childhood friends from the neighborhood were Jewish. One married a Black woman and one married an Asian woman.
In high school, I had the opportunity to live with a Japanese family in Tokyo as an exchange student. That experience profoundly altered my view of the world, and suddenly I viewed people from another country and culture as part of my own family.
I'd imagine that if more people had similar experiences, that is, of living with people of different backgrounds, we would have fewer problems, misunderstandigns and awkward moments in this country. Much of America is still segregated, whether by choice or custom or unwritten policy.
As to points 1&2, I can only speak of "in America" as it's where I live. I know that it exists world wide, but I can only speak of American. My best friend in the world is African-American and we talk often about race relations and how to improve it. We both agree that in any color or ethnicity their are racists, bigots, prejudice people. Most of it stems from ignorance and being passed down from generations. My father decided when he was young and went into the Navy and had friends of every color and ethnicity that he would stop the perpetuation that was within his father then and there. He did a wonderful job with me and my sister and I am doing the same.
As to poinst 3 it's obvious that whites have been and still are the greatest perpetrators of racism and hatred. From the starters of slavery to the butchers of Native-Americans and in Europe when you look at Hitler. It's still that way today. Just look at Washington.
As to point 4, we MUST hear stories from every angle to understand anger, frustration and show empathy and understanding. Until everyone is open to that, they will not be as educated as they should be and cannot educate others.
As to point 5, for those people who choose to remain quiet and hope it goes away, you're doing yourself and others a disservice. I love all mankind, or I should say I try to. I care not about age, color, sex, income level, etc... If someone is deserving of being loved and cared about, I'm there. But then that's just me.
Great posts by you and Ron. I hope many will be willing to join.
I would like to interject another hypothesis. If everyone had the same color skin and spoke the same language, many human being would still be racists. Maybe we all are, but just have different parameters to define our "race".
Gwendolyn, there is much to envy about other ethnic groups. Our own ethnic foods, music, accents etc seem boring to us, especially to white Anglo-Saxon Americans because here, we're the majority. But our ways are exotic to others. That mixing, borrowing and sharing is what makes America great.
Is race really superficial? Because it isn't just skin color. There are many different ethnic groups whose skin is dark, and each group and sub-group has customs, foods, music, language, religious practice -- not to mention the effects of discrimination (education, poverty, emotions) affecting their behavior and interactions.
I wonder what other people think about this question.
Being exposed to diversity as a child is so important. I agre with you -- If we could all live and interact with others of different backgrounds, it would make a big difference.
Annette, thank you. I have never admitted some of those things out loud. I'm glad to see that these Dialogue posts are being referenced elsewhere. I hope people are thinking about the subject.
Kind of Blue, you're right -- avoiding the subject does not lead to progress. I'm of Scandinavian background -- My father didn't like to talk about uncomforable subjects, and it rubbed off on me. But I realize this is something we as individuals and as a culture need to confront and talk openly, respectfully and thoughtfully, about.
Your point 3, that whites have been responsible for the worst acts of racism may be true -- I don't really know. I'm not a historian or social scientist. Certainly in the Western Hemisphere.
But doesn't that bring us back to Ron's hypothesis? -- that racism is about power? Because in the West, it has always been white Europeans who have the most power.
You make an interesting point. I guess personal can have several meanings. "1) one's own, individual, private (my personal attention); 2) directed to or concerning an individual (personal letter); 3) referring to an individual's private life (no need to get personal); 5) of the body (personal hygiene)."
In my post I told the story of my friend Dorothy who was offended by a racist remark. I told her not to "take it personally" -- Surely the classmate who made the remark was not even thinking of Dorothy when s/he said it. But Dorothy felt it in a personal way; I think I would have too.
It's true those people in the court in Philadelphia didn't know you as a person and judged you because of what you represented. So I guess you could say that their behavior was not personal.
Were you able to let go of the wound because it wasn't meant personally? Did it feel personal to you?
"In recent years, the Republican Party has been reduced to a regional extremist party - all-White, Christian fundamentalist, uneducated and racist."
With the recent statements of Buchanan, Cheney, and Limbaugh regarding Colin Powell, the phenomenon he cites is becoming acutely apparent. (see my post, re Open Dialogue On Race Part I)
In his post he asks "...What is going on here?"
