There were many things that I wish I could have done differently after my father was murdered.  There are rules that one should follow before and after things like this happen. Even if you aren't a CCC,  some of these are things that you should discuss with certain individuals.  

Know where the paperwork is.

I spent weeks looking for everything I needed to wrap up his affairs.  The man was a pack rat and it was endless the amount of paperwork I needed to go through to find things a simple as his checking account number or his credit card statements.  I found a huge drawer full of those receipts that you get with the coupons on it from the pharmacy, dozens of fake ids, ripped out articles from magazine about nothing in particular before I found his damn birth certificate.

Do not speak to the press.

They are evil whoremongering assholes that do not have the brain power to comprehend what they are doing when they approach a grieving family member.  This is where your designated sane point person comes in.  Typically, the press will catch you in curlers and sweatpants, weeping and wailing, cursing the heavens.   Don't be a stereotype if you can.   If your point person is doing their job, they will be blissed out on xanax, calm and serene with a good command of the english language.  

Being the point person, I answered all calls and door knocks.  For the one press individual that actually got close enough to talk to me directly was delivered this message:

"My family has no comment.  Don't come back."

Which I repeated, ad nauseum until they got the message.  It really didn't take long before they got the idea.

Have that talk before something happens.

Two weeks before all this went down, I had a long talk with my father about the "What ifs".  Granted, this was precipitated by 9/11 and I wanted to know what we should do as a family if it happened again.  He told me where certain things were, what I should do with them, who I should talk to if needed, what I should do with cars, apartments, and who I should take care of.   I didn't expect this to happen, I thought we would be attacked again by terrorists, but the conversation was extremely helpful.

Document everything you do.

Who you talked to, on what day and what time.   Write down all exchange of funds and property with the police, as they really can screw things up.  Everyone involved in your family is going to get in a snit about things especially if there is money involved, so keep a log to back yourself up.   Get multiple copies of the death certificate, you will need them for every account closing, insurance payout, for the car title transfer, etc.  I suggest about 15 or so, as even a few years afterward you will find you might need one. 

Know when to stop.

I considered it a job for about 6 months.  I took care of everything right down to those damn pharmacy receipts.  I got to the point where I wasn't taking care of myself nor grieving in a proper way. 

So I left.   I dropped off the last of the paperwork with my brother, who had started to recover, called a friend that lived very far away, bought a plane ticket and left for a few weeks.  

I finally cried for real as I left on the plane.