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APRIL 19, 2013 1:15PM

Lauren Spitzberg's illustrations of the Jodi Arias trial

Rate: 18 Flag

First came the mother,whose parenting skills will forever be in question. jodiariassmotherarias 

Then, came the accused murderess, who took the stand for what seemed like a good few years. She lied lots and cried some. She remembered a lot but forgot the twenty nine stabs and the gun shot. She made the cardinal mistake of not realizing that you have to put a camera in the dryer, and not just the wash. Duh.

She arranged her bangs, strategically. A guilty woman doesn't style three bangs just so!

jodiarariastrialA judge, of course, had to be apointed to preside ... and preside... and preside... and pr....This judge, Sherry Stevens, gives wide berth--relevancy be damned, sidebars galore.   She has heard way too much about the ins and outs of anal sex. Pun not intended, but welcome nonetheless. judgesherrysheperdarias

The state wasn't impressed with what Jodi thought to be a perfect murder, and a vertically challenged(Jodi's take from twitter by third party) prosecutor, Juan Martinez is poised, for even more protracted cross examination. juanmartinezarias2 The specter of these two's acquittals caseyanthonylaurenspitzberg2ojsimpsonlaurenspitzbergorangejumpsuit often made him cranky.


The same old state, Arizona, appointed, Jodi Arias, a defense attorney, Kirk Nurmi. The name Nurmi fits, but his suits sure didn't. nurmilaurenspitzberg2 

Televised Death penalty cases are busy making, so more counsel in the form of Jennifer Wilmott was appointed.  Similar hair style to Jodi, but very different straits. Snarky facebook persons spotted a bald spot atop the head of Ms. Wilmot.


You see, Gloria Allred was too busy ensuring the civil rights of celebrity mistresses to offer her services.gloriaallredlaurenspitzbergreddress

What's the point of a fiasco of a spectacle, without a beady eyed charlatan to rack up costs, and send presents to the accused?Enter Dr. Samuels, and his bag of gifts for defendants.. 250 an hour has added up, as the Alexander family bastes in the misery unique to the injustice system! drsamuelsjodiariaslaurenspitzberg2 

Jen is concerned since the good doctor has seemed to inspire animosity from the jurors. Experts who know how to pretend to be scientific, cost 400 hundred an hour.wilmot2arias

To the rescue is Alyce " No PHD for me," LaViolete. Nasty texts equal extreme battery to this batty Alice with a Y instead of an I. On the backs of the truly battered, The buck toothed, Alyce, testifies for six figures alycelaviolet2 

And what would a grotesque charade be without Jodi's ex cellmate, Donovon? They bonded over commissary. Don't ask me how I know.

Once sprung free, convicted arsonist, Donovon Bering, is there in court,  to support her former bunky(prisonspeak for one who you are locked up with, in a place as big as a small bathroom.) 

donovonariasIt sure beats being under the throes of the  Sherrif Arpaio.


And, there to watch every minute will be Dr. Drew,  and  Nancy Grace. drdrewlaurenspitzberg2 Grace - free Nancy  nancygracelaurencor  will again make mock of her last name as she expresses bloodlust in the guise of a concern for justice. She often grew testy with Jean Casarez Aka Jinkasourus jeancasarezlaurenspitzbergrev

 for exhibiting even handedness.

The non- soft spoken, Jane Velez Mitchell,  janevelezmitchelllaurenspitzberg


is on looky loo  CCF05242013_00010duty. strange fifteen minute famers, Katie Wick and Cane Lady, supply her with free commentary oustide the Maricopa county circus  courthouse

One percenters extraordinaire, Mitt and Anne, didn't miss a moment. romneyannelaurenspitzbergcaricature2


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What a circus!

Does anyone - anyone at all - expect justice to come out of this?

Great art work!
This is a work in progress because this is the trial that... takes a century. Stay posted for more witnesses.
these are just spot on -- especially the bizarre Ms. Arias herself.
Lauren, get thee to a publisher !
sky: Thanks. Justice is a bizarre concept. I only expect it in heaven or something.
JT: Oh, good. I know that OS hasn't been too into the trial, but I hoped one or two would get a kick. As for the publisher: I know. She kills me. Is that Nurmi or what? It's getting facebook likes. Is there any way I can find out what pages are liking it?
Forget the publisher! Get one or two of these to the New Yorker! Top notch stuff!