It seems to be an ideological purge of some kind. The extremists are hijacking the political apparatus of the Republican Party.
What should be cause for concern is not that it's happening, but that they don't seem to care whether they can win elections in this way. Moderate Republicans are , in effect, being told to go form another party. We may well be seeing the genesis of the formation of a third party. If this happens, with average voters being split on a roughly 50/50 basis, a third more extreme right- wing conservative party could, in years to come, hold the balance of electoral power even though they will represent a relatively small minority....
Our "Open Dialogue On Race" is designed to get OS bloggers to share their views on matters of this nature. Part III will be posted shortly and we are looking forward to Davd A. Love's contribution in Part IV.
We CAN make a difference, if no where else, right here at OS. This dialogue MUST begin somewhere, why not here.............
This is truly odd. I know that being mugged was not personal -- the muggers did not know me. After I testified against my muggers, and got all 3 convicted, I went to court twice more to help one of them get into an auto body repair program, so at the end of the day he would be too tired and have too much money in his pocket to go out mugging people. Why waste time being angry when instead I can help prevent this man from committing future muggings?
I was irritated by the smell of that woman's armpit and by her rudeness, but I knew she would have reacted the same way towards any white woman in my place. It was not personal. So many things happen to us that hurt us physically or emotionally that aren't meant personally. I try to think of these events as accidents. Since I'm lucky enough not to have frequent accidents, it's easy to just keep on with my life. Your friend Dorothy may have experienced frequent racial attacks. I can see where frequent attacks would be harder to deal with. Even if they aren't meant personally, they can limit how a person thinks about their freedom to move about in the world. Still, you were right to tell Dorothy that the racially insulting words were not meant personally. If Dorothy could feel that the problem was in the mind of the person insulting her race, and not in herself at all, then the pain of the attack would diminish quickly. Even attacks that seem to be personal -- insults that specifically attack you for your words or your actions -- really say more about the person who is attacking you than about you. Here's an essay by Guy Finley that impressed me powerfully: http://is.gd/zUiD
I sometimes get frustrated talking about race with fellow progressives because they tell me up and down that they're not prejudiced while they live in affluent white neighborhoods and their kids go to mostly white schools in the rich area of town, or worse, they drive their kids past majority-minority public schools to drop them off at private schools.
And, these same progressives sometimes have a hard time understanding America's institutionalized racism/segregation and they don't fully realize what a silver-spoon-in-the-mouth it is to be born white.
I know so many whites who insist on being completely free of prejudice who at the same time can count the number of black friends that they've ever had inside their home on one solitary hand. These are generally the same folks who remain confused as to why inner city schools fail and they wonder how the violence seems to stay in the ghetto. They ignore the demographics of the prison population and they claim to move from say, Jonesboro to Peachtree City because the "schools are better" while insisting that "better" doesn't necessarily mean "whiter."
Everyone has some prejudice. Only the naive, ignorant and cowardly can't admit it.
I am guilty of being prejudiced. I don't particularly like all the mostly white midwesterners and northerners living in Atlanta's wealthy suburbs. I pre-judge and avoid them. I say nasty things about people who drive luxury cars. I'm generally more comfortable around some white folks (like me) and African Americans (like my fiance) than I am around large crowds of recent immigrants that don't speak my language. When I lived in Hawaii, I ventured to places like Waimanalo and Wainae often, pretending not to be scared, but I was always a little scared. I don't particularly like white women--as far as dating and all that. When I'm in social settings with large crowds (sporting events, concerts, etc.) I gravitate and talk to the African Americans. It goes on and on....
and although talk is great, it doesn't solve centuries of injustice all by itself.
As Ron says, "We CAN make a difference, if no where else, right here at OS. This dialogue MUST begin somewhere, why not here............."
Honest dialogue is a place to start.
This Open Dialogue on Race continues on Tuesday with Part IV on my blog. I look forward to providing more thoughts on the issue. So stay tuned and let's keep the discussion going! Please encourage others to join in the dialogue as well.
Another reason why I think this discussion is important -- I look forward to your Part IV in our "Open Dialogue on Race" on OS soon.
The Hypothesis for the Open Dialogue On Race Part V: Classism has/will replace Racism as the dominant social issue in America.
Part V will be posted by Wednesday morning, 27 May....Stay tuned.