Alisa Spitzberg's special place in cyberspace

A hodgepodge of a blog-- with more hodge than podge


had to flee Los Angeles, s.o.s, Disgruntled state of Dystopia as the kids say
May 24
miss fernsy if you're nasty. fernsy mae- if you behave
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JULY 29, 2011 1:24PM

Things starting with W, that confuse, irritate, or enrage

Rate: 18 Flag

It turned out that my gripes were pregnant . Each gripe seemed to birth a new gripe.  It got so that my craw overflowed from all my beefs. All of a sudden, I was forced to alphabetize. From A-Z, I found something to bemoan. 



I tried to figure it out here

Weren’t we okay just trying to be OK?,_You%27re_OK

A tidbit I found enlightening:

"Harris's assertion that a child does not mature with the life position I'm OK - You're OK without therapy has been criticised as positioning TA as a quasi-religious soteriology.[3] However the assertion is counter to other TA authorities.[citation needed "



It used to be that only milk was whole or not. Then, it was grain. Now, we’re supposed to strive for wholeness in our lives, and in our food. It took me a whole hour to find this link whereby someone tries to explain it.

What  unnecessary insecurity is this?  Am I half? Am I, ¾? What about you?

 Buddha must have been whole. But, he had a big belly.  Ghandi looked malnourished.  The  writer of that blog cites some ancient yogi’s guru, as one who achieved wholeness, through the practice of a yoga pose.

I thought an image might help:


It didn't. This necessarily leads to Whole Foods:


Whole Foods:

I was sure the recession would spark an  austerity that would preclude upscale hippies from paying 8 dollars for one tomatoe.  I was wrong.


This isn’t a gripe – So much more than some gripe.

So, I’m in the midst of clearing out all the things that bug me, and I'm only up to D.  I feel lighter. I love that others are coming forth to share what bugs them, on my blog.  I'm feeling kindly, when  I see, over and over and over , a commercial for a new sitcom - - a pretty, but unhumorous looking woman is the star.


 The commercial says that the show is called, “Whitney.” On one of these many commercials for “Whitney,” this Whitney starts spitting up a type of “comedy,” that I assured myself had long died of overexposure.


You know the type of "comedy,":

“Ladies, You know it’s true. Woman love to share thoughts and feelings , after you allow us to  cuddle you after sex.  Alas, men find us excruciating, ladies. Can I hear a hear yee. Can I hear an Oh yeah! (pause to take in the roar of grotesque laughter.)

Our guys want us to zip it , so they can either watch sports or poke us with their penis. Ladies! I just used the word penis and I WILL USE THE WORD VAGINA- because being pottymouthed make me all the more like a PRO , as does me aggressively stomping about the stage saying, Ladies," . 

 I speak truth to power when I say, 

 Ladies and guy guys : Men would cut out are tongues, if they didn’t think  that our tongues were useful for sex. Ladies! We worry about our weight. Men don’t like talkers , and they HATE fatties! If I knew who Sarte was, I’d say that he wanted Simone DeBuvoir to STFU,  and show him her tits!

End of example set.


I do some googling. Appropriately, I see that Whitney’s last name is, “Cummings.” I watch some YouTube’s:

 I now thoroughly despise Whitney, and the cretins that saw fit to give her a show. I’m not alone, thank god. Others don’t find this Whitney funny. Some simpletons find her hilarious.

 Funny , to me should  not be one of those ,” in the eye of the beholder,” situations. Sure, I’ll agree to disagree. I’m civilized ,and  scared of jail.   But,  if you find something hilarious that I find lame or visa versa. I’m DONE(choking myself with garrote.)

 I read more comments . Again with this -- woman are not funny bullshit.

 Woman are not funny:

What a lie. What an ugly and persistent Myth. On OS alone we see that this is a lie. I have known so many hilarious women. And, I’ve known so many very attractive and hilarious women. This topic gets me too riled up, so I’ll leave you with.

Wayan Brothers:

Nothing  against them. Well, Damon seems a little pervy ,but a nice bunch of brothers in general. I use them here because their name begins with a W, and because I once read an article about Keenan.  He said that his mother and sister are the funniest in his family. He went on to say that his hilarious sister couldn’t continue being a  stand up because it’s a really ugly and aggressive world(the stand up comedy scene.) I’ve been in that world, and those without enough blind ambition and  testosterone, have a very hard time.

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I worry that OS is filled with Whitney fans.
I have never heard of Whitney, perhaps it is because I only watch shows I tape so that I can buzz through the commercials.
Looking forward to the Q's.
rated with love
Whitney is an abomination unto the Lord.
"skank", the kids call it.

