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JANUARY 30, 2012 12:50PM

Platitude paralysis

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They say that the Lord sayeth, "Vengeance is mine," They sayeth  too that "God helps those who help themselves."Before you can wonder how exactly it would be best to tactfully insist to God that he’s taking too long,  and you’d like to get a  clue as to how you can help speed it along, you are told to have the courage of your convictions and to trust your gut that without guts there will be no glory.You have time to sort that out, of course cause vengeance is a dish best served cold .

Time is on your side if it is not running out.

 Play it safe: Haste makes waste. Don’t lose precious time because time is, they say, the only thing that will heal your wounds as  you wonder about the veracity of a pen being  mightier than a sword.Or should you let it go and dismiss it as a  grain of salt by not rising to the bait?

Speaking about rising: You  rise early and it's for the birds. You pretty much get tired earlier as the only perceptible reward . Then again  you were only promised worms. You are not a bird. You should have figured that one out, at least. Big whoop. What did you expect? You have only yourself to blame.

  You  rise to occasions too. Occassionally, that works for you . Occasionally, you meet or eat so much worse than worms.

That might make you meek .  That’s a good thing cause hey you’ll inherit the earth if they are wrong about might makes right  and how nice guys finish last.

They tell you that you'll reap what you sow, as well.  You don't want to sow or reap just so you end up as a fool , who rushed in, where angels feared to tread. You might go for the gold and end up with fools gold. You’ll never know until you try.

You were sure that angels were in so good with god that they could tread anywhere but apparently on second thought you'll be blamed for foolishness if you don’t look before you leap.  Just can hope that someone will suffer me gladly, then and there.

You are sure that you’ve looked plenty but have you seen the  whole picture?

It's best to go with the flow one will advise as another will get fancier and tell you to take the road less travelled  You'll heed the latter and end up lost and afraid just before "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself"  chimes in and scares the daylights out of you.

In between, while you are dependant on nighlights, you smelled smoke and thought “ Ha. There must be fire” but it turned out it was just your roommate leaving a doobie burning.

Do not  bite off more than you can chew, that’s supposed to be true too.  Though variety may well be the spice of life there’s a fine line, I guess, and you risk being  a jack of all trades, master of none. Isn’t there something too about putting a cart before the horse or is it the horse before the cart? I should ask  someoen cause ask and you shall receive,  though I don't want to impose

If at first you don’t succeed try try try again.

  Plan B for your ninth life:  Smile though your heart is breaking  and take to being a night owl. 

The worms will be relieved( or they will start to feel an impressive sense of  longing.) Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also leads to disappointment and divorce, according to statistics.

 

worm 

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Comments

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Does "out of sight,out of mind" fit in there too?
'tis a falsism in our case. Thinking of and walking in spirit with you, Fernsy. ♥
These aphorisms run through my head constantly like Huxley's hypnopedia in Brave New World. Make it stop!
Fusun: I knew I was forgetting so many. Yes, out of sight out mind my ass. Thanks for walking with me in spirit
Miguela: Make it stop is right! Let us not forget " What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and " Sticks and stones.... names will never harm you." What a crock! Thanks for coming by.
I'm fairly certain that this is one of the "approved" forms of torture at Guantanamo Bay......make it stop, indeed!
Angels fear tredding nowhere. Its the fools that rush in that hold them back a bit.
HUGGGGGGGGGG
My favorite (not) platitudes are, "it's meant to be" and "everyone happens for a reason." Well-done, fernsy. R.
I meant "everything" happens for a reason.
Forgive and forget? Forgive, yes ... because that serves me and let's me sleep at night ... forget? Bite me! Oh, and speaking of ~ hurt me once, shame on you ~ hurt me twice, shame on me.

Hey I listen to KFCK radio, too! (I need a nap now.)

~R~
whhhhhhhhhhossssh..
fernsy in the house! (ha...now THAT is an ironic multi-layered
thing to say,eh? i am safe in the house too!)

this is such a darn problem for me:
"get a clue as to how you can help speed it along, "

(vengeance OR helping, whichever..._i like both)

"you are told to have the courage of your convictions
and to trust your gut
that without guts
there will be no glory."

guts look alot like worms, ha. : )

nicely orchestrated.
Note to Tig Notaro: Put this in your pipe and smoke it! Funnier than anything you'll ever write.
Phew! We really do have a lot of those suckers, don't we? If you find a way to break it to God that he's a little too slow on the uptake, please let me know, Ferns!

Lezlie
I liked this one immensely Ferns.
But if I reread it my thinking will get hung on reruns..
"You never know what you'll find in a box of chocolates" Cranky, when he played Forrest in Forrest Gump~
Some of these are universal and they date back to the wisdom of people all over the world, and guess what. They are usually right. Cool post, fernsy. R
It's all good, Fernsy! It is what it is, you know? Don't get me started....
fernsy ... needed this. Ay, NUMBERS 22:311 `
`
That writ (OOPS?) POP-UP reads: from O.S..`
`
"Something went wrong." I followed `THOTH.`
`
Thoth rated YOU. GOOD. "A still small voice -
`
found in 1 Kings 19:12 KJV. Be horrbly afraid -
`
found in Jeremiah 2:12. Beat swords into hook -

Pruning Hooks & sew. Sow Good earthen seed -
`
found in Isaiah OT 2:4. Woe, beware. Petition -

2- Samuel 2:4. Ah! Now Are The Mighty Fallen -
`
Creeps no escape! No! Not by the Skin of Teeth -
`
That's found in O.T.. It's that old Job 19: 20. Ah!

