I'm a good girlfriend when I send my boyfriend grocery shopping.  In addition to lists with brand names, sizes and the aisles of the store things exist in, I've also been known to look up items on the internet and print PICTURES FOR HIM TO SHOP WITH.

I sent him out today, he sort of looked like this: 

The minute he hit those automatic doors, he turned into this:

 Then the following conversation ensued:

Him: "Babe, I can't find the Spike seasoning you wanted"

 Me:   "They always have it.  Where are you in the store?"

Him:  "In the cracker aisle"

Me:    "......."   "Ok, go to the baking/spice aisle."

Him:  "Ok, I'm there.  I still don't see it."

Me:  "Go all the way down to then end, underneath all the McCormick spices, to the right.  See it?"

Him:  "No .  They don't have it."

Me:  "It has a red cap babe.  Why don't you ask someone?"

Him: Big gigantic sigh of total frustration signifying that he has been pushed beyond all measure of tolerance "No, they don't have it!"

Me:  "I will not touch your penis for many moons if you do not ask someone."

He came home with 2 bottles.