Pops,

You'd be happy to know I don't celebrate Father's Day anymore.  I know that it's was one of the most important days for you and now I cannot bring myself to consider taking that time to honor anyone else.

I moved again.  I know, I should settle down but I am truly your child.  I eschew marriage, committed relationships, career moves that last longer than three years, and most conventional thoughts on such subjects.  Packing was difficult, as I run across mementos of you stashed around the house.  All the fake ID's, winner's circle photos, trucker hats, and scraps of paper with lists of numbers and names.  Someday I'll follow up on those.  I'm pretty sure a few of them have gotten out of the big house by now.  They are old now too, I'm sure I can take them.  I wished you could have gotten past that I was a girl and brought me a little further along in the family business, but I suppose it was for the best. 

I'm getting better at addressing questions about you.  Expecting a few "What'd you do for Father's Day?"'s on Monday at the office.  I'm sure the answer of "slamming a few Stoli's, smoked a Cohiba in honor of, and squeezed off a few rounds at the gun range" probably won't go over so well in my new pretty, conservative, white bread enviornment but I get a sick satisfaction out of shocking people sometimes.

Yes, I get that from you too.  Maybe I'll just say that you've passed. That's always a good one to, I get the head cocked "I'm sorry" from most people.  I never understood why people ask so many personal questions on these types of remembrance holidays.  What does one say to inquiring minds when Pops was murdered and Mommy is a nutter that you don't speak to?

I miss you every day.  There isn't a time I don't think about you.  I have issues with comparing everyone to you  in some way or another - but when it comes down to it, I don't care that your way of thinking and living isn't going to be repeated in any normal human being.  You were right, we are different and I don't need to compromise my seemingly bent point of view to fit in.   You told me it would be difficult and wished I would follow a different path, but you know what - I like what I became. I owe my propensity for forethought, aggressive action, exacting expectations, and the ability to see into the dark and not be frightened to you.

Happy Father's Day Pops.  You did good, even if it didn't seem like it at the time.

Love,

Me