`
I've been busy and O.S looks like fun. I'll be back?

It's the 'Long Shadow time of the day. I'll view sky.

`
I have had a wild day like you @ Open Salon. Ah!

I hope this comment No stick @ O.S. gadget scroll!
`
P.S.
I finally browsed the December 2011 National G's.
That Magazine is better than having a goofy` GED.
I was browsing ... It was a P.U. read. I remembered.
`
TAGS . . .
yea, no cuss.
no expose a`
male genital
nor a female
cute genitals
`
caravanserai
ay, oh behave
I hope it goes
`
Ha!
I mix up those things so much, my family follows me around to see what I'll mix up next for the Tease Mom file.
Yesterday I watched our less than brilliant cat go outside and remarked: "That cat is not the smartest brick in the shed."
I see the cat takes after me. : )
You hit more than I would have come up with, holy cow!
So clever. I didn't know whether to crack up, or to take 2 Tylenol and hope the words stopped spinning in my head!
witty...as opposed to my half-witty! I loved the playfulness of this piece! It had a sort of je ne sais pas George Carlin-ey quality about it! Sally Forth! (That would be a lot more apt if you would change your name to Sally) Seriously Funny! rated, laughed, liked it good and plenty....but I digress...or was it digest??? xoxoxo
How about -- the God closes a door and opens a window one. He opened a window because he farted. Amirite? Also, I hope you dance. I hope you don't dance, unless you are good at dancing.
A wet mule never flies at night.
a post in time saves nine....

and I sort of like the worm reward....there are worse things...

:)
And then, all generalities are false including this one.
This is great!

Now my brain is platituding all over the place! Hang in there! Take it easy! R
Major synapse explosion!
Dontcha just hate those church lady platitudes, coming at you in their rolled down knee high flesh colored pantyhose overtones, who doesn't wince upon hearing them.
But worse is when they prove true, and then unleash more.
How nice. Was at the hospital all day. Momma fell and broke four toes! Could have been worse. God only gives you as much as you can take unless he lets a straw come and break your back.
Pensiveperson: Love that screenname: Yes, would be a good form of torture for Guantanomo.
LindaS: I think you are on to something big with that comment. Great comment should be used regularly.
Erika: Yeah, I use those all the time.
Ha. Maybe everyone happens for a reason too.
Eyespy: Thanks for that fine comment. Hope you had a nice nap.
James: Thanks pal. I hoped you'd like it. So many more popping in the head at the Cedars Sinai. The mother fell. I broke her fall. But, she broke four toes! She's getting treating like the pope in that hospital. Such is her charm.
ChickenMaan: Thank you. She needs to respond to the lawsuit by today or she defaults, actually.
Lezlie: Will let you know, I promise.
Mission: Very glad. Thank you.
Scanner: When did Cranky play Forest Gump. I'm so out of it.
Toth: Many are right but the worm one is no good. Always good to see you.
DonegalDescendant: OMG I hate the "it's all good" one. It is most certainly not all good. OMG. It is what it is is silly but better than it's all good OMG.
ArtJames: I feel like the answer to all questions lies in that comment. Can't say that I agree that any genital is cute except form maybe a baby's.
AlysaS: Thanks.
JT: Ah, I love moms who mix up things. LOL on your comment.
Lunchlady: This post made me have to dredge a bit. Thanks.
LauraDeurmyer: Sadly, since my life became a catastrophe I have this crap running around in my head all the time. Lots of tylenols and excedrins necessary.
Beckymydear: It's digest. Sally Forth wordplay always very welcome. xxoo
Bell: Oh my. Not happy with the man upstairs? Once bitten twice shy? What is Amirite?
Alsoknowas: You don't say. Never heard that one but it rings true.
Deloresfloresd: Yep, there are worse things that being rewarded with worms :(
JanSand: Not sure what you mean but thanks for coming by.
Zumalicious: Excellent Thanks. Hang tight!
Gooddaughter: Oh that sounds painful. Sorry
Rita: Lately they come fast and furious from outside and just my own mind. Some are really very true.
Here's one I really dislike: "If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger."
RRR
LittleWillie: That one really is the worst of them all. I'll update it cause I missed so many big ones ;)
This is hysterical! Brilliant!! I love it. Whew. That's some mean writin' there, Ferns. Big ole' R. Wow.
Then there's "let go and let god" but god might think you're due for a trouncing. John Dunne said, "Affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it."
Songbird: How nice. Thank you. I've been rewriting this thing in my head all week. Hundreds of song lyrics too-- Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Help!
Geezerchick: God sure has some twisted sense of humor, that's for sure. But he only gives you as much as you can take when he doesn't kill you and thereby makes you stronger so you are not meek enough to inherit the earth and all its worms. Interesting quote. Thanks. Good to see you.
My idle hands may turn out to be the devil's playground, if I can get them around something fun. Great post.
The worms remind me of a pasta dish I ordered at a big shot restaurant one time when I was entertaining clients, they were the same size as the ones in your photo and the red sauce was pink. I started gagging in front of the client and had to leave to puke in the bathroom. I went up to the waiter from a distance and asked him to remove them because I could not go back to the table and see them again.
rated with love
I read this once and then I had to take a drink before I read it again, because this was an amazing, seemingly stream of consciousness thing. Lots to ponder. My first thought was 'time wounds all heels' but that sounds trite compared to what you've done here. Should get an EP. R
Be that as it may this post is really OK!
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