(Note: Due to a wildly enthusiatic response this cartoon is now available as a print. Just click here.)

Up to Scratch

Here's how religion works:

One guy says to his friends and acquaintances "You better cross your eyes on Thursdays or God will rot your juevos off."

His friends, etc. take his word for it because, hey, they heard a story from their cousin's brother down in Jersey...

From this example it's clear that the fundamental ingredient in faith is doubt, which is why religion is so dead-set against facts.

Now cats are not burdened by anything so needlessly worrisome as doubt. True, they can be frightened to the point of apoplexy on occasion but for the most part their world-view says they're top predator and everyone and everything else better just look out, although they're certainly happy to cut some slack for the miserable wretch who opens the cans and cleans out the litter boxes.

Dogs, on the other hand, are all about doubt. They're smart enough to know their environment is full of sinister manifestations out to do them and their masters no damn good so they've devised their own religion to give them succor, complete with their own gods... us.

What? You don't see this in their eyes every time you walk in the door?

Heretic.

That, then, is essentially the difference between dog and cat owners. Dog owners enjoy being treated as deities, perhaps even need this canine glorification to satisfy some inner emotional shortcoming.

Cat owners are simply happy to be treated as equals... that and not having their eyes clawed out in their sleep by the fuzzy little bastards.

 =Lefty=