It’s lunchtime on Thursday, and you just got the message that there’s going to be an office Happy Hour after work today. As far as you can tell, everyone is going. The whole office. That means that your co-workers will be there, some of whom are good friends; but you don’t need a formal, office-wide happy hour to go out with them. Problem is, your bosses will be there, and you know they’ll be watching you. And then there’s your sworn enemy, the guy who would like nothing better than to step over your prone body – or more likely step on it – on his way to the job you’ve both got your eye on.

So you’re going to be nervous. And that means you’re going to want those first couple of shots to help you calm down. And then once you’re calm, you’ll have another shot or two to relax a little more, so that you can have a good time.

Unfortunately, there’s danger ahead. And it’s a hazard that exists even if you’re not doing shots (well, ok, sorry, so you’re not that dumb – who would do shots with their bosses in the same bar?). But a couple or four glasses of wine will do the same thing – too much alcohol in whatever form is just too much relaxation in a work situation. And Happy Hour with colleagues is a work situation, no matter what they say.

Sure, it will help you be more social in an uncomfortable situation; but did you ever think that some of your inhibitions are there for your own protection? For example, neither your boss nor your colleagues need to hear what you “really” think about an office-mate or higher up. If you were sober, you’d know better than to spread gossipy rumors – even if you think they’re true. But a little uninhibited, you don’t even consider that spilling other people’s secrets makes you look a lot worse than anything you might tell about them.

Your sober self also knows that it’s important to choose the right time and place to tell your boss about your edgy idea for a new advertising proposal. But uninhibited, you decide to put a word in her ear at the bar. Inebriated, even just a little bit, you won’t hear that inner voice telling you that this is the wrong time and place. You won’t listen when (if) that same voice says that it’s not a good idea to present your brilliant ideas in while you’re slurring your words – and even if you can hear that internal warning, you’ll tell yourself that you’re not that far gone. But here’s the ugly truth: no matter how you seem to yourself, if you’ve got a few drinks under your belt, you can bet that promotion you’re longing for that you’re not speaking as clearly as you do when you haven’t been drinking.

So what’s a person to do? Maybe you don’t even like Happy Hour. Or maybe you love it, because it’s a time when you can kick back, let off steam, and watch your boss making out with one of the salesmen. Oh yes, if you’re the boss, this post is for you, too!

First, come prepared with some conversation starters. I know, it sounds like high school, but in fact, this is a great opportunity to show off your people skills -- and a chance to sharpen the ones you already have, but may not recognize in yourself.

Be ready to ask questions -- people like to talk about themselves! But if you offer topics that are a little different than the usual, run of the mill conversation, not only will they appreciate it, they'll probably even invite others to come over and join the discussion. You can open up questions about politics, altho that can be tricky. But try this: ask about an activity that you've been thinking about doing. For example, you can ask your physically active boss if she's ever done acrayoga and what it's like; or your cubicle buddy if he's ever sky-dived or taken a trapeze class. It's better if it's an area you might have considered but have never tried. Remember: the goal here is not to show off your smarts, but to showcase your people skills! 

and finally, think about these simple rules for alcohol consumption in work situations:  

1. Mix your alcohol with something. A wine spritzer with ice will go a long way towards keeping you on your game. If you need something stronger, try a vodka or gin tonic with lots of ice. In fact, ice in any drink helps dilute the alcohol and slow down your consumption (I know, I know, that’s not the idea; but it will make it a lot easier to show up at work tomorrow.)

 2. Remember: shots don’t save calories in the long run. I know that everyone (well, most everyone) uses shots not just to relax, but also to keep the calorie intake down. As a therapist who works with people with eating disorders, I can assure you that any calories saved by doing shots will be gained back in one way or another. You may eat more than you planned because your inhibitions are lowered; or you may simply consume the extra calories with extra alcohol.

 And speaking of food, the next two suggestions come from an article by Mike Bruno on the Weight Watcher’s website

3. Don’t drink on an empty stomach. Not only will you get drunker quicker, but you will be less inhibited about eating. Bruno says, “As your judgment slips a little, it's easy to overdo the chicken wings or empty out the peanut bowl.”

He quotes Ruth Kava, PhD, RD, director of nutrition at the American Council on Science and Health, who says that eating something before you go out “makes it a little less likely that that you'll get tipsy and go for broke once a platter of food you really like gets passed around."

4. Or don’t drink at all. Bruno writes, “Order a diet soda or sparkling water with a straw and a lime wedge, and unless someone sips your drink, your teetotaling will go unnoticed. Your abstinence will also be an asset when it's time for a ride home.”

 5. If all else fails and you feel yourself getting more than a little tipsy, leave. Just slip out quietly and head home. You’ll end up feeling much better about yourself, and you’ll leave a much better impression on your colleagues, co-workers, and bosses. Because isn’t making a good impression the real reason you went to Happy Hour with them in the first place?