I am a forensic psychologist (civil only) and this particular trial is a fantastic show, doncha' think?
Very cool drawings...R&R ;-)
Dr. Julie Armstrong: Where did you come from? Thank you. I sent things to them a few years ago, but maybe it's time to try again. I have a very low opinion of expert witnesses. OMG. Do I have tales to tell. But, I'm sure you are on the up and up. It is mostly fascinating. I can't get over the time it's taking. I learned a lot of law(the hard way!) and I keep thinking of all the funds that won't go to so many. The judge just isn't in control. Would love to hear your thoughts. Please, write a post.
Who did the drawings? They truly made this piece.

I am not up to date on all of this, i need to do some research.
OK, I am truly an Ass. I re read the title of your post.
What a great piece.

These are amazing, Dr. Armstrong is right, these should be in a major publication. You and your sister are two remarkable women. And yes, where did the doctor come from and why not some new posts, I've favorited her with interest.
Is donovan a male or female? If it is a he, why did she have a male cell mate?
I agree with Dr Julie. There or Harper's, Vanity Fair.
These are every bit as biting-truth as Ralph Steadman. I've seen enough to know Martinez is nailed ( I hated that guy.)
Interesting of all these, Jodi's face is the most nebulous/undecided ...

Lauren is brilliant. Nurmy's face is too, though his gut could use a few more paper inches :-)

Is this trial still going ? Jeez if it was OJ she'd be in Barbados by now.
I don't know the first thing about this trial, but I am always duly impressed with Lauren's art ~ :-}

The Jodi Arias trial has replaced Millionaire Matchmaker & Honey Boo-Boo as my favorite guilty pleasure on the boob tube! It's the ultimate entertaining Reality TV show, even if the pace is too slow. Then I can always turn to Nancy Grace to pour gasoline on the fire, and liven things up again. I sure wish I could be one of those ecprt witnesses. Even I were ripped apart on cross-exam, I'd away away with fees big enough to retire on.
great writing thrown up in the air
unsquiggled looks like this
it's the essence of time
scratched in line
Jmac: Thanks.
Dianes: no worries, and Donovon is a what's that pat type. She's a woman.
Stevekenny: Succinct but sweet! Thanks.
Lheuremyfavoriteoffavorites: Fritterface and her sister thank you. She and I do not now how to self promote and so we... not your concern. Anyhoo, I do wish Dr Armstrong would post. I googled and she was 9 episodes of ID's Wicked women. This strikes me as very exciting. xoo
Kim! So great to see you, as you suspect. Come visit and save her from undeserved struggle. Nurmi does have a bigger belly, you are right. She can do even better. I'm now begging her to draw the ousted juror and Nancy grace, in time for my birthday. You'd be fun to watch the trial with. Thanks a lot Kim.
KateO: I thought it would be huge there. Thanks for the link.
eyespye: I watch it here and there but sister really has taken to it. Thank you.
DonegalD: guilty pleasures are nice. My expert opinion on experts is very harsh. OMG, so many of them are abject whores. Some are dangerous whores like Dr. Kaushal Sharma and Dr. Francisco Velarde. Too much money involved ,and it leads to them providing false testimony, all the time. In L.A county expert forensic psychologists and MD's will, for the right price, falsify reports and recommend that non violent misdemeanor defendants be forcibly medicated,and committed with zero evidence of any mental issue . . Hmmm, pardon that small rant. Thanks for coming by.
WhomIhopebecomesvenezuelasnext president: Lovely comment. Appreciated.
What amazing drawings and thoughts! Well well done.
Like skypixie said, a circus indeed. Love the illustrations.
Wow! I didn't know about this story, Googled "Jodi Arias." Whoa. Rated for smart, snarky writing, and supporting one's talented sister.
I love these drawings. The professionals sure look suspect to me!! What a circus!