Axe of God

Ah, Republicans.

Those saintly, sober, generous souls who work ceaselessly to succor the weak have once again thrown themselves unselfishly into the fiery fray to save our immortal souls.

At great risk to their political futures they have banded together in the House of Representatives to bring forth a bill which will now and forevermore deliver all devout Americans into the loving arms of the one, true, North American, Protestant, Caucasian God. If this law miraculously passes the heathen Senate and somehow avoides the treasonous veto pen of Satan's Own President then every school and federal building will soon bear those most sacred of words, "In God We Trust".

For decades Jews, socialists and accordion repairmen have waged war against the Holy Phrase, conspiring to condemn it to the black hole of obscurity, though there have been small pockets of success. For instance, if you look close enough you can almost discern this redeeming phrase on the billions of coins and paper currencies that circulate throughout our country, but that's not enough according to the beatific Congressman J. Randy Forbes (R-VA). According to Mr. Forbes it needs to stand out in large, bold letters on all taxpayer-funded buildings, those monuments to pagan deviance.

Just imagine.... atheist children will wither and die on the doorstep of their local schools at the mere sight of the phrase, the eyeballs of homosexuals will fall from their sockets upon entering the local DMV, muslim's will spontaneously combust when trying to pay a traffic ticket, and members of the ACLU will simply dissolve into a sooty pile of their own smugness.

Soon all that will be left in America are God's children and a new era of peace and prosperity will reign. With the Lord's help there will be no crime or divorce, no drugs or alcohol. No need for Fox News or big trucks or gambling. No guns or porn or....

Oh, man! What the fuck are those guys thinking?�

=Lefty=