She and her kind perpetuate the miserable & misery-
that men and women cannot get along,
and thus must be trash-talked & humiliated
preferably in a sexual way.
i for one am tired of it.

women are alot funnier than men.
women are self-aware, a condition we guys stumble towards.

then a whitney comes along and puts us in our place.

i hate
wistful yearning for times long gone,


wunderkinds without basic empathy
I didn't know about Whitney. At first I thought you meant Whitney Houston, the only one-name Whitney I could think of. Who is this chick? You're right: she doesn't seem very funny. I enjoyed this list like I've enjoyed your others - you put it all so well!
RP: I never heard of her either. You are so lucky you figured out how to avoid commercials. I haven't. I was kidding about the alphabetizing but I'll PM you my q's. :)
James: Yes, that's right- it is an abomination. It does cause needless misery and alienation. I was sure that whole woman vs man crap was retired. But, then ... Whitney. I'm not sure woman are funnier then men, but they sure are equally as funny, in my experience.
Alysa: Is it clear that that's not her actual set? That's my interpretation of all sets of those pandering hacks that keep the , "woman are needy and pathetic, men only want sex and sports," crap going."
Whitney is an idiot.

" If I knew who Sarte was, I’d say that he wanted Simone DeBuvoir to STFU, and show him her tits!"

I laughed at that one.

Also the new Larry David episode was good.
Now I get it.

It wasn't the actual set.

That explains why it was was funny.
"It turned out that my gripes were pregnant." Best wishes. Wow! You had sextuplets. :)
Who is this Whitney Cummings I've never heard of?
Of course women are funny! My mother used to say that women comedians couldn't be pretty. She would cite Joan Rivers (before any plastic surgery) and Totie Fields as examples... ~r
Not fecund but very funny. Never heard of Whitney and now I might have a beef with you for introducing me to such tripe. I've never thought to alphebetize my rage at this recalcitrant world, might be worth a try.
Another grand post. Never thought much of the Wayans.
I thought you were talking about George "W"... can we put him on the list?
Nick C: I'm missing your larry david reference. Glad you got that it was not really her set.
DOAHSS: So many more than that but I'll retire my rants for the time being. Thanks.
Joan: You and I know that. But, all over the internet they are saying this.
Scylla: I don't blame you . It was selfish of me to unleash that tripe on you. I just couldn't get over that she is beating this dead horse, and someone is paying millions for her to beat said dead horse.
Jeff Howe: Dislike for him(palin,beck, limbaugh) has been done to death. While, wholeness and wellness get left alone ;).
Your parody of Whitney's comedy style was hilarious. I hate to tell you this, but she actually has two shows coming on this fall. I think she created the pilot for the other show but didn't appear in it. But I think you're the one that should have the TV show - wouldn't "Fernsy" be a good name for a show?

Looking forward to the rest of the "Fernsy Dictionary of Gripes."
Fernsy, can I add weasels to the list? Don't like the animal kind or the human kind!
I have never heard of her either but I accept your conclusion completely! I must have missed a few of these :)
I might love Whitney if she showed me her tits, but I sure as hell am not interested in her pursed lips, which makes her look as if she's just eaten a persimmon. Next time you see Whitney, BTW, tell her Sartre was so ugly Simone's tits would have inverted had he looked upon them. ba da bing rimshot

You're on a roll, baby. You got this thing go-ing. I was laffing so hard up there a few paragraphs that the spiders in my office were shushing me. Brava! Brava! Keep 'em comin'!
I'm looking forward to the other letters. This could be a Sesame Street type series -- "Brought to you by the letter..."
It looks like Whitney had a lot done to her face. Now who said that women are not funny? Have you ever watched a woman put make up on? Just kidding! I just want to say that there are some understanding, caring men who listen. Take me, for example. Fun post, fernsy, very clever. R
HA! More gripes, I love it.. I like griping. Although I don't like that word too much for some reason, reminds me of an old person disease. Maybe that's The Grip.
I hate those Ladies monologues. Mainly because I never fit those stereotypes, and they are old and have been DONE (hand slashing
So just to add to the good gripes, to continue mine about men in the salon, I had a wedding so I went to get a pedicure, some dude was painting women's feet in the salon.. it just couldn't get worse than that. I was so relieved when a woman took me back.
The Wholeness thing what is that about. Is Whitney making the Duck Face?
How about George W ? How much more irritating can you get then that?
Oh. now I read the comments.
Doncha hate people who don't read the comments First?
John lennons song Well well well comes to mind here. Love this post.
no whitney love here either, babes. Griping is rich fodder for posts are on a roll..whichever kind you hate less...I'll recommend the walnut raisin. Gripe on, my dear! I've a lot of gripes to share...perhaps will weigh in later! xo r
I lOVE this ramble! It makes me think about your observations. I watched Kathy Griffith on Piers Morgan last night. She was hilarious!! What do they think is funny?????